Blast from Past
by AerePerennius
Summary: Remus has just started to get comfortable in his relationship with Tonks when an old flame's appearance rattles their new relationship. Whom will he choose? Or has there never really been a choice? Post-HBP. AU. Rated M for later chapters. Harry Potter series belongs to J K Rowling.
1. Reappearance

_Harry Potter series is work of J K Rowling_

* * *

It was a peaceful day like most of the days at Burrow and with Tonks beside him, it became more perfect. They were huddled next to each other on the sofa; with her hand in his while he silently stroked her new ring. In front of them were Molly and Arthur sitting together on a love seat and to their left was Bill and Fleur sitting on an armchair with Fleur on Bill's lap. Of course those two never needed two chairs...

They were all chatting, listening to laughter of kids floating down. It was such a... domestic and _normal_ day, something he wasn't much used to. Talking leisurely with friends and having evening tea while appreciating kids presence in the house and of course with love of his life beside him, comforting weight of her head on his shoulder.

Merlin he was about to get married; something which he had thought impossible.

Suddenly fierce banging on the door rattled them all into alertness.

"Who's there?" Bill asked in a strong voice walking up to the door with wand in his hand, while others followed him. He felt Tonks standing in a defensive pose beside him and he found a moment to reassuringly squeeze her hand.

"Please...open the door." Came an unfamiliar female voice, it sounded broken and afraid.

"Declare yourself first." Tonks spoke in a confident voice to show that they weren't alone, in case someone was playing trick.

"Please..." The voice moaned as if in pain and sobbing voice followed.

"I..I think it really might be someone who needs help." Molly spoke quietly looking uncomfortable.

Remus was in two minds: either it was really someone in desperate want of help or someone was playing them.

"Open the door Bill. We all are ready for whoever it is." He said while raising his wand more fiercely. He felt others following his action. Arthur covered Molly, while Bill covered Fleur to keep them out of way of danger, though he heard a huff from Fleur, she didn't say anything. Instinct was to take Tonks in to his protective shade but he knew he would end up getting hexed if he tried such a thing. She was an Auror after all and she looked at him as if to say _'Try me'..._

"Alohmora." Bill whispered and the door creaked open.

There was a woman in dark brown hairs, her robes ragged and torn, soiled as if she had been dragged on the ground. But when he noticed her eyes, something within his mind clicked...

She looked oddly familiar...

Those dark green eyes, cheekbones, lips, her hairs through which he had ran his fingers countless times...

Oh god... It can't be...

Meanwhile, the woman looked ready to collapse. None of them lowered their wands, yet their stance relaxed. She seemed to give off vibes that screamed that she wasn't danger.

She seemed to be looking for something or rather someone...

When her large eyes looked at his wide shocked once, it was as if time stopped still.

"Oh Remus!" She exclaimed and ran towards him in desperation, throwing her arms around his neck and clinging to his chest.

Unintentionally, his hand slipped away from Tonks as he moved backwards with force.

Everyone looked at him oddly, he noticed in his daze.

He hesitantly placed his hands on her back and asked fearfully, still not sure what was going on. "Ellie...?" His voice shook.

"Oh Remus... Oh Remus... It has been horrible..." She sobbed, and looked inconsolable burying her face in his neck. It was warm with tears.

"How...?" He mumbled, clueless, looking helplessly to others and finally his eyes lingered on Tonks who was looking oddly at him and appeared to be uncomfortable as if she wasn't liking what she was seeing.

"Why don't we all sit down?" Arthur offered. While he looked puzzled, he obviously had figured out that it wasn't a matter to worry.

As he took Ellie's (was it really Ellie?) shoulders to pull her away, her hold tightened further as she whimpered a no. Figuring that she won't let go, he guided her to the sofa without loosening his hold on her in an awkward position and made her sit.

Tonks immediately took the seat in front of him while other seated as well.

"What's going on Remus?" Bill asked while Fleur handed a glass of water to Remus to give it to the woman.

As he once again tried to untangle himself from her, she whimpered again. "I am here, you are safe. Don't worry." He tried to sooth her and it worked as she let her arms fall.

He thought he heard Tonks take a sigh. Sigh of relief...?

"Here drink this." He said offering water to Ellie and she drank away all in two gulps as if she had been thirsty for ages. Now that she had calmed a bit he took a good look at her. Her hairs were disheveled, she had dirt smudged on her face and her lips bore a little cut. But she still had the same good looks; no matter if they were currently hidden under dirt and distress. He saw Fleur wringing her hand and knew why. Ellie was one-sixteenth Veela. Though she lacked typical Veela temper and hairs, beauty ran in her family.

"She's Ellie..." He started, looking at Tonks firstly, suddenly wishing for her warmth. "We... I have known her since my Hogwarts time... She-she disappeared one week after James and Lily's death... I-We tried to find her, but after few years she was declared dead-" She choked back a sob and he looked back at her, taking her familiar hand in his large ones. "What's going on Ellie... It's been sixteen years...'

Everyone listened with bated breath. But for a moment they thought she wasn't going to speak. Then she composed herself, wiping her tears and looking him straight in to his eyes.

He stopped breathing when he looked in her large eyes, the eyes he had long thought to be closed for forever. God it was all so surreal... he had wished that people long dead from his past would come back alive but obviously he hadn't thought it would ever come true.

"Remus..." She said in a voice which had become so hazy in his mind over course of years. "I-I remember _nothing_. All I know is that I was held hostage. I escaped somehow and found my way to Hogwarts." She dissolved into uncontrollable sobs and he rubbed her back soothingly. "I met Minevra... I thought it was 1981 but but she told me it was _1997_! I was so shocked that all I wanted was to reach you. Minevra told me you would be here at Burrow, Hugo Weasley's old home." Hugo was Arthur's younger brother.

"You-You remember nothing? Who held you captive?" He seemed so astonished that he had no idea where to begin and how to begin.

"I don't remember Remus, I don't remember anything."

"What is the last thing you remember?" He asked, fearing her answer.

"That-that night 6 November, 1981, with you. Remember? You had come back home late and you were hungry and we had nothing at home... Since you were tired I had offered to buy some eggs from nearby store... You had even kissed me bye and had told me to be careful but obviously I got so careless..."

It seemed everyone in the room have stopped breathing. He didn't had heart to look them in eyes especially Tonks'. He looked at the floor. He had been trying to tread carefully, trying to avoid the revelation...

That he and Ellie had been in love. That they had been a couple for two years. That they even had shared a place for about seven months...

He never got around telling Tonks, he had never felt the need. Yet he could almost presence her stiffening at Ellie's words...

"If that was the last thing you remember how come you know that you were held captive?" Her voice was so cold, so unlike her that he could barely believe that it was his beloved. She was always so compassionate towards vulnerable people, one of the reason he loved her so much. He looked slowly, afraid of what he might see. But she wasn't looking at him. She was glaring at Ellie with barely hidden contempt.

"No, then I remember waking up in an unknown room... It-it all seemed so strange... I faced no resistance while escaping... All I remembered was that I had gone to buy eggs and since it was morning when I woke today, I thought only one night would have passed..."

"Then why not go back to Remus', why did you go to Hogwarts?" Tonks interrupted harshly.

Ellie frowned at Tonks, wondering why this woman was so cold with her. "You-you all don't think I am an impostor am I?" She asked looking at everyone, finally resting her eyes on Remus.

Oh she was not an impostor all right, he can tell. He looked up at Tonks again pleadingly, wanting her to cooperate, to help him solve this mystery, but she was once again not looking at him. She was staring unblinkingly at their hands- Ellie's single in his both. He removed his hands so fast as if burned.

"I am not an impostor." Her voice interrupted his thought. She plunged her hand into her neckline and took out a pendant he recognized all too well.

"Remus, see this. You gave me on my birthday; you said it was your mother's. I was in different clothes when I woke up but this was in place." He stared at the jewelry. It was a thin silver chain with a tiny star shaped diamond.

"But-" Tonks started but this time he interrupted. This hatred did not suit her. He wanted old Tonks back.

"Tonks..." He said softly. Finally she looked him in the eye fiercely but her gaze softened when she took in his pleading face.

"Sweetheart." Ellie's voice broke their silent communication and he winced internally. "Remus, please..." She palmed his cheek and made him look at her. "I-I want to be alone- with you, please take me from here, please take me home. My mind is reeling. I had been Twenty one, one day and next day I wake up, I am a thirty something, thirty seven years old woman. My whole life wasted and I don't even remember... please take me away from all this." With this she leaned forward burying her head in his shoulder and hugging him to her.

This time he didn't even stopped Tonks from glaring. Oh god, what a mess...

Then a comprehension dawned on him and his face went pale.

For Ellie it was only yesterday that they have been together, even though she now knew sixteen years have passed, her feelings were unaltered. She obviously was still in love with him...

"Not yet." It was Molly who spoke. "I think we should call Poppy, Get her checked up."

"I am fine." Ellie moaned from somewhere below his chin and he felt warmth of her breath through his shirt. "I want to just sleep."

"I'll floo Poppy." Bill said hastily, ignoring Ellie's comment.

"Come dear let's take you to a room where you can have a lie in." Molly said in a motherly tone and approached her, but just as she tried to pull her away, she pushed herself further into Remus.

"She's in shock Molly." Arthur said in a soft voice to his wife. "Remus, would you take her to Percy's old room? We all will tag along." He said hastily, probably sensing Remus's unease at being left alone with his old lover, that too in knowledge of his current lover.

"Al-alright." He urged her to stand but it seemed she had no energy left. "Ellie..."

"Remus... would you carry me to the room? Like you do when I am tired? I can barely stand." Her use of present tense did not go unnoticed by him.

In all honesty, he was heartbroken at her distress. He couldn't imagine what it would have been like to wake one day and realize that whole world around them have changed. She had meant so much to him. Before being his love, his girlfriend she had been one of his best friend. After James and Lily's death she had been his safe heaven. He remembered that one week prior to her disappearance they had been inseparable. They had spent almost their whole week, ignoring the world, in their bedroom making love again and again, washing away all the pain with physical comfort. She had been close to Potters too. In fact she had been Lily's best friend.

When she had disappeared, he had almost come on the verge of being mad, wondering how more could he take...

But now here she was, mentally shocked but otherwise unharmed. A little older yet posing same elegance and beauty. He was sure he would feel elated once his own shock ebbed away to have his best friend back, a link to his past...

He looked at Tonks. She was staring at the floor, looking tearful, it broke his heart yet he steeled his heart for few moments. Reminding himself all the time Ellie had been there for him, he decided that it was now his turn to return the favor. He gently picked her up in his arms, like old times, as she had said; she encircled her hands around her neck, her head flopping down his chest. He sighed and looked at the flight of stairs leading to Percy's room.

"Poppy is on her way."

He heard Bill's voice in background as he climbed the stairs.

He could feel his back burning with Tonks' raging gaze.


	2. The second woman

_Harry Potter series belongs to J K Rowling._

_This chapter contains mature content._

* * *

Tonks stood by the doorway and took in the scene. They were all in Percy's old room; at least rest of them were as she merely stood at the boundary of the room. Poppy was diagnosing her new patient, while Arthur, Molly and Fleur stood near by. Bill had gone to inform the children of the situation, especially to Fred and George, to maintain calm as it might distress their new house guest. _Remus _was sitting by the bed holding- holding _Ellie's_ hand. She had such a short and _fine_ name, unlike hers. "Miss Wilkins" Poppy had said in an astonished voice when she had seen who it was she had to diagnose.

Ellie Wilkins... Why had she never heard her name? Sirius never once mentioned her, neither Arthur and Molly though obviously this woman had known Weasley family too.

She didn't know how to feel. Just one week ago Remus had finally given in and two days ago he had proposed her. Or rather she had hinted that she wanted to get married and he had caught on. Had he even wanted to propose or had she forced him unknowingly? Was this _Ellie _had been the _main_ reason that he was reluctant to be in a relationship with her? Was he still in love with her?

Suddenly she felt every insecurity creep up. She didn't know who was the second woman here- She or Wilkins.

She looked at Remus again. He was giving Wilkins a tender and reassuring smile. She felt jealousy surge in her stomach, threatening to spill from her mouth in form of vomit.

Would he even notice if she went away? Why would he look at her when he had the Veela. Oh yes, Fleur had whispered past her that how she could feel in Wilkins' aura. Tonks was sure that once Wilkins got settled, she would look epitome of beauty.

"Her memory has been modified, severely." Poppy spoke after completing her diagnosis. "She had been physically tortured too, though obviously healed."

She saw Remus squeeze his eyes shut as if in pain while she felt her own heat squeeze in envy. She was acting like a horrible woman she knew it. Wilkins had obviously been through trauma, but she couldn't just sympathize.

To tell the truth, she felt threatened from Ellie Wilkins. She was obviously beautiful, looked intellectual and most importantly she was of Remus' age and had been in his friend circle. She must know him so well...

She suddenly felt as if she didn't know Remus at all.

"Anyway to bring her memory back?" Remus asked hopefully as Wilkins looked fearful.

"I don't think so. I am sorry Miss Wilkins."

Wilkins whimpered as tears streamed down her face. She turned her face burying in the pillow while Remus caressed her head...

It was too much for Tonks. She moved away as quietly yet as fast as she could. When she reached the door through which Wilkins had entered Burrow and her life, she broke in to a run. Finally stopping when she reached the tree by which Remus had proposed her during sunset. She wanted to retch, wanted to heave the bitter taste off her stomach.

Was she overreacting? Was she just being a jealous bitch? She slid down the tree on soft grass, darkness all around her.

How long she sat there she had no clue. Could have been hours, could have been minutes. She knew she should go back to her flat but for past few days they were staying at Burrow to help Molly with the wedding.

"Nymphadora?"

Her heart sped up at his voice. She hastily got up and turned to look at him.

He looked worried. "Everything fine?" She asked, not knowing to be thankful that he had remembered her at all or to be angry but afraid to scare him away.

"I don't know if it can be said that it is fine... Why did you left? I was worried wondering where you could have gone." He stepped forward peering at her through his blue eyes.

"I-I... thought you would be busy. That may be you don't need me." She whispered in a small voice.

"Why would you think so?" He looked shocked. He brought his hands to palm her face. Same hands with which he had been holding Wilkins' hand. "I need you more than ever."

She looked into his eyes wanting to believe but deep down knowing that it was a very fragile matter, she needed to tread carefully or it would cost them their relationship. "You do?"

"Of course. Look I know there's a lot to talk about, but can we postpone it for later? I just want to give my mind a break. Can we go to sleep?

"Uh... What about Wil- Ellie?"

"Poppy gave her sleeping potion."

_Oh._

So he had come back to her _after she_ had fallen asleep. He had only remembered her when he was sure that Wilkins would be alright.

She felt like tearing her hairs.

"Dora?"

"Hmmm. Yes we can."

He looked grateful and smiled. A smile which she felt hard to return. He brought his lips to hers and kissed her ardently. She slowly tried to relax in his embrace and tried to let go of the tension.

He circled his arms around her waist and brought her forward. Though she was still unsure she responded by burying her hands in his hairs. He stroked her lower lip with his tongue and she shivered pleasantly. They pressed together further and unwittingly she ground her hips into his, feeling him harden.

They stood there for few minutes and a chaste kiss turned into something entirely different. With each second the air crackled with increasing heat. Never once breaking their lips, he removed his one hand from her back and brought it forward to her shirt button. As he popped open the first and then second button, she pulled away reluctantly. "Remus..." She mumbled through incoherency.

"What?' He latched his lips to her neck, never once stopping in process of opening her buttons. As a thin strip of her skin was revealed, she shivered as the cool air hit her. "We are outside. Lets take this inside at least."

"Whats wrong here?" He finally looked her in the eyes but his hands never stopped once... His hands took hold of her shirt, spreading it wide open. She moaned as a blast of cool air hit her chest and stomach. "Whats wrong here?" He asked her again, without staring down her chest to his credit. Merlin ever since they had gotten together, Remus had opened up to her in more than one ways...

"Any one can see us." She tried to maintain composure as his one palm caressed her stomach while other rubbed her back.

"But that's what turns you on Dora." He huskily said into her ear. "The danger, the _thrill_ of someone walking in on us, seeing me taking _you_." He growled as his one hand unsnapped her bra. With that her composure snapped too. She pulled him forward crushing their lips and hips together, setting on the task of unbuttoning and unbuckling his clothes and she did so with sinister speed. He pushed her shirt and bra off her shoulder and immediately she hugged him, both groaning on contact.

Finally, she unzipped his pants and took him in her hand making him moan. He pushed her against the hard bark of tree, staring at her hungrily.

Standing naked up to waist she felt strangely vulnerable yet a flush went through her body pooling between her thighs at the idea of being rendered vulnerable by Remus. He moved forward and started kissing her chest lavishly as his one hand creeped beneath her skirt...

"Remus please.."

"Please what?"

"Touch me."

He complied as she felt him pushing her knickers aside and palming her heat. Unashamedly she grounded into his hand, desperate for a relief from earlier stress...

Earlier stress... What had been that earlier stress? She racked her mind as his one finger slid in.

Wilkins. Ellie Wilkins. Her eyes flew open to meet his but his mouth was busy licking her breasts.

Wilkins, his old lover was back yet here he was with his mouth on her breasts and hand between her thighs. Hers, not between Wilkins legs. The image of him pleasuring Wilkins as he was pleasuring her now, probably after leaving Tonks, after realizing that his old love was a better match for him, filled her with burning anger.

She dragged his hand away, urging his hips forwards. Just as she felt him at her entrance, she took him in one stroke. He groaned at the impact.

She wanted him, she wanted to feel all of him, wanted to claim all of him. If he were to taken away from her now, she would go mad. She felt tears stinging behind her eyelids as he pounded in her fast yet not fast enough.

"Harder Remus, do it like you really mean it. Let go of yourself." She panted encouraging him and feeling her words turn into actions as he pounded like a madman. Her back rubbed painfully on the trunk, his hands clutched her hips tightly, yet this pain was welcome. At least _this_ was accompanied by pleasure.

She knew though sex won't solve the issues, that is if they even had issues...

All thoughts of him leaving her fled her mind as she reached her climax. She felt stars exploding behind her eyes as she came with her scream. He plunged few more times and spilled rigorously inside her with a deep growl.

They both slid down the grass as their legs gave away.

"Oh Merlin I don't know where that came from." He whispered after few moments of breath. "I panicked when I didn't saw you at Burrow."

She winced as her back rubbed against the grass.

"Are you hurt?" He immediately asked in concern.

"The trunk wasn't exactly smooth." She winced again as his warm hand searched her back and felt scratches there.

"God I am sorry..."

"Don't be. You can heal me."

He leaned forward and kissed her forehead. "Get dressed." He said as he righted his pants.

As he turned to search for his shirt she caught his hand. "Remus do you love me?"

He looked startled. "Of course my sweetheart. Never question that."

He picked up her bra and hooked it back in place. Only _he_ would dress the girl after sex.

After they got dressed he guided her to the burrow with his hand on her waist, wishing no one would meet them in way.

"When will you tell her?" She asked knowing perfectly well that he would know what she was talking about.

"Poppy said to at least give her a night's rest before giving her any shock. We'll see." He was avoiding her eyes.

_We'll see?_ What did that mean that he wanted to play lovers with Wilkins while she was kept in dark? She tried to take calming breath reminding herself she needed to be patient.

When they finally reached their room she realized that her bad luck was that the room they had been given was in front of Wilkins' room.

Just as they were about to go in, they heard Wilkins moaning in sleep for Remus. They both stared at each other- Tonks with something skin to anger while he looked uncomfortable.

When Wilkins spoke again, they realized she had woken up from her sleep. "Remus where are you?" She spoke fearfully with panic evident in her voice. She understood how it would have looked to her, waking up in unknown room with no familiar face.

"I need to-" He gestured towards the room, hastily making exit without uttering a word to her. He didn't even bothered to say _sorry_.

"I am here, right here." His soothing voice floated through the doorway.

"Can't you lie down with me?"

"I-I will. Firstly go back to sleep."

"Please don't leave me, please."

"I won't." He murmured so quietly that had it not been night time she wouldn't have heard. It sounded like a promise.

She clenched her jaws entering her own room, blinking back tears.

It had been wishful thinking to think that this elephant in room would disappear with physical intimacy.

He didn't return the whole night.


	3. Revelations

He woke up in an uncomfortable position cramped in a chair as sunlight streamed down his face. He looked around and saw the the figure lying beside him. And the event of yesterday came crashing upon him.

As he looked at Ellie's sleeping face he realized that never in his wildest dreams had he thought that he would see her face again. Last night she was particularly traumatized after waking up alone in a dark room and had sought his comfort. He had stayed by her side whole night holding her hand until she fell asleep again. The sleeping potion Poppy gave wasn't working fully and she would stir every now and then and therefore he had decided to stay beside her. After all it was the least he could do.

She stirred and he was struck with remembrance how she used to wake up every morning beside him.

"Morning." she spoke in her sweet voice. He left the chair and seated himself on the edge of the bed, helping her to sit up.

"How are you feeling now?"

"Better. Still can't believe though..."

"I can't tell you how happy I am to have you back." He said truthfully. Last night he had time to come to terms with her return and it had finally sunk in.

"Remus." She murmured looking at him with those beautiful green eyes. "How-How did you go through these year all alone...?" She trailed off tears filling her eyes.

Suddenly and again it struck him that it was Ellie in front of him and he remembered all over again how she had supported him in every way. "Oh Ellie you have no idea." He shook his head his own eyes filling. Every ordeal he had to face alone came in front of his mind. He placed his forehead on hers.

"M sorry to leave you behind."

"You didn't Ellie. Never blame yourself for that. I am sorry that I wasn't there for you when you were facing Merlin knows what..."

She looked up and their eyes locked.

He felt as if he was twenty again.

As she leaned forward but he was quicker. He leaned forward burying his face in her neck, taking in her familiar scent, not giving her a chance to kiss him. She apparently didn't notice his evasion. He indeed was happy, way too happy to have her back but there were certain barriers now that weren't meant to be crossed.

She clung to him desperately just like last night. They were pressed together so tightly that she was half in his lap.

Suddenly the door burst open. "Breakfast-"

They both jumped apart as if caught guilty. He turned and looked at the face he knew all too well.

"-is ready. Downstairs." Tonks completed with a sour look on her face, her hairs a dark brown shade, not so unlike to Ellie's. As she went back hurriedly, he thought her eyes looked a bit puffy.

As if she had spent whole night crying...

Sweet Merlin... No guesses there what she might have thought about him staying with Ellie the whole night and then almost practically seeing her in his lap.

"We should go." He mumbled, feeling guilty, and got off the bed.

"Do you mind if I wash? Molly left me some spare robes too."

"Sure."

After fifteen minutes he saw himself at the Burrow's table. Ellie was still in bathroom, Molly was in kitchen with Tonks. He had intended to catch her eyes so that he could send a silent apology or a quick kiss but she never once looked at him. He wanted to just go there, pay no heed to Molly and hug her to his chest.

He wondered if she still had those scratches on her back... he had meant to heal them...

As Ellie walked down the stairs, his jaw dropped open.

He could now see her all clearly without any dirt and tear tracks on her cheek and disheveled hairs...

Her mid-back length brown hairs were bouncing behind her with each step, clean and dried, her eyes clearer and twinkling. She gave him a shy smile which he returned. She had aged gracefully and he was left breathless all over again with the realization that his best friend was back.

Just as she seated herself beside him, his eyes caught Tonks'. She no longer had her back towards him. She was holding plates to place on the table and she had taken in the whole scene of Ellie entering and his jaw dropping, which he realized was still half open. He snapped it shut. The hurt expression she had on her face, he knew she had taken it wrong way again...

_Oh Dora...my love..._

She broke the eye contact, placing the plates and he saw her hands were shaking. He was too busy seeing at her that he didn't see Ellie leaning forward...

She placed a chaste kiss on his lips and everything happened at once. He almost jumped out of his skin at the contact, which apparently Tonks saw too as the plates shattered on the ground startling Ellie so much that she gave a small scream.

"What's going on here." Molly came bustling, mending mindlessly the plates, noticing Remus pale face and Ellie clutching her chest.

"I-I am a bit jumpy, am sorry." She said in a weak voice.

Tonks turned away and this time he was sure he saw tears in her eyes.

"What's wrong with that girl?" Ellie whispered to him but he barely heard her as Molly was currently having a staring match with him.

"There are so many things you must know Ellie dear." Molly said in a soothing voice. "I am sure Remus would fill you in." She said pointedly.

_No not now...please...he can't lose her when he has got her just back...he had no idea what the discovery would do to her mind...what if she couldn't take those shocks well?_

"Yes." She said nervously. "I understand so much must have changed..."

"You have no idea." he absently said.

"Let me help you Remus." Molly interrupted shooting daggers at him. "Let me tell her..."

He closed his eyes waiting for the inevitable. It would break her heart and that in return will hurt him.

"Sirius was innocent." Tonks' voice interrupted softly and he opened his eyes to look at her gratefully but she was looking at the ground.

Ellie gasped. "Oh god...oh god... Remus?"

"Hmmm." He answered vaguely wondering how on earth should he tell her that Sirius was dead.

Ellie flashed such a dazzling smile that he couldn't begrudge her a moment's happiness.

"There are other things you need to know too." He finally murmured reluctantly and felt in his peripheral vision Tonks getting up from the table.

"What's it?"

He looked around, wishing more than ever for feel of Tonks' hands in his own. He had never done this- had never broken someone's heart...

"I am getting married..." He finally said in one breath looking straight at her. There was no reason avoiding. It was unfair to Tonks. And it was unfair to Ellie to keep her in false illusion.

"Yeah? But you never asked me..." Ellie smiled in puzzlement when suddenly realization dawned on her face and for a moment he thought she might faint.

She stood on shaking legs and stared at him with huge fearful eyes as if she didn't quite know him. "How can you do this?"

"Ellie... it's been sixteen years..." He stood too trying to explain.

"Who is the lucky girl?" She spat the word 'lucky.'

His eyes flickered behind Ellie from where Tonks was watching the whole scene.

"Nymphadora..." He told her while looking in Tonks' eyes. He knew both the women were extremely pissed with him.

"Who?" She almost shrieked.

He stretched out his hand beckoning Tonks to join him while Ellie kept staring at him with wide eyed horror.

As Tonks took his hand, he pulled her beside him, lightly keeping his hands on her waist, feeling her rigid posture.

"Nymphadora Tonks." He looked at Ellie and something like pride bubbled in his chest. Pride for introducing Tonks as his wife to be but at the same time shame at breaking Ellie's heart.

"YOU!" Ellie shouted pointing an accusing finger at Tonks. "You are involved with this bratty little _kid_ Remus?"

Molly gasped and Tonks gaped in open hatred at her. She almost lunged at her but steady pressure of his hand kept her in place.

"I'll let you know that Tonks is an adult, Auror and an Order member." He replied a tad coldly not taking well to his old lover insulting his fiance.

"Tonks!" Ellie repeated again looking around madly. "Are you Andromeda's kid?" She asked disrespectfully.

"She is." He replied, not wanting both the woman to have a direct conversation.

"Shame on you Remus! She might have been in her nappies while you have been shagging my brains out." Ellie had let go of all the decorum, all of her respectful demeanor. That's what she did when she was hurt, she got insulting.

He felt Tonks shudder beside him in disgust and knew that only his hand was holding her back. "Enough Ellie, I think we should talk about this like civil people."

"CIVIL?" She screamed and Molly winced at her volume. "You are _humoring _this weird hair-colored girl, about to get married WHEN YOU PROMISED ME YOU WON'T LOVE ANOTHER SOUL! Wait isn't she a metamorphmagus? Is that the reason you are marrying her? Is that how you have been filling my place? Asking her to change into me? Then don't Remus I am back-"

"SHUT UP." He thundered. He only had so much patience. Ellie meant a lot to him, she really did but she was crossing her limits. "You are not to insult my fiance in front of me! Is that clear? And now we'll have this conversation alone, in private." He announced knowing well that this needed to be sought out in quiet.

"Remus-" Tonks whispered behind him.

"Don't Tonks, don't say anything. I will be back soon."

With that he got hold of Ellie's hand who was still looking disbelievingly at him and dragged her out of the door, spotting Arthur's shed as the perfect place for a private talk.

Behind them at Burrow, Tonks was frantic. "I am scared Molly, what if they reconcile? What if she convinced him that I am not good enough for him? What if he still loves her?"

"Dear, don't doubt your love, didn't you see the way he defended you?" Molly soothed.

Tonks wiped her sweaty palms on her knees. "He probably did out of sense of nobility. You didn't see the way he looked at her when she came down." Tears filled her eyes as she remembered Remus's awe struck face on seeing Wilkins.

"You are imagining dear, he is in love with you..." She tried helplessly.

"Don't you see Molly? As per him, she died, she disappeared suddenly and he got no closure. Before she disappeared they were happy together. If they would have broken up, that would have been a different matter. But may be his feelings were just buried down in his heart, and those feelings never really left him? What if with her reappearance those feeling re-surface? He had been so reluctant with me but obviously he had been in relationship before. Don't you see she was the main reason!"

She let go of herself feeling tears dropping down her face. She knew it, she knew that Remus felt something for Ellie, she could see it in his eyes. And seeing the look on Molly's face which told that she that no answer to that, she completely gave in to the wretchedness.

Remus was going to leave her.

* * *

_ So, Tonks has concluded that Remus is going to leave her. But what do you think will he? Are Tonks's assumptions correct? Do review and tell me what you think!_


	4. Confessions

Remus charmed the door silent with his wand. He then seated himself at the chair which sent a puff of dust in air. "Listen Ellie, before we begin, please _please_ hear me out." He requested in the best pleading tone he could muster. He wanted to handle this as gently as possible.

Ellie didn't nod but didn't interrupted either so he took this as his cue to speak.

"Firstly, I want to tell you, I know, _I know how you are feeling, _you are in the worst situation. I cannot even begin to imagine how it would be to wake up one day and have my whole world turn upside down. So if you have even ounce of doubt that I don't empathize with you then please change your thinking immediately. There's no one in this world who cares more about you right now." He let his words sink in for a moment. "Now, please say something. What is going on in your head."

"I feel cheated." She sniffed, not looking at him.

He opened his mouth and closed it. "I-I- it's been sixteen years. I tried very hard to find you, we all did."

"It was not enough." She said and lowered herself on a stool in front of him. "Was I so easy to forget?"

"Of course not! How can you say so? It took me years-_years_ to get used to the feeling of being the only one left."

"It took you time to get used to being alone, not getting used to _being without me_, there's a difference Remus."

"I loved you Ellie, how can you even think so? He asked surprised.

"Loved. Not love. That's all the difference that makes."

He sighed. How to explain it to her?

"When-when you disappeared, I didn't know what to do." He murmured, starting from the start. "I asked Dumbledore's help. I assisted Aurors in the search. Days went by searching for you and I wouldn't even return home, days went by with just a bread in my stomach. All I wanted to do was to find you. When I couldn't find you here, I left the country and searched all the places we even ever just _talked_ about; all the places connected to you. But after four years, I gave up. I am sorry Ellie if four years weren't sufficient but even your official search was called off after three years. Yet I continued but finally I gave up all the hope of ever finding you. After further two years they declared you dead. I can't explain how I felt. James, Lily, Peter were dead, Sirius was in Azkaban but I knew about them. I knew what happened to them but I had no idea what happened to you... It took me nearly seven years to come to terms with your _death... _Finally in 1988, I left the country for good. I went to France. It was peaceful. No attachments, no memories there... I came back here in 1991. And I was a changed man. I had accepted my fate that I was meant to be alone..."

"Thank you Remus for putting so much effort." She said, though her voice was soft, it didn't exactly appeared that she was actually thankful. "I understand you searched for me for years. But what I want to know is when did you fell out of love with me?"

She hit the nail with that question.

To tell the truth he always fancied himself to be in love with his dead girlfriend until he left for France...

"I don't know..."

"I'll tell you Remus! You moved on long long time ago. After that you were just trying to find your _best friend._"

"Oh, so you mean that if you would have came back after ten years I wouldn't have gotten back with you?"

"Well I have gotten back _now, _why not get together _now_?

"In case you haven't noticed I am engaged."

"You don't have to marry her out of obligation. You probably think you are in love because you are alone-"

"Don't make assumptions about me Ellie. You know nothing about our relationship." He warned.

"You mean to tell me you actually _love_ her? The type of girl you always ran away from?"

They locked their eyes in battle of wits.

"Yes, I do." He whispered but his voice probably reverberated in the whole shed.

"Rubbish!" She shrieked getting up, causing the stool to fall backwards. "_You_ can never love someone so younger than you."

"You think you know me, and may be you _did _but as I said I am a changed man."

"So changed that you gave up your morals?" She sighed and kneeled in front of him, placing her hands on his knees. "She's young Remus-" She started gently. "-young people are indecisive. Remember how Sirius fancied himself in love with every girl every next week? She'll get bored too Remus, from you."

He sighed. How he had initially wished that that would have been the case so that Tonks didn't have to settle for an unworthy man...

"She... She really loves me. You have to trust me judgement on that. I pushed her away for a long time, hurt her in the worst possible way that makes me now sick in the stomach to think about. But she never gave up."

Something like hope fitted across Ellie's face and he wondered what had he said to give her hope.

She pushed his knees apart and seated herself between them, leaning forward and peering into his eyes. "She's probably obsessed Remus. Young people are like that-"

"Ellie..." He interrupted gently cupping her face in his hands and looking her directly in the eyes. "Love, I don't want to be harsh with you, but it is truth; I love Dora with all my being and she loves me equally so. You have to understand this." It hurt him immensely because deeply he could see how much it was hurting her. One of the reason he wasn't really taking all the things she was saying against Tonks and their relationship was because he knew she was hurting. God knew how he would have felt if he ever saw Tonks with someone else...

"I saw the way you looked at me ever since I returned." She breathed softly.

"I would have looked at Lily, or James the same way too if they were to return from death."

"It is the look of _love_ Remus." She asked and he could see hope breaking within.

Hands still palming her face, he shook his head. "I am sorry, you are imaging it." He sadly.

"Okay listen to me." She said desperately holding his hands on her face with her own. "I can love you, I mean I do love you, more than you can imagine. I will do anything for you. If you say fight I will, if you say run I will run with you. We can be each other's strength, like old times Remus, you know how good chemistry we have. Just give me few days, spend few days with me and you will realize that you have loved me all along. _You'll forget every other woman you have ever set your eyes on_, once you give me this chance, once I show you how exactly a woman can love and to what extent... you'll be happier with me Remus. We are of same age, we are compatible, we have same thinking, qualities and hobbies... I Love you..." He could feel her breath on his lips and he closed his eyes.

For a moment he pondered on an extremely evil and deceiving scheme. If he were to accept Ellie's offer, if he gave her a chance, he could tell Tonks so. Then, Tonks might be able to move on once she sees him with other woman... She could be spared a mediocre life, she will find a _normal_ man...

But then what will happen to him? How will he live without her? And how can he use Ellie for Tonks' benefit. It would break Tonks's heart and it was not like as if he could keep happy Ellie either. It would destroy lives of three people.

He opened his eyes and blue met green. "Dora does that to me, Ellie. She makes me forget about every other woman I have ever set my eyes on. I-I am sorry... I don't love you...not like that anyway..." He whispered as gently as he could.

He could literally hear her heart breaking as she let their hands fall and she stood on shaky legs.

"Prove it to me Remus. Prove me that you don't love me."

"How can I do so? I am marrying someone else, isn't that enough of a prove?"

She shook her head. "Kiss me."

"_What?_"

"Kiss me. If you don't have any feelings for me, as you claim to, you would feel nothing. But if you do and love is there somewhere I am sure you will remember that you still love me. Kiss me."

He shook his head at the absurd idea. "I don't need to kiss you to know my feelings."

"But I need to know." She said advancing.

"You'll just have to trust my words then." He backed as she advanced further.

"You forgot old days Remus?" She said in a challenging way. "Back then, you used to trust _my_ words. You used to trust _my_ judgement, you'll just have to do so again."

His back hit the wall and she came nose to nose with him.

"_No._"

But she paid no heed. She pressed her red lips to his firmly.

He closed his fist to seize control. Control not because he was having any hard time resisting her but control because he was having hard time trying not to push her away. Had it been any other woman, she would have been on the floor by now.

He shuddered as she swept her tongue on his lips, forcibly entering his mouth while her hands caressed his chest in what she thought was an enticing way. He shuddered not from pleasure but from intrusion, intrusion of his private space by a woman other than Nymphadora.

He waited. He waited for her to comprehend herself, that he wasn't interested. It was necessary for her to do so. She would get closure in this way only.

But when her lips started trailing his jaws and neck and her hand started to move down his abdomen, he knew she wasn't going to understand _anything_ that day.

He seized her shoulders firmly and pushed her away before she could proceed any further.

"I hope you got your proof _Eliza_ Wilkins." He glared at her using her full name and tuned away, not waiting for any confirmation.

"If Tonks were to die today, will you move on after _seven years_ and get back with me?"

Her question halted him in his track. He ignored her torn voice and turned to look at her. "If she were to die today, _I'd die too_."

His answer finally broke down the dam of her tears.

"You mean to say you love her more than you ever loved me?"

"Maybe. I loved you _too_ much but my love for Tonks is limitless, beyond boundaries. I am sorry Ellie, we were never meant to be." And with that he left the shed, leaving her behind to come terms with whatever he had said.

Back in the shed, Ellie Wilkins vowed to herself, that she would use all her strength to get Remus back. She had loved him ever since she was eleven and she simply didn't know how to function without him. It might have been sixteen years that separated them, but for her it was only two days ago that they had been making love on the rooftop at midnight under starlit sky...

* * *

_There you have it. Did you like Remus' answers? Thanks for reviews and I await for more :)_


	5. Misunderstanding

_Warning: Smut ahead._

* * *

He opened the door to the Burrow, expecting it to be empty but surprisingly finding it full. It was breakfast time after all. He awkwardly entered, knowing everyone's attention was on him though the kids looked a little clueless. He made a beeline for the only chair available that was across to the one Tonks was sitting in.

Just as Remus seated himself, he heard Tonks's spoon clattering to her empty plate. He looked up only to see her staring at him wide-eyed, tears slowly filling those eyes he loved so much...

Before he could even understand what had happened, she pushed away the chair forcefully making it fall backwards and ran out of the door just before he heard a tiny sob.

"Tonks-" He tried but to no avail, she had already left. Greatly puzzled, troubled and worried, he turned to others for answers, only to see them staring at him with contempt.

Bill's chair scraped against the floor as he stood, glaring at him, cracking his knuckles. "Give me one reason why I shouldn't punch you right now?" He asked in a tone that he barely associated with Bill Weasley.

"What the hell are you talking about? What's going on?" He asked, doing nothing to hide his puzzlement.

"Remus-" Hermione interjected, conjuring a mirror and passing it to him. "-look for yourself."

He hesitantly grabbed the mirror wondering what he was supposed to see when he gasped at his own reflection.

His lips, neck and jaw was smudged with faint lipstick. Red lipstick which Ellie had been wearing. He briefly wondered from where the heck had she got the hold of a lipstick to put on, but dismissed it immediately because right now his main concern was the glaring red faced and red headed Weasleys.

He understood what it looked like- him having lipstick marks when the only person who could ever give him such marks had been sitting with them while he obviously that been out with other woman...

"It's not what it looks like." He started quietly, thankfully no one interrupted. "She- She came on to me, she forced herself on me." Finished quietly not liking that he had to say all this in front of children.

He thought he saw everyone breathing a sigh of relief.

"Don't you people trust me at all?"

"We trust you, zat ees why we _asked_ you." Fleur said.

"Or else as soon as we saw _that _you would have been out of the door before you could have blinked."

"Bill, sit down." Arthur scolded his eldest.

"Thanks for the vote of confidence everyone." He muttered sarcastically.

"Don't be silly Remus." Molly said. "Tonks is like our daughter. She was out of her mind til the time you have been out, imagining every possible scenario... We were just looking out for her."

He sighed. "I should go after her."

"Yeah..." Bill agreed, sitting back down.

As he left the door for second time that day, he thought he heard Ron's voice floating through the doorway. "Why did Lupin had lipstick on him?"

* * *

"Tonks..."

He entered her flat, which had not been lived in for months and saw her sitting at the sofa. She wasn't crying but had her knees tucked under her, head lolled to the side on the back of sofa and was staring in the space. She barely reacted on his entrance.

He kneeled in front of her, taking her hands in his and winced at the coldness of her hands.

"It wasn't the way it looked like Dora..." She turned to look at him and he noticed she was looking at the place were those blasted lipstick marks had been. He'd had the sense to wipe them off even in his hurry.

"She..._she_ kissed me..." Her eyes flickered to his and he saw a tiny bit of hope there.

"And you?" She asked in a very low voice. "You didn't kiss her back?"

He shook his head. "No but I didn't push her either." He said because he wanted to keep everything clean and clear between them "Not because I liked it or something but because I wanted her to realize her mistake on her own. It's...hard on her."

"I am sorry I have been such a bitch about this. I understand she is your friend and you have a right to be concerned..."

"It's not your mistake its just...all of this is unsettling. I am happy that she is here but I don't want her to come between us."

"You...you don't...don't love her do you?"

"I love her like a friend, like I loved James, Sirius, Lily." He said plainly, no lies, no hidden meaning.

"Are you sure?"

He sighed and sat next to her, curving her body within his. "You see this." He picked up her left hand, pointed it to the ring that nestled there. "This- I never intended to tell you this, but now I think I probably should. I bought this ring from my own money, my _savings_ more like. When I can sometimes barely earn two galleons a month. I had saved this money probably ever since I was a child. I always knew somehow that I would be poor, so I saved money and had vowed myself to spend it only in the time of _true_ need. When I had to get a ring for you, it never even crossed my mind to ask my father for my mother's ring. Rather I used my savings, without giving it an ounce of thought. I haven't regretted it, not even for a second because you are what matters to me the most. The only person I have ever spent my money on is myself and that too aggregate of that amount is lesser than this..."

"I-I am so sorry Remus you shouldn't have-"

"Hush. I am not telling you this to make you feel guilty. Money means a lot to a werewolf than it would to any other person. It is a means to survival. But don't you see, my means to survival is _you?_ If I were to die due to hunger tomorrow, I still won't regret it."

She kissed his hand tearfully. "You gave her your mother's necklace."

"It was her birthday and I didn't want to spend my savings. I had just graduated and my mother wanted to give me a graduation gift. So I asked her the necklace instead. Giving her the necklace definitely was due to sentimental reasons, I won't give just _anybody_ my mother's jewellery but it was also due to my economic condition... What I meant was that things I do for _you _never in my wildest dream, I would think to do for anyone else."

"You never resisted being in a relationship with her?"

"As I said, things I can do for you...I believe only the love in its truest and purest form could prompt one to be so selfless that they can even let go of their love. I was selfish in her case, but I loved you enough to push you away for your own good. Does this makes sense?"

"A bit..."

He kissed corner of her mouth. "I love you and only _you_."

"Make love to me, Remus." she murmured near his cheeks.

He leaned forward and captured her lips in a soft kiss. All this had left his mind reeling and only Dora's arm could sooth him. As his hand brushed her back he left her cringing the tiniest bit.

"You didn't heal it did you?" He asked softly urging her to look in his eyes.

She shook her head. "I wanted to feel something beside _envy_..."

"Oh Dora..." He sighed at her insecurity, gently picked her up in his arms and took her to her bedroom, placing her lightly on the made bed.

"Tell me about it. Tell me how you felt. I want to know everything." He inquired as his hands sought her shirt buttons. He was glad she was wearing a shirt. There was something too intimate about unbuttoning them personally.

"When she showed up and when I learned that-that you two had been together, I felt hurt that you never bothered to tell me." She started and he gently slid away her shirt from her shoulder, making her shiver.

He looked in her eyes, gently placing his fingers in the grooves of her ribs and brushing his thumbs gently on her nipples through her purple bra.

She sighed and he let his fingers drift to her back, caressing the skin above her strap gently. "I never told you because it never really crossed my mind to tell you and when it did, I never really thought it important. After all she was dead." He unhooked her bra and brushed it off her shoulders, making it fall in her lap.

She nodded though her cheeks were flushed. "And when you carried her that day..." She stared in space as he picked her shirt and bra, folding it gently and placing on a chair. "-I felt, as if I was a stranger to you." She whispered.

He leaned forward and placed a kiss on her shoulder. "Lie down on her stomach." And she obliged, placing her arms under her head.

"You can never be a stranger to me." He replied as he took off his own robes and shirt, opening the bedside drawer to take out the magical salve tube.

"But-But I felt so _separated_..." She said quietly as he brought his hands beneath her stomach to her jeans button, unhooking them and pushing it down her hips a bit for clearer access.

"I am sorry you felt that way love." He opened the tube and started applying the cool ointment on the scratches that were now almost one day old. To apply it slowly and gently was the key. He watched in fascination as it slowly vanished into her skin like magic, leaving the skin dry with just a pink tinge. She shivered from cold.

"And then you held her hand like that...like sometimes you do with me..." She said as he started on another scratch.

"Whatever has happened between us, Dora, she _is_ my friend. She was distressed and terrified. I do care for her..."

"I _know, _I am not inconsiderate but I just felt so jealous... I mean she is so beautiful."

"I can't deny. But I have eyes only for you. After all there are men better than me, yet you chose me."

"I was just so scared... that what if you still loved he? And then you spent whole night with her and next day I almost see her in your lap." He could hear anger and hurt in her voice. He stopped the healing process in between to place a kiss on her head.

"I am so sorry. I understand how it must have looked. But you also have to understand Dora. I am the only one who is there for her in this whole world. She doesn't know yet but Sirius, Dumbledore, her parents, her friends are all dead. I have to care for her too. Its my duty and you will have to forgive me if I hurt you in the process. But I can't just leave her alone. She needs me."

She sniffed as he started applying the salve again. "But trust me when I say I love you. You'll just have to trust me that no matter what I will remain loyal to you. Can you to that?"

She nodded slowly. "I don't want you to stay with me out of obligation."

"I can see where that thinking is coming from- staying with you out of obligation- things I did to you the past year, obviously raised doubts among you, and others too, about my love for you. But all I can say is that you'll have to trust me when I tell you that I really love you."

He said as he felt her nod and he let it drop. God knew they all needed a little time to adjust.

He screwed the bottle shut and looked at her now fully healed back.

"Better?"

"Absolutely."

As he leaned forward to place the tube back in the drawer, he couldn't resist and placed a kiss on side of her breast, which was currently squished in the mattress.

Her moan made him impatient as he got up from the bed and undressed completely, hastily.

"Turn around Dora."He ordered huskily and she turned on her back.

"How-How can you be so shy in front of others and so bold in front of me?" She asked as she crossed her arms to cover her chest as if it was the first time he was staring at them. "How come you can stand so proud, naked in all your glory?" Her well framed question almost made him smile despite his initial annoyance at her covering the wonderful view.

He made to stand directly in front of her, bending to take a hold of her jeans and pulling them down completely, but leaving her knickers on.

He picked up her one leg and kissed her sole. "That's because I trust you in ways I trust no one." He whispered against her sole, letting her feel his breath and her toes curled in response. He started from her ankle, placing lavish wet kisses until he reached her inner thing and went back to start from the ankle of the another leg all over again. For few moments no words were said and only sounds of their breathing could be heard. This time when he reached her inner thigh, he spread them apart and took in a deep breath inhaling her scent. She shivered in response.

"You smell so good..."

"Remus..." she moaned but he payed no heed. He placed his palms on her stomach to halt her wriggling and kissed all the available skin near the fabric but not once touching her where she wanted the most. As he darted his tongue to tickle the skin above her waistband, she groaned out his name.

"Stop torturing me..." She almost pleaded.

"I love hearing you beg." He answered as he went back to place a kiss direct above her wet heat, letting his lips linger a bit and letting her feel warmth of his lips through her knickers. She gave one of the loudest moan.

"Take it off." She growled a command. He chuckled, crawling forward and placing kisses on his path, until he reached her arms that were still covering her chest.

"Why?" He smirked.

"It's so stuffy, it is like I can't breathe." She saw him through half lidded eyes, wriggling despite he restraints.

He caught hold of her wrists in his each hand, forcing her arms open, making her gasp in surprise. He pinned her arms above her head in his one hand, letting his other hand free.

"I'll do as I shall please." He growled in her ear and she almost kicked him in her struggle to dominance.

He brought his mouth to her nipple, sucking and licking it hungrily, while his free hand rolled her other nipple between his fingers. She said something.

"What?" He asked, barely removing his mouth from her nipple to talk.

"Was _she _better than me in bed?" She asked breathlessly, her stomach rippling in effort.

He was so involved in her that he almost didn't caught on what the hell she was talking about. And when he did he almost decided to tease her, _almost_.

Hand still pinning hers above head and other still rolling her nipple, he came face to face with her. "I don't compare my women Tonks." He answered with fire.

She too looked at him fiercely. "Oh so she is your woman, huh?" something in her challenging tone made him shiver.

"_Was_." He tightened his hold on her wrists but not enough to hurt her.

He fused with mouth with hers, pressing her wrists in his hand and pinching her nipple. His kiss was passionate and her answering kiss was possessive.

When he pulled away, _oh god,_ she had never looked more beautiful... Eyes flashing with challenge, lips swollen with his kiss, hairs puffed, breathless and flushed...

A mere glance at her was making him throb with need.

"The things you do to me..." He whispered harshly against her jaw.

"I need to _know." _This time he could see she meant it and she was serious.

"I don't remember her." He half lied. Of course he _remembered_, but he didn't consider it worthy enough to remember _those_ times between them.

"Do you still remember her _that_ way?"

"Dora... While I am in the middle of making love to my bride-to-be, will you stop trying to turn me off by making me remember my ex?" He said truthfully but more so to assure her that for him, it was _only_ her and her.

"Does she really turns you off?" She looked astonished.

"Don't you trust me? Why do you keep doubting me?"

"Of course I trust you. But I am a woman, I'll always doubt you."

He chuckled and kissed her tenderly, freeing her wrists.

"Take my knickers off, it's hot in there." She whispered and he smirked.

Slowly he crawled back to her body, kissing her breasts and stomach in between, finally grabbing the offending item and freeing her of the confine, throwing it off on the bed.

He sat between her legs, grabbing her thighs and dragged her forward, throwing her calves behind his shoulder.

The knowledge of what he was about to do, knocked all breath out of her.

He kissed her knee, keeping an eye contact, daring her to look away. Slowly he moved forward and he could see her holding her breath. The moment his lips touched her flesh she exhaled, closing her eyes.

His tongue explored inside and out of her heat, flicking the little bud with tip of his tongue making her moan and writhe beneath him, while he kept his eyes locked on her flushed face.

Finally when he could feel her close, he ordered. "Look at me Dora."

Slowly she opened her eyes and locked with his eyes. He waited until he had her full attention and dived in. Using his tongue to enter her while bringing forward his fingers to rub her in right places without breaking the eye contact. He saw as her pupils dilated, her mouth opened in a silent scream, hands clutched the sheets desperately.

It was both, what he was doing and the _knowledge_ of what he was doing that made her come with a scream. Her whole body rippled as she jerked and he never once stopped his ministrations. It was after a long long time, that she finally stilled and went limp.

He tenderly placed her lower body on bed and crawled back. Now, that his lover was satisfied, he couldn't wait for his own gratification.

"My...I have never came that hard." She whispered.

"I want you."

She gathered all her strength to push him on his back. She straddled him and he watched her in fascination as she teased him.

"Don't make me wait." And surprisingly she didn't as she immediately lowered herself on him, taking in his full length. They both groaned at contact.

She threw her head back and started riding him with abandon and he nearly came looking at her; breasts jiggling, hairs bouncing, their bodies joined...it was too much.

He clutched her hips and made her still. Slowly, very slowly he pulled her away from him only to slam back into her at full speed. She screamed. He groaned.

He took all pleasure he could from her body, making her scream with each thrust. Finally when he was close, he sat with his back to headboard. She whimpered as he reached a place deeper in her. He brought her tensed body to his chest, kissed her clumsily on mouth and used all his strength to fuck her relentlessly. The way she dug her nails in his back, told him she was enjoying as much.

Out of no where, a thought popped into his head. He had just broken a woman's heart; woman whom he had loved for a long time, who also happened to be his best friend, he had left her in a lonely shed to deal with all the harsh realities all alone and yet here he was fucking- no _making love_- to his lover and enjoying it as well.

Image of Ellie's tear tracked face came to his mind and his stomach gnawed with guilt. But Dora chose exact same time to increase their pace, and all thoughts of guilt left his mind. All he felt was a delirious want in pit of his stomach. Just as she clenched around him, he lost control and came loud and hard. She bit his shoulder, muffling her scream and though he was tempted to do so too, he buried his face in her neck and growled like the wolf he was, shooting deep in her, making her convulse all over again which triggered him further.

Finally when it was over, he thought he never had felt so exhausted in his life. He slumped in bed, taking Tonks with him, barely managing the energy to clean the mess with his wand, covering them with sheets. He still felt Tonks shuddering in aftermath.

He kissed her forehead. "_Oh love..._" His mouth said._ I am sorry Ellie,_ his mind said.

"You are amazing Remus..." She said sleepily.

"Not more than you my sweetheart." He smiled.

"Give me an hour nap and I am ready for a second round."

In return he chuckled, taking comfort in her familiar warmth. He'll deal with the guilt later.


	6. Treachery

They arrived next day to the Burrow, Remus in the front with Tonks at his heels. No one asked them why they were absent from Burrow for whole day yesterday, and by no one he meant Molly.

"Good morning Molly." He greeted politely. She seemed to be busy in preparing breakfast.

"Remus, Tonks, you both are on perfect time. You'll just have to wait for few more minutes."

"That's fine by us Molly, actually," He hesitated and looked over to Tonks ", I was wondering if I could have a chat with Ellie; she still in Percy's room?"

Smile on Molly slipped away and a concerned look shadowed her face. "Yes, yes she's there."

He looked over to Tonks again who squeezed his hand and gave him an encouraging smile. "I'll be here helping Molly." At Molly's alarmed expression, she amended. "And by help I mean sitting here quietly in the corner." She chuckled.

He gave her a smile, one last squeeze to her hand and slipped past the kitchen to the stairs.

He saw Ellie sitting in the tiny room on the edge of the bed, looking over the window, in fresh but burrowed robes. She looked relatively lost.

He knocked. "Mind if I come in?" He asked gently.

She looked over and a surprised expression came to her face which was immediately replaced by a sad one. "Since when do you have to ask?" She said softly.

He entered and after a moment's hesitation, seated himself beside her.

"How are you?"

"I am coping... it will take some time..." She trailed off, and looked away, her silky brown hairs covering her face.

She was behaving particularly calm, even if sad, in comparison to yesterday. May be a day's thinking had helped her somewhat.

"I just want to tell you that I know things have changed but I am there for you."

She looked at him, her green eyes shining with brightness. She very lightly placed her palm on his cheek and smiled weakly. "Ever the helper."

"It's not about helping," His both hands took hold of her hand on his cheek "it's about you. You mean a lot to me you know that don't you?"

She nodded lightly and sniffed. He wondered if him saying these things to her was helping her or was it reopening her barely healed wounds? After all he will be there for her but she knew now that only as a friend, a best friend.

"It's just that," She took a deep breath to compose herself and looked at their joined hands, "Yesterday, after- after I came back here, you-you had left... and N- your _fiance_ had left too... no one mentioned you both the whole day and I knew obviously you both were together. Last- last night when you didn't return, I-I just couldn't get it out of my head that you were with someone else... someone who has more right on you now, right on you the way I _used _to have... I just couldn't get past the feeling as if- as if I was being cheated upon."

He squeezed his eyes shut and his other arm unwittingly went round her shoulder, pulling her closer. As she rested her head on his shoulder, he wondered why did he felt so guilty even though he knew it wasn't his fault.

"If I make you uncomfortable, if you feel you can't be around me please tell me, El." He whispered in her hairs, hoping to ease her pain.

She shook her head. "Please... I know- I mean... just- just be with me...in you capacity. I want you in my life in whatever way possible. Merlin's beard it's been sixteen years, I feel old."

She chuckled tearfully and he joined. "There are so many things you need to know Ellie, I just don't know if it's the right time."

"Do me a favor Remus...one bad news at a time..." She said jokingly enough into his shoulder but he recognized the truth in her voice.

He kissed her head. "Just- whatever you need me for, tell me."

She nodded and for a moment, they let silence engulf them as he gently rocked her.

"Remus... How's- how's Harry? Have you met him?" She asked fearfully as if didn't know what to expect in answer.

"Oh, he's- Of course I have met him. He'll be coming here soon and you'll be able to see him from your own eyes... Oh Ellie, he's splitting image of James just with-"

"-Lily's eyes." She finished. "How did you coped Remus? I mean for me it's been only a little more than one week since they passed away and I miss them so much- does, does this pain go away with time? How did you cope?"

"It won't go away Ellie but it will reduce to a dull ache. It won't hurt to remember them or look at their pictures. As for coping...well I got used to it and then...then I met few precious people along in my life who made worth it."

"Like Nymphadora." She said quietly.

"Don't let her hear you saying her first name, she hates it and goes by Tonks. And not only Tonks but Molly, Arthur in fact whole Weasley family... But I'll help you cope, in whatever way I can." He promised.

She let her arm slip to his waist and snuggled closer. "I want to go home Remus...even if I don't know where my home is now...I feel like I am imposing on Weasleys, I mean I barely know them... I feel so out of place."

"Trust me Ellie this family is the most generous one you'll ever meet. They are very kind and accepting. And we'll discuss your living arrangement once you settle down-"

He was interrupted by a knock on the door and they both looked up.

Tonks stood there with an awkward and hesitant smile on her face, holding a tray in her hand with two cups of what looked like tea.

"I um- hope not interrupting," She entered a little, balancing the tray very carefully in her hands. "Molly said you- haven't had anything to eat yet, so she sent me with these." She set down the tray on the small bedside table which contained a small plate of cookies too.

"Ny- um Tonks." Ellie stood and looked at her carefully. "I wanted to apologize for my yesterday's behaviour, it was uncalled for. You too Remus, I am sorry to you too." She looked ashamed.

He hastily stood, shaking his head but Tonks beat him to it. "Don't worry Ellie. I understand...deep down in my heart I do understand how shocking it must have been."

He looked lovingly at Tonks, knowing that not only was she considerate but also she was trying for his sake.

"Tonks is right Ellie. Just forget it." He assured her and she nodded.

"Remus, can I have a minute?" Tonks requested.

"Sure," He said and then looked at Ellie. "Just give me a minute."

He avoided holding hands with Tonks in front of Ellie but as soon as they reached behind the doorway, he took hold of her hand. "What is it?"

"I need to leave for work." She said apologetically.

"So soon?"

"Yeah, Kingsley owled in. Listen I will be back in late evening, so well, don't wait...and I wanted to say I love you." She smiled sweetly.

He leaned down and placed a lingering kiss on her lips. "I love you too Dora. Be careful." He whispered past her lips.

She gave him one last chaste kiss on his lips and bounced her way to downstairs. He smiled as her form disappeared and returned back to the room to see Ellie sipping her tea and nibbling on a cookie.

"Come on. Your tea is getting cold."

He felt remotely light-hearted as he seated himself this time in front of Ellie and picked up his cup of tea. Tonks was trying to accommodate with Ellie and on the other hand he did not feel as if he was betraying her by hiding truth from Ellie. Now as everything was out in the open, he was sure that if given time, things will settle.

* * *

Tonks almost reached the doorway, donning her travelling cloak when she realized that she had forgotten her wand. Huffing at her own forgetfulness, she made way back to Percy's- now Ellie's room. She didn't like interrupting them again and again as they had lot to talk about and neither did she want to give them impression that she was doing it deliberately.

Finally when she reached the room, the ongoing scene knocked all breath from her lungs.

They both were lying horizontally on bed; and they weren't just having a lie in but in fact Remus was on top of Ellie. And what they were doing, what she _saw _made her want to go blind.

They were kissing, fiercely. With passion. And this time it didn't looked like that Ellie had forced herself on Remus at all. In fact it looked exactly as if Remus had initiated the kiss and was quite enjoying it as he moaned...

Feeling sicker with every second, tears blinding her eyes, she couldn't take it anymore. She stumbled, tripped on her feet as she turned, banging the door further in to the wall, breaking the two of them. But she paid no heed. She somehow toppled and slipped her way past down the stairs. Finally her knees gave in and she sank down the floor.

Someone was calling her name, but she couldn't really listen anything past pounding of blood in her ears. She might have been shaking or sobbing, she was't aware of her own body.

All she knew that she was unable to breathe and _that_ image kept repeating itself in front of her eyes. She felt people around her but she as laid down completely on the floor, blackness caved in and she knew no more.

* * *

"Dora. Dora wake up." Someone was calling her, she realized as she felt water being sprayed on her face in tiny droplets. She stirred and blinked, trying to find the will to completely wake up.

Finally she opened her eyes completely peering at the face she loved the most. He looked concerned...

Suddenly with speed of lightning, everything came back rushing to her and she jerked her hand away from his grasp. "Stay away from me." She growled as she got off the sofa she was lying on, dimly noticing Molly, Arthur, Bill and twins around her.

"Dora wait! It was not what it-"

"-looked like?" She snarled. "She forced herself on you again? Because I am not _blind_ Remus. I might have been blind in your love but not now, not anymore. I hate you." She spat with as much as viciousness she could muster. She felt pathetic for fainting and felt terrible due to ache in her heart.

Remus winced at her hateful words.

Just as she got up on her shaky legs, on of the twins pushed her down on the sofa. "Let me go." She screamed like a injured lioness.

"Listen Tonks, you need to hear out. Lupin here has done nothing-" Fred started.

"-He wasn't knowing what he was doing." George said.

"Didn't know what he was doing? Didn't know that he was kissing his sixteen years old ex when he was about to get married with other woman? Didn't know that he was cheating on me? Didn't know that he was breaking my heart?" She had started with screaming but slowly all fight left her and she ended with a shake in her voice, feeling hot tears slipping her cheeks.

"Do you really trust me so little? Don't you trust my devotion for you?" He was kneeling in front of her looking with pained blue eyes as if it was hurting him as much as it was hurting her.

"Wilkins used a love potion Tonks. After all this hustle bustle, George told me that the seal of our newly arrived package of Love potion was broken." Fred stated grimly, no sign of his earlier self.

"And obviously no one else had touched it even. After we heard this- Lupin kissing Wilkins- we put two and two together-"

"-we immediately gave Lupin the antidote; and he realized what had happened."

Tonks felt as if she could faint with relief all over again. Then she felt onslaught of emotions: She felt weak, ashamed, guilty and angry. She looked fearfully at Remus.

"I am so sorry..." she trailed off not knowing what she could say to take away the hurtful words she had uttered.

"I understand Tonks... what it must have looked like... frankly I am disgusted too at myself."

"But you were under the effect of potion."

"It didn't ease my guilt and pain when I saw you lying unconscious, apparently after thinking that I cheated on you." He swallowed past the lump.

She felt heat prickling her cheeks. She had acted so weakly and she was an _Auror_.

"No need to be ashamed dear," Molly's soothing voice reached her ears. "We all often tend to act rashly when it comes to our loved ones."

Tonks fisted her robes angrily and clenched her jaws. "When did she gave you the potion?" She asked in deadly whisper as she looked at no one in particular. Rage had blinded her.

"The tea you brought... I think the time we slipped out of room." He answered looking angry too.

"Where is she?" She asked with calmness she didn't feel.

"Hiding her face in her room." Molly said stiffly.

"I think a little girl to girl chat is in order." She muttered angrily and got up.

"Tonks wait-"

"No Remus!" She whirled around. "She needs to know, needs to know consequences of messing with my heart."

"I am not trying to stop you. All I am saying I will tag along too. It concerns me as well Dora as she compelled me- me to betray you." He said fiercely. She nodded.

And with that the couple left the drawing room of Burrow, leaving behind the anxious Weasleys.

* * *

_I loved all the feedback I have got so far. Thanks a lot!_


	7. Forbidden

Ellie was no coward even if she had been a Ravenclaw. But she had been never so scared in her life. Mostly, she was just plain disgusted over herself. She had never thought that there would come a time that she would stoop so low, that she would get so desperate that she would even adopt some bitchy tactic.

How had she been so stupid? Had she really thought that bewitching Remus with some love potion will help her get his love? Did she even want his fake love, a love forced by some magic? Obviously not…

But god she had been so desperate and now she was regretting it. She had acted without a thought and now she dreaded what will happen. Even if she had been able to delude herself for few moments that all was fine, it hadn't been a permanent solution.

She therefore sat on the corner of the bed, her face already red with embarrassment even though she hadn't even faced anyone yet; looking miserably at the door, expecting it to burst open…

She had never been scared of a woman, in fact she hardly ever feared any human only for the sole reason that she always knew that she had done no wrong, that she had never hurt anybody intentionally… but this time she was wrong. She had hurt someone, in fact both of them and had tried to deceive them even if she had known all along that it will all come to this...

The door burst open with a bang and even if she had been expecting it, she jumped. In came Tonks and she had barely ever seen a woman looking so fierce. She was pale, her hairs deep crimson flowing past her shoulders and her murderous eyes searching for her, when locked with her fearful ones, became even more murderous if possible.

For a moment both of them were unable to speak. Tonks due to anger while Ellie due to fear, already internally cringing at the hateful words that would follow, at the names she would be called…

She saw a movement at the door and looked over Tonks' shoulder to see Remus entering as if treading carefully on a path of explosives. He looked grim and… disappointed.

But when he came to stand behind Tonks, as if supporting her, reassuring her of his presence, she suddenly felt as if they were ganging up on her.

"Ellie Wilkins." Tonks growling and hateful voice brought her attention to her. She looked so angry that now her pale was red and she could see a nerve jumping in her neck. "Merlin knows that I have tried to adjust with you and now let me tell you something."

Tonks took a deep breath and she saw Remus resting his hand lightly on her elbow but not making eye contact with either of them.

"As a human being, I sympathize with you about what happened to you. As one of the victim of dark arts myself I hate those people already who did this to you. And as an Order member and an Auror, I am going to do everything in my being to catch them and bring justice to you. _BUT…_but as a woman who has struggled to reach to _this_ level to be with the man she loves, who had fought for her love, Merlin help me, I won't hesitate to _destroy_ you the next time you lay eyes on _my man_."

Silence.

God that hurt deeper than she thought… she looked away due to shame and also so that they couldn't see the hurt in her eyes… _my man_…

It was the reality though…

"And," Tonks spoke again. "The only reason I am even thinking of sparing you this time is that you mean a lot to _my fiancé, even if as a good friend!"_

For next few minutes all the room was filled with was Tonks' labored breathing, her own quiet sniffles.

"Why?" Remus' voice entered her ears. He spoke so softly and it was not anger but pure disappointment radiating from him that made her even loathe herself for bringing all up to this…

"Yes, why indeed?" Tonks spoke, though loudly yet a little calmly. "Did you really think that spiking his tea, which _incidentally _I brought to you as a start for making amends, with love potion would really make you happy? Sorry, but I never would have thought Remus' any friend to be so stupid."

"I GOT DESPERATE." She finally lost it. She stood shakily on the floor, facing them. "I got desperate." She repeated again but softly this time. "What I am going through." She flailed her arms meaninglessly as if to explain merely by some hand gestures what she was feeling inside. "You people can never understand. I just- just wanted something…concrete to lean on…to feel loved and _not as a friend_! I wake up one day and whoosh! Magic! Everyone I ever loved is gone or dead. My parents, Remus, they are dead aren't they?" She quietly asked somewhere deep down she knew the answer.

When he looked away, it confirmed her fears but that didn't make it easy just because she had expected so. Fat tears rolled off her eyes thinking of how her parents must have felt when she had apparently gone missing. "My mother had been ill when I was abducted…and I always knew that my father won't survive much without my mother…it was only a matter of time…yesterday when I had time to mull things over, I realized it… I don't know where my brothers and sisters are. Apparently, you-know-who is back and wrecking havoc more than ever, and managed to get Dumbledore killed even…" She said in a defeated tone. She had overheard about Dumbledore's death and had figured out rest herself. "I know what I did was wrong, was unforgiveable, and I won't ask for forgiveness because I know I don't deserve it. But as I said, I just got desperate. I wanted to feel something else besides this darkness that had engulfed me…" She looked miserably at the pair of them with watering eyes, first time getting this in her head that they really were together.

Remus was looking at her with pitiful eyes and was shaking his head ruefully. She hated pity.

"I won't trouble you anymore. I am stable now, and I will leave today itself. There must be someone from my past willing to help me."

She let her words linger as she stared at the floor, deep down wanting Remus to reject her decision vehemently, but none came. She had really spoiled it… had messed everything up…

"There's no need for that." It was Tonks who spoke and she looked at her, shocked, but she wasn't looking at her. "For time being you stay here. Until we confirm that it is indeed safe out there for you. Then we can contact one of your family members and you can take that from there."

She hated to admit it but it appeared that Tonks was really a good person and she could see why had Remus fallen in love with her. But that didn't soothe her pain not really… it would have been easier to get back Remus only if Tonks would have been some spoiled brat, whiny and arrogant.

And when Remus looked at Tonks with adoration in his eyes, it even stung harder in Ellie's stomach.

Once upon a time that look had been only for her.

He squeezed Tonks' shoulder and then looked at Ellie for first time. "She's right."

That's it? All he had to say was that _she's right_? Had he really decided that she was a lost cause now?

She got up on her feet again, not realizing when she had sat down, feeling ashamed all over again. It would have been easier to ignore her mistake only if they had been equally mean. But they were being _helpful_. Especially _her_. Nymphadora Tonks… soon to be Nymphadora Lupin… that thought bristled all her being at once…

No matter how good a person Tonks was, it was going to be very hard for her to actually like her.

When she said nothing, Tonks turned around made to go from the room but Remus seized her movement by grabbing her elbow.

Tonks apparently must have looked confused as Remus turned her gently to face Ellie and then looked at her.

"Ellie, I think you need to apologize to Nymhadora. What you did had hurt her more than it would have ever hurt me, and that's something I won't stand for, even from the people who mean so much to me. You forced me to cheat on her, something which I consider to be most unrighteous."

She could barely believe his words though why it surprised her she didn't know. Ever since she had come back, he had done everything to ensure that nothing would hurt _Tonks_.

She gaped at him but Tonks beat her to it.

"There's no need for it Remus. She said sorry this morning too, and see what followed _that_."

"No, No Tonks, I am wrong here. If possible then do forgive me please. I deserve all the hatred for my act but please also try to understand my state of mind. I am not saying what I did was right, but may be understanding me might help you forgiving me too." She said with sincerity. Tonks stared at her for few seconds and then walked out of the room without saying another word.

Why had she hesitated in apologizing, when minutes ago she was ready to beg for forgiveness, ready to redeem her position in their eyes, not much in front of Tonks but mostly for Remus. Then she realized she had hesitated because Remus had given other woman priority, had kept other woman first instead of her. Which wasn't new, not really, ever since she had come back…

"Remus…" She whispered now that room was empty, desperate for him to understand. Because his opinion meant the world to her.

But he never gave her a chance to talk. He simply raised his hand to halt her and walked away just like Tonks without another word…

She fell down on the bed with exhaustion. She wanted to curl and sleep and never wake up.

It was so hard to believe that Remus didn't love her anymore. But the truth was sixteen years have passed. It might be difficult to believe but it was the truth…

Or was it?

Was there no way to rekindle his love for her?

Sure, Tonks was a young and charming woman, perfect ideal for this generation but deep down did Remus really want someone of this generation? Wouldn't he prefer someone of his own age?

Moreover she was his first love… and they said that first love never dies…

But she wasn't going to play dirty, no. Playing dirty tactics wasn't her forte nor was she that kind of woman.

If only she could make her way slowly and steadily back into Remus' life, maybe there was a chance that he could see once again what he had with her, their past had been glorious after all and they had went through too much together… maybe she could relight his love for her? She had barged so suddenly into his life again that of course he was having problem adjusting and every human had aversion to sudden changes but only if she can be herself, show him that how much he meant to her and how he was happier with her maybe there was a chance. After all he they had known each other since they were eleven and he had loved for years… how can Tonks compete to that? They had barely known each there for two years…

Yes, all was not lost, Ellie decided. And with that a little hope sparked in her heart. All she had to show Remus was that she was the same woman, his first love, his first preference and he might decide to get back with her only if he realized that his love hadn't died after all, that is, if this really was the case…

But she won't force him, no, that was out of question. She wanted his love for _real._

Tonks had said that she was supposed to be away from _her man_. But now time had come to see who really was _Remus' woman_.

She was sorry that Tonks had to suffer in all this, after all this wasn't her fault. But then it wasn't Ellie's fault either.

At the end it would be Remus' choice to make.

And may the best woman win.

* * *

Thank you everyone for reviews!


	8. Finesse

Ellie sat outside the Burrow, hidden in green bushes not having any desire to be seen. Two whole days have passed since that love potion incident and still she had difficulty facing the crowd. So here she sat, near yet far from everyone, in Fleur's burrowed clothes, occasionally hearing children' playful shrieks and adults' murmur from the drawing room inside as the bushes she was hiding in was in front of the living room's window.

"What are you doing?" Her heart almost jumped out of her chest at hearing Remus's voice. Thinking she had been caught, she looked around and noticed that he wasn't there. And also she suddenly remembered, that Remus wasn't talking to her; not more than occasional 'hello' and 'bye'.

She carefully peered through the bushes and her suspicions were confirmed. It hadn't been her he had addressed to but Tonks. As Tonks was currently standing facing the window, chopping vegetables on the window sill. Remus who stood behind her was observing in amusement.

Ellie groaned in frustration. She had come out here for a little peace not to witness their intimate moments. But she couldn't look away. It was like a car wreck; her heart was wrenching as she looked at the pair of them yet was compelled to look.

"Slicing the carrots." Tonks smiled in amusement, not looking up from her work.

"That I can see, but why?" He neared her further, closing any distance between them, while Ellie could hear Molly, Bill, Fleur and Arthur in the background.

"I am learning to master my household skills and these are the beginning steps. You see, I asked Molly to let me help-"

"-And she gave you _this_ to humor you?" He finished her sentence which earned him a slap on his arm, which now Ellie noticed were placed on either side of Tonks on the window sill, trapping her in her place.

Remus propped his chin on Tonks' shoulder and Ellie felt as if someone had thrown a stone on her heart. She told herself to look away, knowing how badly it was hurting her but she couldn't. She wanted to see from her own eyes how much were they in love really.

"No, she told me that one can master the spells only when they know to do it by hand. So she gave me these so that I can understand the basics of vegetable cutting." Tonks replied determined to prove herself. The amount of effort she was putting in such a minor task was laughable. By now Ellie would have managed to cook half of the meal.

"You know you don't need to learn all this, love." He kissed her jaw, brushing his hand on her arm in a soothing way.

"But I want to for _you. _I want to be capable enough so that when you wake up in the morning I can at least get you a cup of tea in bed, _without_ tripping, so that when you are tired on full moons, you can rest without worrying about dinner." She said wistfully.

Remus encircled her waist with his arms burying his nose in her hairs and inhaling slowly. "I'd rather wake up next to _you_ in morning, naked as the day you were born." He murmured softly and Ellie wished he would have said it quiet enough so that she didn't have to hear _that_.

Tonks blushed, ducking her head further. "Remus we are at Burrow, between our friends, behave yourself." She scolded him and to Ellie it appeared, halfheartedly.

"So, I am sure our friends know a thing or two about love and _making love_..." he trailed off suggestively and Ellie remembered tearfully how it used to be her back in those days, standing behind him and talking dirty.

"Uh... Remus?" As Hermione came into Ellie's focus they both jumped apart guiltily.

"Yes, Hermione." Tonks composed herself first and asked the now red faced girl.

"Mrs Weasley sent pumpkin juices for you..." She trailed off, almost dumping the glasses on the window sill, hurrying away as fast as possible.

"See, you scared the girl..." Tonks glared at him.

"Ah... well, it happens..." Remus replied timidly as the color faded from his cheeks.

He picked up his drink and gulped down all at once.

"Remus..."

"What?"

"You are not supposed to drink it like that. Its hot these days, you are supposed to drink it slowly and savor each drop of it, letting the taste linger in your mouth..." Tonks shook her head at him taking her place at the sill once again.

"Are you sure you are talking about the pumpkin juice..." He whispered in her ear.

"Merlin Remus what has gotten into you?" She whispered back incredulously.

"You my love." He said and kissed corner of her mouth while Tonks tried hard to concentrate on the vegetables.

Remus picked up an ice cube from the empty tumbler, trailing tantalizingly on Tonks's arm from behind as she shivered and Ellie felt like puking.

"You are playing with fire Remus, you are right in the middle of the living room..."

"What's life without little fire..."

He kept rubbing it on her arms until they completely melted on her skin.

"You haven't spent last two nights with me and I miss you." He spoke tenderly while picking up another ice cube.

"I know love and I am sorry... night shifts you know..." her breath hitched as he stroked her neck with the new ice cube.

"Are you free tonight?" He asked while licking away the melted drops off her neck.

"Yes..." She sighed in bliss, forgetting she had a knife in her hand and Ellie wished that she would poke it to either of them so this could end. "I'll be here at the burrow early in the evening..."

"Then tonight you are mine." He said _possessively._

_Oh, I will see to it..._

He pressed the now minuscule cube in the hollow of her throat, allowing it to melt there completely.

He picked another cube and Ellie sighed in frustration. Exactly how many ice cubes Molly had put in that glass?

"Remus you are torturing me..." Tonks almost whined.

"That's the general idea my love." This time he caressed her lips lightly with the cube, making her gasp a little and further rubbed the cube on neckline of her ridiculous top. "Now, I want you to imagine that this little piece of ice are my fingers..." Tonks had completely let go of herself. She was leaning against his chest with eyes closed as she hummed...

Remus let the ice cube drop completely into her cleavage.

"Remus!" Tonks gasped, opening her eyes trying to wriggle.

"Hush Dora." He cooed to her and keeping her in the place. _Cooed_._._. and dropped one more ice cube in her top. Her green top became darker as it got wet from inside.

"You know I don't know how something so cold is making me so hot and bothered." She said as if she was having difficulty in breathing. "I want you right now; I can't wait for the evening."

Remus squeezed her sides with his hands and said, "Meet me in the back garden. Let's put that broomstick shed to some constructive use."

"In fifteen minutes?" She confirmed.

"Sooner if you can." And he was gone, a man with a purpose. Really were they horny all the time? Is that how their relationship is going?

She saw Tonks composing herself and Ellie took that time to compose herself too. She wiped her tears away and took a deep breath, standing up. It was time to do something.

"Remus!" Ellie had taken her position at the doorway and called out to him as soon as he came out. As expected he didn't looked flustered given from where he was coming from and where he was going. He was always calm and collected.

"Ellie." He nodded curtly at her, immediately distancing himself and losing his playful aura.

"Remus..." She bit her lip. "For how long will you be angry at me? At school you couldn't survive without talking to me for more than twenty four hours..."

"This isn't school... and at school, you weren't like this either..."

"I am sorry Remus, and you know it. You know I am sorry and how guilty I feel. After all you know me the best."

"I don't think I do anymore." He sighed, stuffing his hands in his pockets and looking away.

"Please don't say that Remus." She felt tears coming unbidden. "Please forgive me."

He looked at her and stared at her for a long time if judging if she really was being sincere.

"Okay. I won't say it's alright because it wasn't. But I am willing to look past it. You _are_ my best friend after all." He took his hand and patted her shoulder, smiling sincerely which made Ellie smile too.

"Are you going somewhere?" She asked innocently.

"Er..." He scratched back of his head. "I have some errands to run."

"So I'll see you in the evening? Remus I have a request to make..."

He hesitated, opening and closing his mouth. "Sure." he said finally.

"I want to visit the places I have been to before, it might trigger some memories. And I want to visit my old family home, today if possible. We can visit the other places later. Please Remus it's important to me. I want to be somewhere I can relate to..."

"Ellie... no one lives there..."

"I guessed as much but still I want to see it. And you are the only one who could take me. I understand I am burdening you with my problems..." She trailed off looking deeply in his eyes.

"Don't be silly Ellie. I'll take you okay?" He asked ducking his head to look in to her eyes.

"Okay." She beamed widely. "But..."

"But?" He frowned and looked back at the door. Now he looked in a hurry.

"I don't think you should tell Tonks...yet." She said though she had no idea how he would take it.

He whipped his head towards her. "Tell what?"

"About-about our visits."

"She won't have any problem believe me."

"Remus I am not saying that she won't understand. From what I have gathered, it seems to me that she is a very mature person. But I feel it might _hurt_ her knowing you are spending time with me all alone." She emphasized on 'hurt' knowing it was a weak spot for Remus.

"I can explain it to her, she'll know what all this is about."

"Remus, I am a woman okay? And I can understand how a woman feels about... about situation as these. I have caused enough problem in your relationship as it is, I wouldn't be able to forgive myself if I'll be the cause of any further problems between you two. Remus I am not forcing you, at the end it's your decision to make. But as I said, I know a thing or two about women... being one myself..." She trailed off. This hadn't been initially what she had thought but she couldn't help but improvise. As she told him she was not forcing him to lie, it was totally up to him if he chose to lie. If he did so, it wasn't her fault.

He looked at the ground, scuffing his feet in a semi circle. "I-I'll think about it." He looked up and gave her an uncomfortable smile.

"So are we in for this evening? I know we could have gone later in afternoon but I promised Molly to help in the cooking. She's being so sweet to me, I think it's the least I could do."

"Sure." He sighed. "Be ready. And are you taking your potions regularly?"

"Yes." She smiled. "See you, Bye."

"Bye, Ellie." And with that he turned away towards the broom shed. She was thankful that they hadn't run into Tonks or else it would have spoiled all her plan.

With her work done, she ran back to her room as quietly as possible where she would try to ignore what Remus and Tonks were indulging in, in that moment in that damned broom shed. She had important things to think about after all.


	9. Lingering Hope

They apparated in a field near Ellie's family's home. It was more like a bungalow, mainly because she had a huge family and Remus always used to say that they lived in the middle of no where. All that surrounded them was fields but the view was beautiful nevertheless. There was also a stream in the walking distance which had been a huge witness of many romantic endeavors including that of Remus and Ellie and James and Lily.

"Here we are. Are you ready?" Remus asked lighting his wand. He had fulfilled his promise and had sneaked into her room to apparate her here. The way he had been so sneaky, made Ellie suspicious that he indeed had said nothing to Tonks. It was past sunset, the last rays of sun were vanishing giving way to darkness. Their only source of light was his wand. To many people it might have seemed creepy but to her it had never seemed more romantic.

"I think so. But then for you it might be a long time but for me it was only in the past month that I visited here." She said looking carefully in to his eyes. No matter how she had made him come, she didn't want him to feel edgy and burdened all the time with her. "Is that stream still here?" She asked abruptly.

Remus colored a bit. "Er... Yes, Where will it go?" He replied, not looking at her deliberately. Ellie almost hid a smile. Sure she had reminded him of the things they had done there...

"Who knows? A lot can happen in sixteen years. Anyways lets go." She moved ahead when his voice stopped him.

"Ellie, I got this for you."

She turned around to see him holding out a wand in front of him, one which wasn't his.

"Oh Merlin!" She gasped. "You got me a new one?" She said in awe taking the thin piece of wood in her hand and feeling the magic run through.

"I know you should have bought your wand by yourself, but I wasn't sure if it was safe for you. So I got it instead. It's almost same as your old one. Dragon heartstring."

"You remembered my wand's core?" She looked up, moving forward and peering in his eyes with affection.

"Just because I haven't seen you in sixteen years doesn't have to mean I forgot everything about you. I still know you fairly well."

"I am so glad to have you Remus." She whispered, blushing slightly. "Lumos." She lit up her wand.

"And I am glad to have you back. Lets move." He placed his hand on small of her back to urge her forward and the little movement fluttered Ellie's insides.

As they moved, she decided to confirm her suspicions. "Did you- did you tell Tonks about this visit?" She asked tentatively looking sideways to gauge his reaction.

He sighed. "No. I don't like it, but I think you are right. I don't want to worry her more. She's- she's a bit shaken after that potion incident. She doesn't shows but I know it. I thought for the time being, I shall conceal my visits with you from her. As I said, I don't like it, lying to her; I just left her a note saying that I had some Order work to do. But I don't intend on lying to her forever. When the time will be right, I will tell her myself." He said while looking ahead.

_Oh, but right time would never come. You have lied to her and now to hide your one lie you'll have to tell more lies. Moreover this isn't the only outing you'll be having with me..._

"I am sorry Remus..." she said sincerely. She didn't like putting him in this situation.

"Don't be. It's not your fault. You are important to me and Tonks knows this. I am sure she'll understand."

They reached the bungalow and Ellie gaped in sheer surprise. "This looks exactly the _same_. I was prepared for the change but looking at this it feels I am back to old times." She exclaimed.

He gave her a grim smile. "You might be a little surprised to see it from inside. Not because it had changed much but because its... empty and dark." He looked sympathetic. "And your home was-"

"Never empty... yeah... it was a bit like Burrow, just bigger but always a scene of chaos." She looked down, not sure anymore if she really wanted to the see the place from inside which held so many memories for her but not them with whom she had shared those memories.

"Hey..." She felt Remus encircle her shoulder and for a moment she let her head fall in the crook of his neck. "I am with you, don't worry. And Ellie, this is necessary. You can't run from this forever." He spoke in her hair, lightly rubbing her arm.

She nodded weakly, straightening herself. But before she could wipe her few tears that have leaked her eyes, she felt his thumbs brushing them away and placing a feather light kiss on her forehead.

"Someday Remus, you are going to tell me everything about my siblings. Where are they, what they are doing. And if you think its safe, I would like to see them."

He nodded. "Let's go in."

They ventured the house; as big it was it took a lot of time to see the whole place but she didn't want to miss any corner. A thick layer of just covered all the surfaces, indicating that the place hadn't been lived in for a long long time. It sent a deep pang through her heart. But still, Remus's present was comforting.

At last, they stood in the courtyard watching the waxing moon.

"How the transformations have been Remus these years?" She asked quietly, standing by his side.

He smiled wanly. "They say it gets better with time but I am afraid so are not the cases with my transformation. But anyways I am coping."

"You remember I was learning to be an animagus...?" She asked. She had been learning from Sirius and James the art of animagi, thinking that if she were to spend her life with Remus, it was not only a precautionary step but a necessary one too. Remus had been wonderfully surprised to learn that she was trying for his sake. But obviously things didn't work out that way...

"And I would be eternally grateful for your efforts Ellie." He finally looked at her, smiling. "You have been among that very rare group of people who were ready to do anything for me."

_Very rare group... _Ellie was tempted to ask if Tonks was in that group too. But then she thought it was quite obvious. But then she almost bit her tongue to avoid asking as to who ranked better between Ellie and Tonks in that group. It would seem childish to me him but she wanted to know if Tonks took same pains that once she had taken for Remus's happiness.

"Remus... Is Tonks an animagus?" She safely framed the question. "I mean did she learn for you...?"

"No." He vehemently shook his head. "And I'd rather prefer it that way. I wouldn't want to put her in danger when it comes to my wolf. Merlin knows how hard I have tried to protect her."

Conflicting feelings rose in Ellie's heart. She felt sad that somewhere he was indicating that he hadn't cared for Ellie at that level, as he never tried to protect her from his wolfish counterpart but Tonks was given this privilege. But somewhere she felt smug that Remus had enough faith in her that he never tried to protect her in the first place.

"But it would help you Remus. You people are about to get married, how will you-?"

"We'll manage." He cut her off defensively. "I don't want her to get involved in all this. It is hard enough in these war days... besides she's learning to brew wolfsbane potion, even though I specifically told her not to." He looked away clenching his jaws.

"Wolfsbane potion?" She asked in confusion.

"It's a recent invention. It helps in transformation, helps us keep our human mind."

"That's fantastic Remus isn't it?" She asked, genuinely happy for him. It was his worst fear that one day he'd hurt somebody on a full moon.

He sighed and looked tired... and simply resigned. "The potion ingredients are very hard to get by... Dora tries but..." He seemed to be talking to himself. He looked so lost she couldn't help but place her palm on her cheek.

"Everything will be alright Remus." She caressed his face a little.

"You _always_ used to say that." Remus chuckled and she was glad she could bring a real smile on his face.

"You know what you did say that you remember everything about me. So I'll just assume you remember my favorite ice cream too. Let's just pop in my favorite muggle ice cream shop." She said excitedly almost jumping with joy.

He opened his mouth and she knew he was about to make excuses. And she knew _why_. After all he had lied to Tonks and had came here with her, leaving her waiting for him and Ellie knew he was slowly getting anxious to get back to Tonks as they had already spent hours exploring the house. Visiting the ice cream shop would take an hour or two more. And that was what she wanted. She wanted him to spend as much as time he could with her, that he initially planned to spend with Tonks. So she beat him too it.

"Please Remus Please... _please_." She gave him the best pleading expression she could muster.

"Ah alright!" He sighed, defeated and looked at his watch to confirm the time. Ellie smiled internally. Tonks will just have to wait more.

But then again Ellie wasn't the guilty one here. It was Remus's decision after all...

They had a blazing time in muggle London, trying all sorts of ice creams and all sorts of odd combination of scoops. Remus laughed and joked but would check time after every few minutes. Though he was clearly enjoying, he wanted to go back too.

She thought of ask him to spend more time with her but decided not to push it beyond her luck. She would take each step slowly and calmly.

Later he safely apparated her to her room directly at the Burrow, where she bid him goodnight and thanked him for such a wonderful evening. She finished her goodnight with a kiss on his cheek.

But when she heard voices from below the kitchen, she slowly sneaked past the landing to hear clearly.

"...poor girl waited for you, for hours. Really Remus, you shouldn't keep a girl waiting." She heard Molly's admonishing voice.

"Something urgent came up Molly... I am just going to her place, we had plans for this evening." He sounded guilty.

"Yes well she looked disappointed and a little angry too maybe. I think some grovelling is in order."

He sighed. "I know...I'll leave immediately. I hope she would be at her place. Goodnight Molly."

"Goodnight."

Ellie heard Molly cleaning last of dishes and footsteps of Remus leaving the main door. She silently crept back to her room.

Well, she hoped that this time when Remus went back to Tonks, Ellie would remain somewhere in his mind, which was quite inevitable seeing as he spent last few hours with her. She wanted him to compare both the women, even if sub consciously, because that was the only way, he would realize the difference between them, and the only way probably that would relight his old flame. She hoped that Tonks would throw a tantrum tonight, compelling Remus unintentionally to remember Ellie as to how she used to handle such situations, back then.

That's all she could do: Hope.

* * *

The Weasley clan plus Hermione, Tonks, Remus and Ellie were cluttered around the dining table for the breakfast.

Though she had seen Remus and Tonks entering together, holding hands even, but she could sense some tension between them. It wasn't obvious, but it was there.

Finally when everyone were seating themselves, she strategically placed herself in such a way that Remus had to sit beside her. And indeed he did at the end.

"Good morning Remus." She gave him a dazzling smile, half wanting to win him over once again with the smile he once had loved and half wanting Tonks to see them getting friendly.

"Good morning Ellie." He smiled back.

"Oh! Blackberry muffins." Ellie eyed the small plate Tonks had just placed on the table before seating herself across them. For once, it felt nice- having Remus next to her and Tonks across them, all alone.

Just as she picked up one of the muffins(there were only three) Tonks spoke curtly:

"Uh... those are for Remus. I make for him whenever I get time."

Ellie placed the muffin back and looked quizzically at Remus when Molly said:

"Oh yes, I taught her to bake these and she learned fairly quickly and well even seeing how clumsy she is." Molly spoke like a proud mother affectionately patting her shoulder.

Remus gave Tonks an encouraging smile, which she barely returned.

"But Remus-" Ellie started, making Remus to look at her. His eyes were silently pleading to not to say what she was about to say, but she said anyway. "You hate Blackberries."

Tonks cleared her throat. "Actually it's quite the opposite."

"No, really. Ask him. For all my life I have known him, he had never disliked anything more than Blackberry."

"Good going Ellie." She thought she heard Remus mutter under his breath just before he opened his mouth to speak. "I er I have developed a taste for these. And Tonks has mastered them making just for me." He replied smoothly, but Tonks was having none of this.

"Do you really hate Blackberries? Why didn't you tell me this earlier when I made them for you for the first time? Or second or fourth?" She looked fairly angry. But Ellie thought, what was angering her more was that Ellie was the one to disclose such a private trait of Remus that only those closest to him should know.

The whole table had gone quiet and they watched with bated breath.

"Dora." He started gently. "How could I have said no to something you had made with such love? When you barely like cooking in the first place."

Tonks in return just glared at him, trying her best not to look hurt and to control the color in her cheeks.

"Tonks, he adores carrot cake; I am sure Molly can teach you to make those too." Ellie said innocently enough, with an encouraging smile.

"Yes dear it's not the big deal, it's fairly easy-" Molly started to console when Tonks interrupted.

"I am sorry everyone. I just looked at the time; and I am pretty late, I have to report at the Ministry. Molly sorry but i'll have something from the canteen. See you everyone." She spoke in a rush, not making eye contact with anybody, gathering her things and getting up from her chair.

Just as Remus was about to get up, Ellie bumped her knees to his. "Let her cool down first." She whispered to Remus, succeeding at making him stay while Tonks left in a hurry.

"I am so so sorry Remus..." She groaned out an apology. This hadn't been something she had planned obviously but she was glad nevertheless that she got an opportunity to express again that she knew him better. That said, she wasn't exactly proud that she had hurt Tonks. But then someone has to get hurt.

"Let's get back to our breakfast." Arthur asked everyone cordially.

As they went back to their foods, Remus looked at Ellie and said:

"You always used to get me in trouble Ellie." He shook his head in exasperation.

"I am sorry..." She tried again.

"It's okay. I'll just have to think of something to win her." He said going back to his own food. "_Again..._" He muttered the last word under his breath.

Ellie ate all the three blackberry muffins.

* * *

_Thanks for reviews everyone, I am loving all your reactions! In this fic Ellie isn't exactly a bad person, but she tends to get blind when it comes to Remus, which compels her to do things, she wouldn't generally do._

_So, I have a fair idea where this is going, but do you? _  
_will update soon!_


	10. Precarious balance

Remus entered quietly in Tonks's flat. She hadn't come back to Burrow from work and he had guessed that she must have come here. These days they kept jiggling between Burrow and her flat. Whenever they wanted privacy, they would come here and if not they would stay at Burrow to stay close and help the Order and with the Weasley Wedding.

When he didn't saw her in the kitchen and living room, he quietly closed and locked the door, assuming she would be in bedroom. And she was.

She was still in her Auror robes and was currently rummaging in her pile of files.

"Dora..."

She started a little and looked up, surprised to see him there. "Remus." She said plainly, looking blankly at him and then added: "Hello. What are you doing here?"

He approached her. "I got a little worried when you didn't arrive at Burrow, thought to check here for you."

She had went back to her files. "Oh. Oh well I had some paperwork to finish so I thought I'd do it here instead. Burrow is pretty chaotic at the moment." She mumbled.

"You haven't even undressed yet." He made a statement and slowly raised his fingers to her robe's button, seeing if she would push him away. She did. She gently pried off his fingers.

"I have just came home. I was sorting through this and I was going to take a shower."

The way she was speaking, carefully and slowly, without meeting his eyes, told him she was still a little angry from yesterday night and plus today's morning incident. Okay, maybe more than a little.

"But you'll have to undress for shower." He spoke tenderly, rubbing his hand over her shoulder blades,

"Remus, really I don't have time." She started keeping aside the files she apparently didn't need.

"You once said you'll always have time to give me a kiss." And with that he dragged the chin of a reluctant Tonks towards his mouth, bending down to taste her lips, coaxing them apart with his tongue, and after a moments hesitation she kissed back ever so slightly, her shoulders relaxing beneath his hand.

But she pulled away all too soon. "I have work." She murmured returning back to her pile.

He crept behind her back, pushing aside her hairs, he kissed her behind her earlobe- her weak spot and unwittingly she shuddered. He brought his hands forward to her buttons again. "You are angry." He stated plainly, placing his chin on her shoulder, slowly unbuttoning her robes.

"Why will I be?" She finally gave up on her files and looked forward, staring blankly into the wall.

As he opened her third button, he deliberately brushed his hands on front of her breasts.

He kissed her jaw. "My love... When you first made those muffins, I was beyond surprised that you had done something for my sake, something which you barely have interest in."

"Yeah. It had to come as shocker because how can anybody expect clumsy Tonks to cook." She spoke dejectedly, ducking her head.

"Hey." He unbuttoned her robes completely, shrugging it off her shoulder, revealing her blue shirt and black jeans. "You know all I mean is that nobody ever tried to do something like this for me." He flattened his palms on her stomach, pulling her flush to his chest.

"Not even Ellie?" It wasn't a question. Remus froze and wondered for a second how to answer that without being disrespectful to both the women.

"Ellie loved cooking. She does it for everybody. But let's not venture into that. Here I am talking about _you_. I already apologized for being late yesterday and the reason I never told that I don't like blackberries was just that I didn't want to hurt you."

"My heart is not made of glass Remus that you need to protect me from such petty things. If you can fuck me as if I am a ragdoll, without worrying about breaking me, you sure as hell can tell me what you like and what you don't."

He flinched at her tone. He knew there have been times when he had been exceptionally rough with her, but she had always seemed to enjoy it. "I just didn't want to look ungrateful."

"And you do so by lying to me."

For a moment Remus's heart sped up thinking she was talking about him lying regarding yesterday but then he remembered that she had no clue about that. He had thought that he would tell her today but judging by her anger, he knew if he told her right now, it would only anger her beyond limits.

"I am sorry love." He said at last, kissing her neck, All he wanted was them to finish this quarrel.

"I- I just wish you would stop hiding from me." She spoke in a small voice and it broke his heart a little, knowing he was hiding something from her and knowing that she was upset from him. "I want to know _you_ Remus. Everything." She whispered and at last he turned her in his arms, so that he could look in her eyes.

"You know things about me that nobody does Dora. That I chose to only show _you;_ never doubt it." He cupped her jaws forcing her to look at him. "And all I want is you to be happy."

"And I will be happy if you are honest with me." Her eyes shone brightly and he hoped she wouldn't see guilt lingering in his eyes as she was generally good at reading him.

"I am. But still, I'll try to be more honest."

She sighed, finally hugging him tightly. "I love you." She spoke in his shoulder.

"I love you too my sweetheart." He cupped the back of his neck to bring her mouth towards his. He kissed tenderly, taking his sweet time. Yesterday, she had been pretty pissed off at night and therefore they had simply slept. Though he had placated her this morning, she had been still a little edgy but she had allowed him to hold her hand. And then Ellie had opened her big mouth, irritating her further.

She rubbed her hands enticingly on his chest, making him growl in her mouth. He lightly bit on her lip. "Fancy the shower?" He asked taking a ragged breath.

"Oh yes." She sighed in pleasure as his hands caressed her back.

They both started undressing each other at the same time but not in hurry, they both wanted to savor each touch and each caress. As their shirts fell on the floor, Remus wasted no time in unhooking her bra while Tonks scraped her now elongated nails on his back.

"Merlin, you'll kill me someday..." he said and squeezed her breast lightly, while rolling the nipple of other with his thumb. In answer she gave him a love bite on his neck which he knew he would have hell of a time hiding tomorrow...

* * *

"Hey Remus! I Didn't know you fancied chickens." Ellie greeted him and he turned back to see her approaching him.

"Well, we aren't the only ones with stomach. They get hungry too." He said from his position from where he was sitting on the ground, feeding the Weasley chickens. "You- you're clothes. They look different." He observed. She wore a decent blue color sundress. Something which she always used to wear in summers. She even looked better; some color had returned to her cheeks and she looked healthier. Even if slowly, she was trying and adjusting.

"Yeah. Fleur offered me to buy some for me yesterday when she went for shopping. I told her my preference. I was getting a bit fed up wearing her borrowed clothes." She wrinkled her nose and he chuckled.

"Yes, that's something I probably wouldn't have been able to help you with. Women clothes and shopping were never my forte."

She smirked and he immediately knew what was coming. "Really? Did you forgot that time when you got me that tiny-"

"Okay tell me what is it that you are carrying in your hand?" He spoke over her to stop her from completing the sentence.

"Subtle Lupin." She said in amusement and knelt next to him.

"Your knees are bare Ellie, the ground is rough." He pointed out.

"I don't mind." She lifted the lid of the casserole and one of his favorite smells in the world, filled his nostrils.

"You didn't..." he looked incredulously at the contents of the vessel.

"I did." She beamed. "Carrot muffins."

As soon as he went to grab those delicious little pieces of joy, his gaze traveled to his soiled hands and he huffed in annoyance. "My hands." He pointed it to Ellie and to add it, his stomach grumbled.

"Yeah yeah...chickens aren't the only ones with the stomach. Open your mouth." She ordered.

"What-" He had opened his mouth to speak but Ellie taking advantage of his open mouth, placed a piece of muffin in his mouth. "Mmmmm..." He was barely capable of speech. It had been too long since he had had these.

"Want more?" She waved the muffin in front of him enticingly.

"Please!" And she complied. Ellie fed the muffins to Remus until he was satisfied while Remus fed the chickens simultaneously. "I can't thank you enough Ellie. You are a life saver..." He spoke through a mouthful and Ellie grazed off the crumbs from his chin.

He kept praising his former girlfriend, unaware that his fiance was watching the whole scene from a distance. While on the other hand Ellie was equally aware of Tonks's presence. In fact she had brought the muffins at that time to Remus, when she had known he won't be able to eat from his hands (Being the neat freak he was) and also that Tonks was bound to stumble on them. It didn't go unnoticed to Ellie, that Tonks turned away from them, without announcing her presence. Never in her right mind, Ellie ever would have imagined that such politics could be played over cakes and muffins.

Remus smacked his lips thanking Ellie one last time. He stood, brushing his hands of the dirt.

"Remus." Ellie stood next to him and she looked hesitant.

"What? Everything alright?" He asked in concern.

"I er... remember two days ago I talked about the places I wanted to visit?" She whispered and he knew why she whispered, after all no one really knew about it.

"How can I forget Ellie, I promised to help." He reassured her.

"It's that- if you are free today- I- I'd..."

"What?" he prodded her gently.

"I'd like to visit my parent's grave."

_Oh_. "Ellie..."

"Its just... I have been missing them. If you are free and you don't have any plans already..."

"I don't." He didn't have any plans. He and Tonks had decided to stay at the Burrow today. But The Wilkins grave were in another town, and it'll take enough time that his absence would be noticed by Tonks if not anyone else. It meant he would have to lie to her again. Whenever he thought he'd had a perfect opportunity to tell her, it would slip away from him. Now, he'll a have to lie again and he'll gave two lies to confess to. "I'll take you. Be ready. Same time. We'll apparate from your room itself." He had to chose the evening time because at that time The Burrow remained most chaotic. And as Ellie liked to be in isolation, they simply assumed that she was in her room.

"Thank you Remus. I owe you."

"You owe me nothing, Liza." He smiled at her, using his nickname for her.

Her grin stretched her face and for once he was glad that the haunted look in her eyes wasn't prominent.

"Bye!" She walked away with a bounce in her steps, leaving him alone with a daunting task to being untruthful to his Dora.

How long will this go?

* * *

_I love all your feedback. And you won't have to wait much as to where this goes because half of the story is already complete and I try my level best to update on alternative days if not daily._

_Until then, don't forget to review!_


	11. Pulling strings

"Dora?" Remus knelt on the rug, next to Tonks who was currently sitting on the sofa, flipping through the pages of a wedding magazine which apparently initially had belonged to Fluer.

"Remus." She gave him a smile and set aside the magazine. "I knew you respected me but really no need to sit on the floor." She teased and he rolled his eyes.

"Insolent as always I see." He teased her back.

"Is that what you are calling me now?" She leant forward suggestively and waggled her eyebrows.

Giving her a peck on her lips, he murmured, "Later. I came here to tell you something."

"What?" She asked while seating herself beside him.

"I er..." He hesitated. "I am going out for few hours but I'll be back by evening. I am going to see my father."

"Really? That's great Remus, you haven't seen him in ages!" She looked so excited and he felt that familiar ache of guilt in his stomach again.

It was the fourth time he was lying to her. Four times in the last two weeks. And it was becoming difficult with each passing day to tell her the truth as well as to hide the truth from her.

Second time when he had lied to her he had gave her a lame reply that he needed to run an errand in Diagon Alley. Instead of going anywhere even near to the alley, he had taken Ellie to her parents' grave.

The visit to the grave had been a solemn one. It had broken Ellie down to see it for real that her parents were no longer in this world. They had sat there in front of her parents for hours and he had told her everything he thought she could take at one time. He had told her about Sirius, that how he was innocent and who was the real culprit, how he had found his friend only to lose him again within a short span of time. He had told her how her parents had died, he told her about all her siblings and she had experienced both joy and sadness. Happiness on knowing that her little brothers and sisters were now settled down, some with babies even and sadness on knowing about Sirius, Peter, Harry and Dumbledore.

He had then taken her to visit James and Lily's grave too. It had felt comforting to talk about his friends to someone who had been as close to them as he had been.

Later that night when Tonks was cuddled next to him and had asked how his errand went he had felt as if someone had stuffed cotton balls into his mouth. She had asked so innocently and without any doubt, while playing with his hairs and lying on his chest that it had doubled the burden of guilt.

Next day he had decided to tell her. Just as he had been approaching her he had been rudely interrupted by the twins. He never really got the chance to tell her again as that evening Ellie made another request. She had wanted to visit the countryside where all the marauders, Lily and Ellie used to go after Hogwarts ended.

He ended up agreeing to take her the next day.

That day, he had sprouted the ugliest lie to Dora for which he will be forever ashamed.

He had told her that he was going for a muggle interview. The look of pride and glee on her face had been a punch in his stomach knowing that it was all lie.

She had so excitedly arranged a muggle suit on rent from somewhere and had bid him luck unaware that he wasn't going to an interview at all...

That night when she had asked how his interview went, she had misunderstood the look of shame and guilt on his face as a look of another rejection. She had told him with passion that it never did matter to her if he had a job or not. The only reason it mattered to her was that it was important to him. She had told him that it was world's loss if he wasn't accepted. The tears that had shone in her eyes had broken his heart and he hadn't been able to eat his dinner that night.

Today, Ellie wanted to visit Shrieking shack. Since she had been one of the people who had always known about his lycanthropy, therefore she knew about the shack too. It had been a place of memories.

Slowly running out of his lies, Remus gave Tonks any excuse he could find.

"I thought he might like to see me."

"Of course Remus, in fact he would love to see you. I never really understood why you gave up on him." She slowly caressed the side of his face and placed a kiss on his jaw.

Avoiding the topic, he asked. "What will you be doing?"

"I have some work at Ministry of about few hours. Then I will be free. Molly needed to contact the magical decorators company, so I will do that for her... Remus?"

"Hmm?"

"Why aren't you taking me to meet your father?" She asked with hesitation and he felt his heart sinking when he saw hurt in her eyes.

"Dora, it isn't what you are thinking." She was probably thinking that Remus didn't want her to meet his father because she was not good enough. "I-I just- I want to make amends with him first. Then I promise I would introduce you officially to my father. I just don't want to shock him but he would be dead happy to know that I am settling down." He'd be damned if his far fetched lie hurt her pride in anyway.

"It's okay. I understand."

He cupped her face in his hands. "You know that I love you, don't you?" He asked desperately.

"Remus don't be silly. I just asked like that. And I know okay? or at least I hope so."

"You hope so that you know that I love you or you hope that I do love you in the first place."

"Remus stop confusing me with words okay? Shut up and kiss me goodbye."

He brought his lips to hers and connected them softly, trying to drink her in. His thumb stroked her neck while she played with the hairs at the nape of his neck. He glided his tongue over lips and she parted them to deepen the kiss. After kissing her for few minutes she pulled away.

"Go. Or else I'll never let you leave." She whispered.

Giving her one last kiss on her forehead, he bid her farewell, hoping against hope that it was the last lie he would have to say.

* * *

"She going somewhere?" Asked Ellie as she saw Remus standing at the door waving off Tonks.

"To club. With her friends." He answered back.

"She looks great." From whatever she could have seen in the dark, she had seen that Tonks had been wearing an awfully short skirt and equally short top.

Remus hummed in approval which she tried to ignore.

"Come inside." She ushered him in, closing the door behind them. The Clock on the wall, one that actually showed time, struck ten. "How come you didn't go with her."

"Don't be stupid. She's going club-party-drinking-disco-dance and stuff which is something I don't enjoy...much." He replied seating himself on the sofa.

She took the chair next to him. "What do you mean? After we all passed out, we visited _twenty_ muggle clubs and disco and I knew as a fact that you enjoyed too."

"That was because I was nineteen then and moreover we had our own group; we were seven-eight in number and I never really got bored."

"You mean to tell me that if you were to go with Tonks, you'll get bored." She inquired.

"No. what I mean is that she barely meets her friends. Normally she's busy in Order, Burrow and me. I don't want to be a liability. And they are completely different people; different age, different thinking..."

"Come on Remus, you are kidding me right? If you can be with Tonks happily and understand her who is thirteen years younger than you, how come you won't enjoy with her friends? I mean I know Tonks is very responsible and mature but she is also an ideal representative of today's youth, it shows in her clothes, her style, her music and food. If you can love her, you'll like company of her friends too." She wanted him to think, wanted him to focus on the major differences he and Tonks had.

"I-No-That's-" He couldn't find a suitable reply. He sighed. And she hoped that somewhere deep down she had got him thinking. "I don't know any of her friends." At last he said.

She gasped. "What? You haven't met you wife-to-be's friends? How ridiculous is that? She must have introduced them to you."

"I do know Mad-eye and Kingsley..." He answered dimly.

"Remus you knew all of _my_ friends." She slowly interjected.

"That's because we were in the same friend circle. Same house, same year."

"Yes, but. You knew many of my other friends too. You even met with my muggle friends and my neighbor invited us to dinner remember?

"That's because no one knew then that I was a werewolf." He sighed. "You don't understand; it is more complicated than that. When we joined the Order we weren't supposed to know each other in public, then a year after that... I-I went on a year long mission. And ever since that, we haven't had much time..."

"Remus, exactly for many many months have you been together?" She asked skeptically.

"Umm... Less than a month." He looked uncomfortable.

"Only a month? And you decided to get married just within a month of courtship?"

"I-we have loved each other for longer." He was being defensive... and over sensitive.

"Okay." She raised her hands in surrender. "I am not judging your relationship Remus, just asking... At least I feel so that she should have asked you to accompany her."

"She knows that I would say no."

"That's no reason to not to ask. Remember how Lily used to badger James when he didn't want to go somewhere?" She thought to remind him that how Ellie herself never used to give up but then decided not to, it might be a little too much.

"She did asked me once back when Sirius was alive... I told her no quite rudely that too."

She leaned back on her chair. "Now, Tonks must have some guy friends of her age?"

He shrugged indifferently. "Maybe."

"It's very... courageous of you." She gave him a sly and teasing smile. "To let her go to have fun with her male friends at this time of night..."

"I am sure she can take care of herself." He replied passively.

"Yes, but sure you don't feel threatened? You just sent your fiance to drinking with her friends who may or may not include some hot guys..."She goaded him good naturedly. She wasn't saying this to spite him, she just wanted him to sit alone and _think_... Which he might after he was left alone.

"I think I should have asked Tonks to take you along with her instead, so that you could chat up some hot young guys..." He retorted with a smirk.

Anger bubbled in Ellie's stomach but she suppressed it. Of course he wouldn't dare to give such suggestions to Tonks. But then, she reminded herself, that was what she had to change.

Controlling her anger, she rolled her eyes and then said seriously. "Remus, listen to me. I get that you are in a new relationship that too at a time when war is at its height. But one day, a time will come when hopefully everything will be alright. I understand right now you both are busy with Order and War, but once when this goes away what will you both have in common? Say from five years from now, you both are married and Tonks invites some of her eccentric friends on dinner. That time you cannot just brood in corner, you'll have to socialize with her crowd. Think about it. Find something in common, besides love, because things are not going to remain this way forever."

He looked away, running his hands through his hairs at the back of his head. "Some of the Molly made pudding was left from dinner, care to share?" He asked looking back at her.

"Sure." She smiled.

Just as he got up, she once again teased.

"And you really are courageous to send your fiance in ultra short clothes out to get drunk with unknown guys..."

He threw a cushion on her face to curb her snickers from somewhere inside the kitchen.

After bidding him goodnight, Ellie waited up in her room in dark for Tonks, for she knew Remus was waiting for her too down in the living room along with doing some work. Ellie hoped that she would come back utterly tipsy and horribly late.

But Tonks being the responsible Auror she was, came back completely sober. Though she did came back horribly late.

She couldn't hear what they were talking from all the way up, but hoped whatever it was, it bore good news for Ellie.

There were times at night when Ellie woke up and realized what she was doing these days and hated herself for it, hated the person she was becoming to have Remus back. She often doubted if what she was doing was right even. Was it right to break them off when it would obviously cause despair to Remus?

But then somehow she always re-convinced herself. That if Remus and Tonks' relationship was strong enough, no power in the world let alone Ellie would be able to break them and if it wasn't strong enough, sooner and later it will shatter into pieces even without any external help from Ellie.

Considering it a test on their relationship, Ellie closed her eyes thinking, if they failed the test, Remus probably would be hers and if they passed the test, she will accept it, accept it as her and Remus's destiny that they were never meant to be together.

* * *

_Ataraxie- I understand it's difficult to start a story which neither has your favorite pairing nor your favorite characters and therefore I am gladder that you like this. Thank you :)_

_dontgiveahoot- I agree with everything you said. Ellie is over concerned with Remus but she's probably stalling about her family and friends because she's currently following 'ignorance is bliss'. As for Remus eating anything made by her, well what can we say he's so forgiving :D_

_Keep reading; I am sure in coming chapters everything will unravel._

_Thank you :)_


	12. Dilemma

Burrow looked more chaotic than ever. Bill and Fleur's wedding was tomorrow and everyone was in a frenzy. They were lucky to get enough space to even stand. So Remus and Tonks stood in a corner next to each other, leaning against the wall and watching the scene with wry amusement. Molly was frantically preparing dishes, using two wands at one time and he marveled her synchronization. Charlie had arrived yesterday and along with Bill, he was arranging the furniture. Fred and George were incharge of decorations and he could see Ginny running with various supplies of cosmetic which he assumed was for Fleur who was upstairs getting her 'bridal mystic facial' by one of the best beauticians of France who the Delacours have brought with them. Outside, through the window, he could see Arthur, Mr. Delacour and Ron helping in arranging the marquee. Everyone was doing something or the other, even other Order members have visited to help too; everyone except them that is.

"Remus, when we get married, it will be just you and me." Tonks spoke from his side in exasperation.

He chuckled. "Well, you say that now, we'll see later. Lily used to say that too. But once the wedding date was decided, she wanted to invite every person she had ever known."

"Speaking of Lily, look at Harry, Remus..." She drew her gaze to the boy, who had somehow found one corner and was sitting on a sofa with Ellie. They looked deep in conversation.

"Yeah... He-he looks old..." The amount of change that had come in the boy in just a month, scared him.

"Yes that too but..."

"But?" He looked at her to see her frown.

"I mean- It may sound stupid but-but he has just met Ellie three days ago and when he is not with his friends, he is always with her. I suppose I'll never be that close to him even if he had known me for lot longer." She finished sadly.

"Dora, Ellie was Lily's best friend and it's only natural that he would want to know about her mother. Because as much as we- I and Sirius- adored Lily, we were James's friends first. There are things that only Ellie could tell him about Lily." Putting his hand around her shoulder, he brought her closer. "And Harry likes you too."

"I just-just want to be close to someone who is so important to you. I mean you love him like your son, and by that means I want to know him..."

"You think too much. I still remember Harry pretty much liked your company back when you both first met." He kissed her temple and she smiled.

He looked up at the sound of someone knocking on the open door. Everyone stopped what they were doing to look up at the unfamiliar dark brown haired woman.

"Er..." The woman looked in her mid thirties, wore simple wizard robes and her hairs were done in a tidy bun.

"Claudia!" A gasp from Ellie diverted everyone's attention to her. Seeing the look of pure amazement and surprise on Ellie's face Remus couldn't help but smile.

"Who's she?" Tonks whispered from behind him.

"Ellie's sister-"

"Oh my god El it's _actually_ you, I thought someone was pulling a prank..." Fat tears rolled from Claudia's eyes as she stared in open amazement at the sister that was supposed to be dead.

Both sisters ran towards each other with lightning speed, hugging and crying, none able to believe that the one in front of them was real.

Everyone had stopped to see the sisters reunion.

Finally when they pulled apart, Ellie asked teary eyed. "Who told you I was here?"

"Remus sent me a letter." As soon as she said, Claudia's eyes met him and she rushed forward to hug him.

"Thank you, Remus, thank you so much..."

"Remus, its such a wonderful surprise, I couldn't have asked for more..." Ellie looked at him from behind her sister with gratitude in her eyes and came forward just like her sister to hug him fiercely. "I owe you so much Remus."

He patted on her back. "I was glad to do so. Now, I think you have a lot to catch up-"

"-Oh Claudia, is it? Now that you are here, it's my son's wedding tomorrow, you are invited." Molly told her in motherly fashion.

"Oh thank you, I didn't mean to burden- Thank you." She seemed overwhelmed all at once.

"Now off you go." He sent both the sisters to talk in privacy. He felt happy from inside for being reason of someone's happiness.

Thanking him once again, Ellie caught her sister's wrist and dragged her upstairs excitedly. As the sisters vanished from site, everyone returned to their work.

He sighed.

"You never told me you wrote to her sister?" Tonks asked quietly.

He started. He had entirely forgotten that she had been beside him.

"I-er it must have slipped my mind. I wasn't even sure if my letter reached her. I asked Arthur if he could find from Ministry records her new address where she apparently lives with her husband."

"You could have asked me Remus, it would have been easier for me to look up in Ministry records than Arthur. I wouldn't have said no." She looked disappointed.

It had completely escaped his mind. What was happening to him? Did lying and hiding from her was becoming his habit?

Before he could form a suitable response, a voice from upstairs broke their conversation.

"TONKS! Could you come up please?" Called Ginny, who sounded agitated.

"I'll talk later. See you."

And with that she left, leaving him in his confusion and musings.

* * *

Tonks stepped out from Ginny's room which was a perfect example of havoc and turmoil. Fleur and her beautician party along with Hermione and Ginny (on Molly's insistence) have bunked in Ginny's rooom. Ginny who already disliked her sister-in-law-to-be , wasn't happy on invasion of her room.

Ginny's attitude towards Fleur had always been a reason of tension between both. Though Tonks knew that with time, Ginny would grow to like Fleur.

They had needed her to morph like Fleur so that they could see what look and hairs would suit her best. Tonks didn't mind as she herself loved experimenting with hairs and what not.

When she reached the first landing, an unknown voice that drifted to her, made her halt on the stairs.

"...that's horrible..." the voice was saying which she recognised belonged to that woman named Claudia.

"Yes, it is. It came as a terrible shock and still sometimes it is hard to believe that _my Remus_-"

Tonks who had decided that it were just two long lost sisters talking, halted again in her tracks on hearing Remus's name.

"-is not mine anymore."

"I am so sorry Ellie. I knew how much you loved him. I mean I have seen how you looked at him. You were mad about him, in fact, Remus had been equally in love with you. You both were almost inseparable. It's seems so impossible to hear that you both are not together anymore..."

"It has been sixteen years Dia. I have looked at Harry; he had grown so much, so much has change. Frankly when I look at it like _that_, it isn't such a shocker that he is in love with somebody else now."

Tonks was breathing slowly and for some reason her heart was beating faster and her hands were sweating. Eavesdropping was all good as far as it brought good news but with it also came a risk of discovering unwanted things which Tonks would rather prefer to remain ignorant to. So far, she had just known that Remus and Ellie had been together back in their time but hearing their description from a third person, made it more real.

"But Ellie..." Claudia trailed off as if in doubt whether or not to complete her sentence.

"What?" Ellie probed.

"Remember Micheal?" She asked in an apprehensive voice.

"Your-your husband, isn't he?"

"_No_." Claudia exclaimed in a harsh whisper. "I am married to David."

"_David_? David who?" Asked Ellie in equal surprise.

"The one who was a year above me at school, the one who had asked me out on Valentine's day, remember, he even sent me a card?"

"Oh, David Breckenridge? Of course I remember him. _Wait wait wait_. I don't understand. You are married to David? You are _Mrs Breckenridge_? How-how did that happen? Last I remember you were engaged to Michael Cornell, your five years long boyfriend!"

"Yeah..." Claudia sounded plain defeated. "We-we broke up Ellie. And it was bad. He left England and til date I don't know where he is. But I was heartbroken, he was my first love, he was supposed to be my last love, we were supposed to be married and one day... one day everything is over."

"I had no idea... When Remus told me you were married I just assumed you had married to Michael. What happened? From where did David came into equation?"

"What happened is a long story for some other day. And I met David again years after my break up. Surprisingly, even when I had torn his card into million peices he was still friendly to me. We met for few more times... and we hit it off."

"So, you are happy right?" Ellie asked hesitantly

"No...I mean yes.. I-_I don't know_. That's what I had initially wanted to say Ellie. Mike was my first love and even after years.. I still feel for him. I haven't dared to breathe a word of it to anyone, but deep down... I mean David is such a sweetheart. I love him so much but-but sometimes, I wish and I am ashamed to even think so but I do wish that it was Mike with me... What I mean first true love is hard to forget... I feel so guilty but I can't help and think about what it would have been like with Mike. I can't help but compare them in my mind. Ellie... you and Remus, your love had been stronger than ours, it makes me think it is almost impossible for you not to love Remus but even for Remus... are you really sure he loves that Tonks girl? Because as far as I know him, he seems like one woman man to me. Don't take me wrong, I mean yes he might love that girl but are you completely sure he is over you? I mean your death was never confirmed... he might have harbored some hope of finding you..."

Tonks silently fumed. How dare a complete stranger judge her and Remus's relationship without even knowing her? Had she even ever seen the way he is with her? How much he cares and loves her...

"I-I don't know but I don't want to hurt myself thinking he is still in love with me or something. I mean Tonks is a wonderful woman, you know she's an Auror, how cool is that? I could never compete with her but..."

"But, what but El?"

"I-I do feel, there's something not _fitting_ with them."

_Now, what did she mean by that?!_

"Meaning?" Asked Claudia.

"You haven't seen them together but once you do, you'll notice the difference, I mean difference between Me and Remus and Remus and Tonks. With me, he was so carefree and our love was _effortless_... and with them? It feels like Remus puts in so much effort to please her. I am not saying Tonks is shallow, she appreciates all of Remus's gestures but yet Remus tries so hard, I mean I can see it... He'll even do things he doesn't like just for her sake. It's like he fears that she'll leave him at any moment. _He just tries so bloody hard..._"

_Because he loves me you bloody twat, that's what people do in love, try to keep each other happy..._

"I am not saying that one shouldn't try to keep the other happy but he becomes entirely different person when he is with her, someone who he is _not_ at all in real, he laughs less with her and concentrates on making her laugh more, when he kisses her it is not like he is doing it because he wants it but because she wants it. It's like he wants space but is too afraid to ask. And I can tell such minute things because I have known him ever since he was a little kid." Ellie finished.

_Was that the case? Was she right?_ Tonks felt her mind reeling.

"Do you think, they came together because of war?"

"May be. In fact that is most likely reason. I am afraid about what will happen once all of this is over. I mean they decide to get married after being together just for a month. And with us? Remus had loved me longer, we had been together for longer and we did talk about marriage yes, but-"

"He never officially proposed."

"Yeah... but... four nights after James and Lily died... Claudia... I-I found something."

"Ellie...? What is it sister?"

"I found a _ring_! He was going to propose me but I had to go and get captured..." Ellie broke into tears and Tonks could hear no more.

Remus was going to propose Ellie... And he had never told Tonks about it. Oh how conveniently he had missed such a crucial point.

She looked at her left finger where a tiny ring sat. Remus had said he had brought this ring from his money. He might have...but had he initially brought this ring for Ellie? Was this ring sixteen years old? Had he lied to her?

She came down the stairs, numb with thoughts, unaware that Ellie had yet again succeeded in planting a seed of doubt in their heads.

* * *

Remus knocked on Tonks's bedroom door. Today was the Weasley wedding and they had came here as Tonks had wanted to get ready at her place; '_it would be too stuffy at Burrow'_ she had said. As for him, both being a man and poor, he hadn't had much to get ready. He wore his best robes, ones which were least patched and since Molly had done some wandwork on his robes, they looked normal enough. Beneath his robes he wore a pale green shirt which Tonks had gifted him on his birthday two years ago.

"Come in Remus, since when do you have to knock?" Came her muffled voice from inside.

Opening the door fully, he entered and replied, "Just thought you might like some privacy while getting-" his breath caught in his throat as she emerged from bathroom, busy in wearing her earrings. "You look marvelous."

She was wearing a pale blue dress that came up to her knees and when she turned around he was left even more speechless at the view of her back. The dress was almost backless except for a single criss-cross.

"Glad you think so." She spoke distractedly. He frowned. She had seemed a little lost since yesterday and she generally glowed whenever he complemented her. This time however it almost appeared that she hadn't even heard his complement.

Still staring at her back he walked forward, hugged her from behind and kissed a bare shoulder. "Don't you think though that this dress is a little loud for a... wizard wedding?" He asked fingering a narrow sash on her waist.

"No, I don't think so." She spoke simply. Too _simply_.

"I am not criticizing you Dora. I told you, you look beautiful, just... I'll have a hard time keeping away other men from you."

"Wasn't that what you had wanted until few months ago?" She latched a bracelet on her wrist and shrugged him in search of her shoes.

"What's wrong with you Tonks?" He did nothing to hide the frustration in his voice.

She sighed and sat down on the edge of the bed. "I-I am sorry, it's just..." She waved her hand vaguely.

"Work?" He supplied.

"Yeah. Yeah work. Stress from work, things are getting pretty hectic." As she said, she went back to putting on a silver colored sandals with heels. He wondered if she'll be able to walk in them but kept his mouth shut.

"You can talk to me you know, you don't have to bear all the burden alone." Shifting closer to her, he draped his arm around her waist.

She fiddled with her ring and asked suddenly. "Remus why haven't we decided on a wedding date yet?"

"Is _that _what really bothering you?" he asked incredulously.

"No, its not _bothering_ me; just curious."

_Going to someone else's wedding makes you wish it was yours instead..._

"I always thought it was a mutual decision. You never said anything about it and therefore I didn't too."

"Don't you want to get married?" She asked in a small voice and wouldn't look at him.

"Now you are just being silly Dora, if I wouldn't have wanted to get married why would I have proposed you in the first place."

She sighed and he took hold of her chin, making her look at him. "I do want to get married. I just thought we'll spend a little time in engagement daze, you know... and... once we return from the wedding, we'll talk about it as it is getting quite late."

She nodded and asked. "What color do you think should I do my hairs?"

"Pink would look nice..."

"No, any normal color."

"Well then, dark brown suits you too."

She looked at him oddly for a long time. Just as he thought he had said something wrong, she spoke, "I'll go with blonde instead."

The instant she got up and moved a little past him, he caught her wrist and spun her around, making her fall in his lap.

"What-"

Before she could speak any further he pressed his mouth roughly to hers, kissing her ardently. When she moaned in his mouth it only spurred him further.

Feeling the smooth skin of her back with both his hands, he kissed her neck and uttered into her skin, "I wanted to do that ever since I saw you in this dress."

She straddled him, forgetting her earlier frustration and dragged his mouth back to hers. "Are we not getting late now?" She spoke in his mouth.

Straddling him had made her dress hitch up in fair amount. Transferring his hand from her back to her thighs, he dragged her forward. "It's not like we are needed there for anything. They can wait."

She pressed her chest to his, making him fall on the bed on his back. Remus gathered her dress, pulling it all the way up to her waist, completely exposing her backside. With one hand he squeezed her barely clothed bottom while with his other hand he kneaded her breast.

Tonks gasped and moaned out, "You are spoiling the crease of my dress.."

"I know one this... really...good... ironing charm." He groaned out as she pressed their hips together and his hold on her assets tightened.

"Don't finish what you can't start." She spoke brainlessly and he chuckled in her mouth which died effectively as she zipped down his trousers and touched his arousal.

"I think..." He found it hard to think as all the blood rushed from his head to other more pleasurable places. "You mean _don't start what I can't finish._"

"Mmm hmm."

He rolled them and came to rest on top of her.

Just as he was about to pull her dress out completely a lynx patronus rudely interrupted them.

"We are waiting for you to complete the security detail. Come as soon as possible." Kingsley's voice boomed in the room which was filled with their labored breathing.

"You said we are needed for nothing." She pointed out in annoyance and he groaned, letting his forehead fall on her collarbone.

"Sod them."

She chuckled though he could hear disappointment and reluctance as she spoke, "Come on, tuck in your little wolfie inside your pants. We'll have whole night together." Rubbing him one last time through his boxers she pulled away, leaving him with a sense of loss.

She righted her knickers and that stick on bra which had come undone during the course of their activities. He lay on the bed sluggishly and watched her correcting herself hurriedly.

"Remus, for god sake will you zip up your pants and do that ironing charm you promised." She almost ordered as she slipped in her sandals.

"I need a bloody cold shower!"

He could hear her snigger all the way from bathroom where she had went apparently to take a last look at herself.

"I can hear you!"

* * *

Tonks and Remus finally arrived, looking respectfully composed. To tell the truth, Tonks hadn't wanted to attend the wedding at all ever since she had overheard the Wilkins sisters. In fact, she did want to attend the wedding after all Bill was his dear friend and Weasleys were almost her family but she would have preferred the wedding without one Ellie Wilkins. But of course she kept her thoughts to herself.

She had felt doubts swirling in her head like a tornado. But those doubts have dimmed a bit due to their...activities before the arrival at the wedding. The way Remus had reacted to her, had lifted her spirits up. But those doubts returned as she heard Remus who currently stood with Ellie and Claudia, a bit far away from her, complementing Ellie by telling her that she looked '_very pretty'_ and '_elegant'_.

_Elegant_. Remus had never ever used that word for her. But then clumsy Tonks was far from elegant.

It wasn't like Tonks was jealous of every second woman with whom Remus spoke. No, that wasn't the case at all. She was pretty open minded. But how come she do not feel threatened when their were time she could almost feel Remus slipping away from her? There was just something about Ellie Wilkins had screamed danger for her and Remus's relationship. Maybe that something factor was that Remus had been planning to propose Ellie or maybe because she could see right now how he was smiling. Banishing the depressing thoughts, she left the marquee to see how things were going with Fleur and other girls.

* * *

Tonks tried to smile as Remus gently twirled her on the dance floor. Her mood had greatly deteriorated during the wedding even when nothing of significance had happened with Ellie. But her mere presence was distracting. And she was starting to imagining things. Whenever Remus would even look remotely in the direction of where Ellie stood, she felt as if he was watching her, even if she knew that wasn't the case. But her heart and mind were playing tricks on her and she just wanted to flee with Remus in some faraway land.

"You have zoned out darling...again." Remus whispered softly in her ear and she tried to brush his concerns away. If she kept looking distracted, he would soon get suspicious, which will ignite a conversation she had no intention of starting.

Rules said that conversing was the best policy but what if her questions made Remus think about things he had never really thought about before? She was being a coward she knew it, but she couldn't help it either.

She placed her head on his shoulder to hide her face. She felt comforting feel of his hand on small of her back as he pulled her closer.

Just as she was lulled into a serene rhythm, Fred and George announced that the next song would be the last song of the evening.

She placed her chin on Remus's shoulder and looked around as pairs hurried to each other for the last dance. Ginny who was dancing with Lee Jordan, was approached by a hesitant Harry; Hermione who had been dancing with Charlie was asked away by Ron; Similarly she saw Molly moving towards Arthur, Mrs and Mr Delacour together and of course Bill and Fleur. For first time that evening, Tonks gave a genuine smile. She had no reason to move because she was right in arms of her love.

Just as she moved backwards to look Remus in the she stumbled. Though of course Remus caught her, she looked downwards at her shoes and groaned in annoyance.

"Brilliant!" the heel of her left sandal had broken.

"Go, fix it, I'll be waiting for you." He gave her a tender smile and pointed her to a chair where she could sit and repair her sandal quickly.

Taking both the sandals in her hand she quickly ran towards the chair and sat down to look at the damage.

Finally after five minutes of brainstorming, she was able to fix it. And by fixing she meant, she broke the heel of other sandal too when she couldn't find the way to fix the first one.

Just as she stood to reach for Remus, she stopped in her tracks, color leaving her face.

She saw Ellie chatting up Remus and by the looks of it she was asking him for the last dance.

_The nerve of that woman, she knows that Remus was dancing with me..._

She increased her pace when she saw Remus hesitating. Of course he would decline, he was waiting for her after all...

Just as she was few steps away, she saw Remus extending his hands to Ellie.

Tonks felt as if she had been slapped over her face. She did nothing to hide the hurt in her eyes, as she saw Ellie placing her hand on his shoulder and him placing his hand on her waist. All over she could see people who were _in love _dancing, people who were couple together, yet she stood there like a statue all alone while her partner danced with some other woman...

With striking realization Tonks felt that maybe what she had overheard yesterday wasn't Ellie's far fetched thinking. Maybe Remus really did tried so hard to please her that he forgot his own happiness, maybe the war had brought him closer, maybe Remus hadn't really been able to forget his first love after all...

And the noble person she was, he would sacrifice his own happiness to do the right thing. Tonks realized he wouldn't leave her, no, he would not. Yet he would stay with her even if he was in love with some other person... The only way he would ever achieve his true happiness would be if Tonks left. After all if Ellie hadn't disappeared years ago, they would have been married for about sixteen years...and Tonks would have been some random multi colored kid...

Ellie pressed her cheek to his shoulder and they swayed lightly on the music in a circle. When Remus came in a position where he faced her, slowly as if in slow motion, his eyes met hers.

He had never looked so guilty and she had never looked so heartbroken. She wore her hurt, her disappointment on her face for him to see.

May be it was time to leave and not just from this party, but from his life as well.

Before Remus could even react, Tonks had turned around and walked out of the place.

* * *

_Well, so Tonks has got this idea in her head, now is true or just her insecurity speaking? We'll see in upcoming chapters, please keep reading and reviewing :)_


	13. The date

_Smut ahead, er... a rather elaborate one, one of the reason this chapter got lengthier. So please skip to the end if it's not your cup of tea. Thanks :)_

* * *

Remus and Tonks's relationship had become strenuous to say the least.

Tonks on one hand, felt that their relationship was beginning to become a burden on Remus as he wanted to be with someone else even if he hadn't realized so himself. As a result, Tonks barely spent any moment in her flat so that they wouldn't have to face each other in isolation. She had even started to feel that only thing that had kept their relationship alive so far had been the sex, which had almost become non-existence these days.

While on the other, Remus was wilting away in his guilt of lies. Due to the Weasley wedding, Ellie had stopped requesting for visits for time being but once when everything had quieted down, Bill and Fleur had left for honeymoon and Burrow had become vacant, Ellie had once again sought his company to help her in visiting places that connected her to her past. Each time he lied to Dora he could feel the guilt settling in his heart and now it had become almost impossible to tell Dora about his lies. How could he explain them to her now when he had lost count of several times he had told to her?

And it hadn't escaped his noticed the way she was drooping day by day ever since that blasted last dance incident. Remus adored Ellie to bits but never had he hated her sense of timing more. And what he hated even more was his ability to say no. The shocked look on Dora's face still troubled him at nights during sleep.

Above all he hated that he had barely seen her in past week let alone actually spent time with her.

So therefore he had decided to take matters in his own hands and thus here he waited in her bedroom at Burrow. She had taken up to coming _really_ late when he had either fallen asleep or had left. But today he was determined to wait up for her. Because this had gone far too long.

She entered the dark room at one in the morning, the darkness giving him an advantage of catching her unawares.

He sat on the edge of her bed, clasping his hands in his lap, as he saw her silhouette. She threw her bag and her Auror robes on a chair and reached to flick the lights.

She jumped as she saw him sitting there, staring at her.

"What are you doing here?" She asked in a low voice when her shock had worn off.

He didn't say anything, instead he got up and silently took hold of her hands, brought her to the edge of the bed and made her sit on the spot he had sat on seconds before.

Kneeling down in front of her, he took hold of both her hands in his. "You have been avoiding me Nymphadora." He came straight to the point.

She looked away in defeat.

"But today I am not going to talk anything about that. But I do understand, we have _many_ things to talk about. The one of most important being our discussion of our wedding date. We had decided to talk about it that day but... I know things didn't turn out that way. I also want to tell you about that incident as well and most importantly want to apologize for what happened. But as I said _not_ now. I am here for one sole purpose. And that is to officially ask you out on a date tomorrow evening. A proper date. Nymphadora Tonks, will you go out with me?"

She opened and closed her mouth like a gaping fish but no words came out.

"Now, I know tomorrow is Sunday and I also know for a fact that you have been _deliberately_ taking shifts even on your day offs just to avoid me. I want you to send an owl tomorrow to Robards informing him your regret on not being able to complete your shift of tomorrow, that is, of course if you agree to go out with me."

She stared down at her lap, and blinked rapidly.

Finally dropping his gentlemanly-formal voice, he cupped her face with his palms and made her look at him.

"Dora _my_ _love_, did you really think that I'd let you go that easily?" He softened his voice as he saw tears shining in her eyes.

She sniffed. "Oh Remus, I have had such a terrible week..." She trailed off as tears streamed down her face and he immediately got up, cradling her head to his chest.

"You should have talked to me Dora. You told me to be honest with you and the same applies to you. I told you that you don't have to bear all the burden all alone. Give me your troubles, tell me your problems and I am always there for you. When did you lost that faith in me?" He questioned her gently. He just wanted to invoke a response and not make her cry harder. He rubbed her back and kissed her head as her sobs quieted down.

"I understand..." He started again when she simply cuddled in him tighter instead of replying. "...That you may need some time to open up to me _again_ and thus this date. Think about it until the evening and we are going to do this properly as if it is our first date which technically it might be. I'll pick you up at seven, I'll probably compliment you on how beautiful you look and will offer you my arm. We will then have proper dinner with your favorite ice cream and wine and then I'll be chivalrous enough to drop you at your flat. And maybe if things would be going on track, I'll kiss you a hesitant goodnight."

"And I'll invite you inside and we will shag each other senseless." She mumbled in her shirt and he chuckled.

"Well, that's not my idea of _first_ date but that's definitely my idea of ideal date."

"Sod your ideas." She pulled away and wiped her tears. When she had collected herself, he asked,

"So, tomorrow confirm then?"

"Are you not going to sleep here?" She asked with raised eyebrows,

"Nah.. told you, date first."

She rolled her eyes. Truth was he would have given anything to sleep in her arms but he didn't want to confuse her with their intimacies. He wanted her to know that he _really_ wanted to spend some time with her, before they could discuss whatever issues they were facing.

Pecking her lips tenderly, he bid her goodnight to spend the night on the sofa.

* * *

Tonks had taken the day off even if her date was for the evening. She wanted to prepare herself for the date before hand because she felt it was important. She had admitted defeat too easily, she had realized and now that she was given an opportunity, she was going to make the most of it. Maybe this was the start they needed to kick off again.

So here she was in her room at Burrow, with few dresses lying on the bed from among which she had to decide what to wear. She didn't posses best of dresses as she rarely wore them. Most of the dresses she had were gifted either by her mother or by her friends. One dress she liked in particular. It was dark green skater dress that came up to her knees. What she liked most about it was that it was off shoulder and had a flattering neckline.

Just as she was keeping away the rest of the dresses in the wardrobe, someone knocked on her half-open door.

Turning around she saw Ellie standing in the doorway and Tonks resisted the urge to slam the door on her face.

"Yes?" Tonks asked curtly.

"Mind if I come in? I heard you have a date tonight with Remus." She came a little inside the room, giving her an awkward smile.

"That I do." Tonks replied, going back to search her earrings. The whole of the Burrow knew by know that Remus and Tonks had a special date.

"I- oh well, I just thought I would check, help you if you need something. I hear it is your first official date."

Tonks tried hard to detect some mocking in her voice but she couldn't find any. Why was she here? "No, everything is fixed. Thanks you asking."

"Are you wearing that?" She asked curiously pointing at the dress lying on the bed.

"Yeah, problem with that?" She asked sweetly enough. The tension between them was palpable.

"No, no it is gorgeous... just the color..."

"It's Remus's favorite." She gave up the pretense of searching and looked her in the eye. What was her motive?

"Oh that I know. He loves dark green."

Suddenly it clicked in Tonks's mind that Ellie's eyes were dark green. _No, no, the shade of my dress and her eyes is entirely different..._

"But Tonks, don't mind but... he loves dark blue on a woman..."

_By woman you mean yourself because you are the only one he had been with besides me..._

"I am sure you'll look lovely in anything you wear but... dark blue does something for him, especially on your skin it would look lovely..."

Was she again trying to show that she knew more about Remus than her? Was she try to express that since Remus had loved blue on her, Tonks should wear blue too as some sort of replacement?

"I don't own anything blue."

"I can do a color charm, if you don't mind."

_Oh so that's what she is planning, spoiling my dress under pretense of coloring it?_ A very childish plan if someone asked her.

"Do it. Go ahead." Tonks moved from her way giving full access to Ellie to her dress. Tonks wanted to see just how she exactly stopped her from going on her date.

But Tonks blinked in surprise when Ellie did nothing to her dress other than turning it into a beautiful shade of dark blue.

"There you go. Now, it's perfect." She gave a half smile. "Well, best of luck for your date."

Just as Ellie turned Tonks called out.

"Wait. Can you color something else for me too?"

"Sure. What is it?"

Tonks went to her wardrobe and took out the strapless bra and lacy knickers of matching shade of green. "Can you please turn these to the same shade of blue too? I am sure Remus would love it."

Tonks did her best to hide her smirk as she saw a sour look cover Ellie's face. Obviously Ellie understood her implications. Nonetheless, she charmed them blue, this time without a smile, Tonks observed and hurried out of her room.

* * *

Tonks watched the waiter as he walked away after taking their orders. Even though her eyes were somewhere else, she could feel Remus's eyes on her.

"What?" She finally laughed out, not able to hide the blush as he watched her admiringly with a smile on his face.

"You look beautiful." He reached out and took hold of her both hands in his.

She rolled her eyes. Even though he told her that many times, it always brought a smile on her face. "You already said that when you came to pick me up."

"I know..." He held her hands in front of his lips and pressed a kiss. "It's just... that-that _dress_, it looks wonderful on you." He looked over rest of her body visible above the table, approvingly.

She was determined not to let her smile falter at his words. "I wanted to look good for you."

"You always look good; even if you are not wearing anything. In fact you look _best_ when you are not wearing anything." He replied with a dreamy look on his face.

"Remus!" She whispered and couldn't help as her blush expanded to her neck and shoulders.

"I mean..." He reached out and brushed the back of his fingers on the skin just above her deep neckline. "The color looks so lovely on you and it just seems so soft as if it is gliding over your skin." He reverently touched a small part of her dress.

"Are you complementing the dress or me?" She asked with raised eyebrows.

"You of course. The dress looks only good because you are wearing it." She ducked her head though she thought she heard him muttering. '_I would prefer nothing more than taking it off...'_

Before she could confirm if he had said what she had heard, the waiter came back with half of their order. Remus pulled away from her to give him space to keep the food and drinks.

Rest of the evening passed comfortably where Tonks managed not to break anything; it was a muggle restaurant and they couldn't do magic to cover her evidence of clumsy nature. Their conversation was light-hearted and fun, conveniently skipping over the depressing subjects that she was sure they had to talk about later that night.

* * *

Standing in front of her door he looked at her nervously as if it was the first time they were left alone together. After their dinner Remus had offered her to take home. She could have gone back to Burrow but she chose her flat if they needed privacy, just _in case_. He had said that they needed to talk, she just didn't know how this talking would take place or how their evening would end. Will they just talk or will they _do_ _something_ before talking?

"Come inside Remus; and stop being so formal. I think your motive for the date was that we could spend some time together having fun before we divert to some serious topic. Come in, now." She asked while holding his hand tenderly.

"Are you sure?"

"Oh shut up you." She rolled her eyes and clicked open her door.

For some reason her heart was beating loudly. Now she was the one being nervous. Before she could think further, Remus slipped off his coat that was draped on her shoulders. While walking back to her place, it had got pretty cold and Remus like a caring date had draped his own coat over her without any prompting.

As he dropped his coat on the arm of the chair, she shivered as a blast of cold draft hit her bare shoulders and legs. Trust her to leave the windows open.

"Cold?" he asked softly and brought his hands over her shoulders to rub them lightly. "Tea?"

"No, I am quite full. I'd rather something else warm me up." She whispered as she raised her chin towards his mouth, inviting him to press his lips against hers.

The kiss was soft and tender, filled with promises. He covered her shoulder with one hand while other traveled to her hairs as her hands planted firmly themselves on his chest.

She pushed harder to deepen their kiss but before she could glide her tongue over his, he pulled away.

She saw as he slowly opened his eyes; his lovely blue eyes, clear yet hooded with passion. "Slowly Dora. There's no hurry. I want to savor every part of your skin, just like our first time."

"I am sorry, I don't know where this urgency is coming from..."

"It's understandable, there's nothing more I would love than to take you right now... right here" She shuddered pleasantly at the growl in his eyes. "-but, we need to be slow. I want to relish you... I want to show you the time of your life." She couldn't help as a soft moan passed her lips as he whispered teasingly in her ears.

He kissed below her ear one last time before pulling away. He took hold of her hand and guided her to the sofa, which was surprisingly devoid of any clutter.

As she sat down, he knelt in front of her and took out his wand. Wondering why he needed his wand, thousands of kinky thoughts swept over her brain. But when he used his wand to shut the window, she didn't know if to be disappointed or to be pleased, after all the cold had been bothering her. Further he switched off all the lights but before the flat could get drowned in darkness completely, he swirled his wand in a circular motion and hundreds of candles appeared high above in the air, illuminating the living room with soft golden light. As she took in a deep breath, she was surprised to smell a soft fragrance of jasmine.

Merlin he could do such wonderful things with his wand. She couldn't even conjure so many candles at once, let alone _scented_ _candles_.

"Wow..." She breathed.

"Like it?"

In answer she simply breathed deeply. She immediately relaxed.

_God, first candle light dinner, now candle light sex..._

He took off his shoes and socks, pushing them beneath the sofa hurriedly. But when it came to sliding her sandals off, he did it so very slowly, letting his fingertips barely graze her skin in a tantalizing way.

"Just one last thing." He whispered. Holding his wand above in the air, she gasped as a blast of rose petals fell from the ceiling, covering them and the sofa with soft velvety petals. _Merlin, roses and jasmine, he was already killing her with the feel... _the feel of feathery and silky petals on her legs and shoulders was so sensual, and mix in the beautiful smell, she was on cloud nine already and he hadn't even touched her yet.

"It's so typically romantic Remus and yet I love it."

Caressing the back of her calves which made her toes curl, he answered. "I figured it might be cliched but it is cliched for a _reason_. It isn't wrong to indulge ourselves once in a while." He bent and placed a soft kiss on her knee.

Running her fingers through his hairs, she brushed off the petals off his hairs and giggled out. "You look so silly with all the petals all over you."

Keeping the eye contact with her, he took hold of her one hand, letting it slide over his jaw and neck, he brought them in front of his mouth and she was breathless _just like that_; her giggle dying in her throat. He kissed each of her finger tips, letting his tongue caress her soft skin. She sighed. She never would have thought that caress of such a mundane body part could turn her on.

Letting her hand fall, he ever so slowly leaned forward and placed an alluring kiss on her lips as his hands stroked her waist over the dress.

_I want to show you the time of your life..._

_I would prefer nothing more than taking it off..._

Remembering this enticing promises, Tonks felt tingle all over her body as his fingers teased the flesh of her neck as if playing a piano while his tongue did wonders in her mouth.

She wasn't sure anymore she could tolerate the slow pace.

"Remus..." She sighed as he left wet trail over her chin and jaw, proceeding to her neck and sucked softly over her pulsating vein. She couldn't help as her legs slowly curled around his legs. She wanted him all over her, wanted to feel his weight, but with his position on the floor, she was denied of that privilege.

Pulling away he looked at her with heavy-lidded eyes and she realized how much efforts it was taking for him to go slow. Rubbing his thumb over her lips he teased "Wanton witch."

She groaned out. "You are killing me..."

"Yet you are loving it." Losing no time he enveloped her waist in his arms, dragging her forward in a way that caused her head to fall back and leveling her chest to his face. Feeling his hot breathed over her clothed breasts, she almost went mad.

He placed wet and slow kissed above the neckline of her dress as his hands slowly crept back to the hook and zip of her dress. He zipped down the dress just a little, enough to drive her mad with anticipation.

"Remus, please..." She couldn't understand that how few minutes ago she was freezing and how now she was warm all over.

He blew cool skin over his wet kisses and inadvertently her hands grasped his hairs. Sensing her desperation, he granted her a little relief by pulling her dress down just enough to expose her dark blue strapless bra.

He sucked in a sharp breath and dropped his forehead on her collarbone. "Merlin you are dressed to kill..."

"Why so?" She asked a little uneasily.

He picked up his head, his gaze switching between her face and her chest. "Dora, this color, I don't know... it looks so _bewitching _on you..."

_On me or on Ellie, Remus? _The bitter part of her mind echoed with the words. Whole of the evening she had kept her thoughts of Wilkins away from her, away from them, determined not to let their evening spoil. But Remus's reaction proved that Wilkins was right yet again and that she had managed to wedge herself between them _again_.

"Tell me you have matching knickers on too?" He asked while placing a kiss between her breasts.

"Check out for yourself."

He shook his head. "Don't tempt me. I am determined to take this slow. I almost don't want to take it off... _almost_... Relax back..."

He placed his palm on her stomach and pushed her softly so the she lay comfortably leaning against the back of the sofa.

And then the torture began.

Once again placing his lips on her, his dancing fingers trailed to her back, zipping down the dress completely and letting it fall to her waist. Pulling away he watched her exposed body with greedy eyes.

"So beautiful... so gorgeous..." He whispered in a barely audible tone and she closed her eyes in pleasure as depreciating thoughts vanished.

Her eyes snapped open as she felt his mouth on her nipple, sucking through the cloth, very softly as if intending to kill her with pleasure.

She had never felt so trapped in her own bra. Her hands left his hairs to reach to her back to unhook it, but his strong hands stopped her.

"Lay still Dora, just enjoy..."

She whimpered as he mercilessly teased her breasts with his mouth and caressed them with his hands through the bra and she bit her lips to keep herself from moaning downright.

Finally, _finally_ after agonizing torture she felt his hands as they snapped opened her bra. Never had she felt more free, as he threw it across the room.

He again blew cold air on her already wet chest and she threw her head back as pleasure coursed through her spine.

"Remus, please take off your shirt, I want to see you, feel you..."

She wanted to touch him and pleasure him equally but he wouldn't allow it. As soon as her fingers would touch his buttons he would withdraw them away from himself firmly. He was determined to make this night about her and only her and secretly she was flattered.

Nevertheless, he granted her little wish by shedding away his shirt and unbuckling his belts, leaving just his trousers on.

He grabbed a fistful rose petals in his hands and poured them softly over her chest and stomach. The soft petals tickled her already sensitive body, making her hum.

He pulled her chin forward and kissed her softly on lips. "Look in my eyes and tell me how it feels. I want to hear you telling me, Dora..."

Merlin, she loved it when he was assertive.

He placed his fingers below her breasts and waited until he held her eyes completely.

She gasped as his thumbs lightly brushed her already attentive nipples, making them more hard if possible. And he repeated and _repeated_ until it was almost painful and she was unable to breathe...

"Tell me Dora..."

"Oh Remus... it...it feels..." She couldn't do it, she was incapable of speech. The look in his eyes was turning her on just as much as his thumbs.

"Yes Dora?" He asked calmly, his breath fanning her cheeks.

She bit her lips. "...so good..." She moaned out as he suddenly pressed her nipples back with his thumb.

"Do you want more? Does my Dora wants more?" He whispered in her ear, brushing his lips over her earlobe.

"Yes...yes _oh god yes_..." The throbbing need between her legs was compelling her to even plead.

He ducked his head as his lips replaced his one thumb. She moaned loudly as her legs automatically went around his waist, pulling him forward even uncaring that the sofa was in between. She wanted to feel him.

_Merlin the things this man could do with his tongue..._

"Please Remus please..."

"Had enough already? I am not even half done with you _my Dora_..." He smirked as he saw her writhing, clutching desperately at the cushions.

She wanted to tell him that she would make him pay for the torture he was doing but couldn't utter a word. All that came out was a whimper.

"Tell me Dora or you'd rather I left you like this?" He pulled away and she growled.

"Don't you dare, don't you..." She cried as suddenly his mouths latched to her nipple again but this time sucked with equal desperation that she felt. She hugged him and pulled him further, her hand on his head, encouraging him. He caught the sensitive tip between his teeth and caressed the tip of her nipple with the tip of his tongue. The heat, the warmth, it was swallowing her, it was consuming her...

She marveled at his tolerance as he gave same attention to her other nipple. Had it been any other man, he would have already given up trying to take things slow, but this was Remus, ever the attentive lover...

She was a quivering mess, a boneless mass and first time it felt as if she would come without even him touching her anywhere near below the waist.

Finally he pulled away and his hands went to the dress gathered at her waist and she could have cried out with joy had she been capable of speech.

He pulled her dress down completely, baring her legs. He stretched her legs a little apart and snuggled forward. Had she been not enjoying so much, she would have been worried about his knees.

But any thoughts about knees, inflamed or not, went out from her mind as she felt Remus inhaling sharply.

"Godric, you are so wet already..."

She blushed, she knew she was soaking and feared she would climax as soon as he would touch her.

Slowly he pulled down the waistband of her knickers which clung to her center as if reluctant to leave.

Finally naked, she felt as if she could breathe freely.

Gently Remus picked up her one leg and hooked it over his shoulder. She shivered as her oversensitive center felt slightest of friction.

Leaning forward he breathed deeply as he always did. "so good..." His whispered breath fanned her and she bit her lips desperately to seek control. He blew a sharp cold air and she cried out in pleasure.

"Merlin, woman I haven't even touched you yet..."

She almost sobbed with the effort to calm down. "Remus... Remus you are underestimating yourself... I-I am throbbing for you..."

"Oh god..." She felt his control break a little at her words. Seeing down, she blushed at their position. She was naked and he was shirtless; she was open to him with one leg over his shoulder and he was so near to her yet not touching.

He leaned forward, his long fingers separating her lips; just as he took a long lick, she lost it. She screamed as she came apart. Exactly that had happened what she had feared. Her climax took both of them by surprise. While she was coming, Remus had started to rub her center, sending more tremors down her body.

"Dora I didn't know you were so _aroused_." He dropped her leg and caressed her hips as she calmed down.

"I didn't know either."

Suddenly he smirked. "I did say I would show you the time of your life. But it's far from over my dear..." He gave her a predatory smile and kissed her belly button.

"Remus, do you want to pleasure me?" She asked breathlessly.

"More than you know"

"Then do something for me."

"Anything sweetheart."

"Allow me to pleasure you, nothing would make me happier."

"What-?"

"No questions. Come and sit at my place."

Within seconds, their places were changed, now Remus sat at the sofa whereas Tonks knelt in front of him. Just as she reached to unbutton his trousers, he caught her wrists.

"Dora... you don't have to do this, okay? And I doubt you want to do this." He spoke softly.

"Why ever not Remus?" She asked puzzled but didn't stop what she was doing. She unzipped his trousers and he lifted his hips to aid her in pushing them down anyway. "I may not have done this before with _you_ but it isn't like I haven't this at all to _anyone_."

Apparently this wasn't the right answer as he clenched his fist and his face formed an annoyed expression.

"I am a werewolf." He stated grimly.

"Which... is news to me?" She asked skeptically while staring at his massive hard on.

"No Dora..." He looked uncomfortable and she shifted her attention to his face instead. "You-you wouldn't want to go down on a werewolf."

She stared open-mouthed at him in astonishment; _that_ was what he was thinking? That doing this to him would be somehow degrading to her character or something equally rubbish just because he was a werewolf? Cupping his face she forced him to look at her.

"Are you mad? Were do such things come from in your head Remus? I love you alright? You silly man." accidentally her elbow brushed him above his boxers and he gasped.

She smirked at him and helped him in taking off the last clothing.

"I apologize you know." She said to him with a smirk as she cupped him in her small hands and he exhaled sharply. _He was so warm..._

"Whatever for?" He breathed out.

She kissed his tip slowly, darting her tongue out and tasting the salty liquid. Remus clutched her shoulders for support as an _Oh Dora_ passed his lips...

"I should have done this _long _time ago for you..."

He touched her face lightly and she looked at him with lustful eyes. "There's nothing you _should_ have... This all is secondary to me... what matters to me most is your company, your love." And _just like that,_ them both naked and she kneeling in front of him in a compromising position, he won her heart all over again with those simple words.

She stared into his eyes and took his hands that were on her shoulders, and threaded them through her hairs. "Tell me the pace you want to set." She whispered in what she hoped was very intensely.

And then she took him in her mouth.

Remus growled and his hold on hairs become almost carnal. It would have hurt if it wasn't _exciting _her so much. She ate him as if he was a fast melting ice cream and she wanted to savor each drop. Looking up into his face, her heart swelled with pride at his expression. He was breathing heavily and his eyes were shut and his mouth was open a little in soundless moans of pleasure...

As she scraped her teeth over him and fondled around he groaned out. "_Fuck!_"

She loved when he was vocal and the wonderful voices he was making right now, made her truly regret that she had never tried this with him before.

She sucked him and pulled out with a 'pop'. "Look at me Remus. Look at me kneeling in front of you, having my mouth all over you..."

He opened his eyes and she thought she saw barest of amber in that blue. She knew looking at her right now, will turn him on further as it always worked for her.

He loosened his hold on her hairs, only to secure his hands back again; his one hand cradled the back of her head while other gathered a fistful of hairs. He didn't say anything but pushed her forward a little, indicating her to go back to what she was doing. She smirked, loving this new side of him, where he lost all his inhibitions and told her what _he _wanted...

This time she engulfed him fully, gagging in process but determined to take the full length. He gave out the most wolfish growls. He let her set the pace first as she started bobbing her head up and down but soon it was his hands on her head and hairs that were guiding her head at the speed he wanted. And Merlin... he was so forceful... forceful, yes but never hurtful that she was incredibly stimulated at his assertive insistence. She loved this new Remus who didn't speak a word but gave out only moans, groans and growls.

He was always so adamant on pleasuring her that at times he made it almost impossible for _her_ to pleasure him. But this time he treated her like a lover to whom he not only gave pleasure but from whom he also _took_ pleasure.

As he neared the end, his hips started moving in coordination to her mouth, his thrusts became so fast that she couldn't figure out when he was inside her mouth and when he was not. At last few strokes, he forced his full length in her mouth and came with shots._..once..twice...thrice_... that would have made any normal woman gag or choke but she wasn't a normal woman, _no_.

He went limp as he fell forward, his head on her shoulder and his grip on her hairs slackened.

She pulled away as she felt him soften.

"God I just behaved like an animal." He mumbled.

"Don't. Remus." She said in a stern voice.

He pulled away and looked at her in worry. "Don't what?"

"Don't take back what you did, don't spoil it by regretting on it. You always do that. And know one thing, if you ever do something I don't like, I'll tell you, you don't have to fear about hurting me because before you could I'll tell you." She suddenly noticed the hypocrisy of her own words. She just said that she would tell him if he ever hurt her, yet she wasn't breathing a word of the Ellie thing to him. But they were going to talk, he had said, that had been the whole point of spending the time together.

"You like it?" He asked, still not convinced. He picked up his shirt from floor and wiped her lips with the sleeves.

"Yes. If you ever do anything I don't like, I'll tell you, can you trust me on that?"

"Okay. I can trust you with my life. And I do."

"Well now that it's settled" She asked while rubbing his stubble with her cheek. "-how long will it take for you to get hard again?"

He chuckled and picked up some rose petals from the surface and showered it above her head. "With you like that, all naked and looking sexy, it will take no time at all..."

With that he picked her up from the floor and he swallowed her gasp with a kiss as she automatically wrapped her legs around his waist.

He carried her to the desk and threw away all the items on the floor with a single sweep of his hand.

Placing her on the edge of the desk he asked. "Comfortable?"

"Yes." She breathed out.

He took hold of her one leg and carefully hooked it over his shoulder. She gasped at the feel as she was left completely open for him to take.

He kissed her tenderly and she felt his slender fingers caressing her center, making her shudder. He dipped the tip of his finger inside her, just barely giving her the taste of what was about to come.

She nearly came apart at the intense look with which he stared in to her face, almost _shamelessly_; as if he wanted to see the evidence first hand of what he was doing to her.

He lubricated the tips of his all fingers with her wetness, which traveled upwards to tease the sensitive nub; the most erogenous zone of her anatomy. He tickled and teased, he caressed and stroked, he pressed and pinched, he flicked and swished and she almost sobbed with pleasure at his ministrations.

"Remus... Remus..." She kept mumbling without any mind as if she wasn't a human but just a sensitive bundle of nerves.

"Dora..." he kissed the back of her ear and completely slid in his middle finger, twisting it inside her.

She moaned as he added another finger and both the fingers wrecked havoc inside her as they caressed her inner walls delicately.

"Do you like it, Dora? My fingers inside you? Look down Dora and look where my fingers are..." He goaded her as he licked her bottom lip.

She shivered at his words, and couldn't help as a blush covered her body as she unintentionally looked down to see his fingers disappearing inside her and then sliding out.

She felt as if she would black out with utter pleasure as he entered his third finger, pumping them slowly, caressing her and his thumb rubbed her sensitive nub.

"I want you to come again Dora, for me... I want you to come on my fingers, I want to feel you clenching around them..." He looked in her eyes and commanded her as suddenly his fingers curved inside her hitting the soft spot and she came with a loud cry. He started pumping in and out rigorously, extending her climax further. Her eyes rolled back and her back arched, throwing her breasts in front of his face to which he didn't miss the chance to lick and suck as well.

Pleasure such pleasure traveled in the pit of her stomach. It was like he was all over at once, his fingers both gentle and firm made her twitch and gasp continuously, his tongue and lips sucked and teased her breasts, while his eyes devoured her with their vision. He kept encouraging her by calling out for her, by rambling mindless things: _yes, yes... come for me Dora... you are so hot... yes oh god yes Dora..._

She finally slumped forward, completely exhausted.

"Holy shit Remus..." He caressed her hair and placed a loving kiss at the back of her head.

But they were far from done.

He rubbed himself at her center and she twitched with sensitivity. He pulled her hairs back and kissed her neck. "I love you Dora."

She pulled back to answer but before she could say anything, he pushed into her.

Joining their foreheads together she exhaled at the feeling of completeness. As her leg was over his shoulder, the angle did wondrous things to their love making.

She grasped his hairs for purchase as she felt him speeding up ever so slightly. Her already sensitive body was on fire as he pulled all the way out only to push deeper to places that have remained unexplored. Unwillingly she clenched her muscles around making him groan. "Fuck Dora... don't to that... I'll come right away." He breathed out.

And she did it again. "Who says I don't want you to do exactly the same?"

Increasing up his pace he answered back, "Ladies first." The sound of flesh hitting flesh turned her on more than the jasmine candles and rose petals.

She wrapped her free leg around his waist to pull him deeper if possible while he clutched her hips desperately as the desk rattled with their movements.

"Lady my foot Remus, come inside me, come inside me just like you were shooting down my throat few minutes ago." He groaned at her words and pressed his nose in her cheek.

Suddenly a sharp knocking voice made them jump, momentarily stopping their activities though still attached.

"What was that?" She asked, panting.

"No clue." He almost started again as the sound came again.

"Remus, window, it's an owl."

He craned his neck to look at the window and spotted a small owl hovering.

"Don't care." He barely mumbled, pressing his lips back to hers, starting to set up a pace again.

Normally she would have been worried about the poor owl fluttering in cold but she was typically in throes of passion to care.

"Faster, Remus... harder..."

He started pounding harder when the owl tapped on the window again.

"Forget it." He brushed past the words. Though they both ignored, a nagging voice in their voice had started saying that it might be something urgent, times were dangerous after all...

He pushed harder and ground into her fiercely. "_Shit, Remus, yess... just like that... Of fuck fuck Remus..._"

The owl tapped desperately and giving an indignant hoot, spoiling their concentration.

He pounded harder in her as if determined to ignore the tiny being. "D_ora, Dora, Dora, my love, fuck, you are so tight... feel so wonderful... so slick..._" He started muttering in her ears to drown out the sound of the consistent tapping.

Grabbing hold of her leg that was draped around her waist, he delicately placed it over his shoulder too and she cried out at the angle which created entirely new sensations.

She crossed her ankles behind his head and grabbed hold of the edges of the desk with her shaking hand to maintain the balance, marveling at her own flexibility.

He started thrusting so hard in her that she feared that desk might give away.

"Shit Dora, this feels...you feel... even tighter..." His teeth were clenched and he struggled to stare in her eyes, hairs stuck to his forehead and she longed to side them with her hand. He looked so beautiful...

The owl screeched loudly, making a sound they never would have thought a owl was capable of making.

"Go, take the blasted owl. Creepy bird." she muttered, There was no point in doing what they were doing if they couldn't enjoy completely. "Take it and then we can go back..." She trailed off as a sigh escaped her lips as he slowly slipped out from her.

He almost angrily picked come his wand, opening the window, not waiting for the owl to fly but summoning it and hastily taking the parchment tied in its leg.

"Easy Remus..." She tried to calm him down his obvious annoyance at the intrusion.

"Go now, shoo, go..." He hurried away the owl as the window closed after the owl with a bang and she chuckled at his distress.

He was about to throw the letter, his hand was already on her leg as if wanting to join them back as soon as possible when he noticed whom the letter was from.

"It's from Burrow."

"But they already know that we are together and they wouldn't disturb us until necessary." She said in concern.

He looked at her with worry and tore open the letter, his words hurriedly scanned the letters as he took in the words. "Shit."

"What?" Her heart thumped violently as she thought that something horrible has happened.

Without giving her a single glance he passed to the letter and started searching for his clothes frantically.

Confused and scared at his hurry she looked at the letter.

_Remus,_

_Ellie is a little sick. There's no need to worry as I and Poppy had taken care of it. I wouldn't have bothered you at this time, when I obviously know you are busy and also seeing as there was nothing serious, but Ellie wouldn't stop asking for you. And I had to write you this on her insistence._

_You can come and see her in the morning._

_Enjoy your evening with Tonks._

_Molly._

Anger that knew no limits bubbled in her stomach. She looked over at Remus who had already donned his shirt and was now searching for his trousers. He had a huge frown on his face. It wasn't the face of a man who had been inside his lover mere seconds ago.

"Remus? _She's fine_. Molly said so in the letter. There's whole Burrow to take care for her, even Poppy is there." She called him desperately.

Pulling up his trousers he answered, "You don't understand Dora. She had started the memory recovery therapy today with Poppy. She even asked me to stay but I told her I had some plan with you. That's why Poppy is there with her. I know she's with the best but she would need me."

"Remus, it's nothing severe or else Molly would have told so in the letter." Desperation crept her voice. She was standing here fully naked and he didn't care an ounce for her; all on his mind was Ellie, even when they had been having a wonderful time.

Picking up his belt, he fastened it in a haste. "She's my responsibility. Not Molly's." He picked up his coat and clumsily pressed a kiss to her forehead. "I am sorry." He ran out of the door before she could have even blinked.

She slid down on the floor as if in daze.

She couldn't believe what had just happened.

And she was so sure that it was a ploy on Ellie's part to spoil their evening.

But that wasn't bothering her.

What bothered her was Remus's reaction.

He had ran out for her, without even sparing a glance at her. He had left her naked, wanting, open and vulnerable.

Even when Molly had specified it in her letter that she was fine, that there was no need to come.

Had things been worse, she herself would have send Remus to Ellie.

She picked up a paperweight that had fallen on the floor and threw against the wall in rage. The thump indicated that it would have left a permanent dent.

_What the hell had happened?_

Weren't they going to talk after this? Weren't they going to solve their issues?

Last time when he had promised her that they would talk about their wedding date, that discussion too had been spoiled by Ellie.

This time when they were taking steps again to bond, this too was spoiled by Ellie.

What hurt her the most at the moment in the way he had left her. He had been mindlessly fucking her moments ago just a word from Ellie and he didn't even bothered to ask her if she was okay, if she would like to come with him.

He could have at least waited for her until she got dressed.

She took in a shuddering breath as tears filled her eyes. The jasmine spell and the sight of petals, irritated her to no end.

She dropped down to the floor and sobbed her heart out, as first time in a month her hairs turned back to mousy brown.

Next time, he won't be leaving. It will be her doing the leaving.

* * *

_A/N: I hope you aren't getting frustrated, thinking that all that has happened so far in the story is that Ellie has been manipulative and Remus & Tonks are breaking apart. But I request you to have patience. Soon, there will be explanation for everything. I can't say with whom Remus will end up without spoiling the fun, but I assure you as I said there will be explanation for everything, whom ever he chooses._

_And how many of you thought after seeing the chapter title that it was going to be a date between Remus and Ellie?_

_If this chapter's ending frustrated you again, I hope you at least enjoyed the smut as I have always felt that there isn't enough RLNT smut in the world!_

_Did I tell you all that I love your reviews? Please keep giving me your lovely feedback. Thank you :)_


	14. The leaving

Ever since he had started his walk to Tonks's flat, he was feeling an unusual sense of dread. Even though times were bad, it was unsafe everywhere, he had chosen to walk to calm his nerves instead of apparition. Sky was cloudy and there was a possibility of rain yet it was all quiet as if it was the silence before the storm.

He hadn't even got a chance to glance at Tonks's face in past four days. She hadn't come to Burrow nor to her flat, and if Kingsley wouldn't have informed him that she was staying at Ministry headquarters, he would have gone mad with worry. He wanted to talk to her but he wasn't allowed to visit Ministry headquarters for obvious reasons.

Still, he had thought to give it a try to her flat, hoping against hope that she would be there today as he had sent her a message through Kingsley that he wanted to meet her urgently. She hadn't replied but there was no harm in checking.

Finally he reached her door, after climbing the numerous stairs. Standing in front of her brown colored door, he took a deep breath and unlocked it.

First thing he noticed that it was all black, second he noticed lingering smell of jasmine and rose. Carefully switching on the lights, he took in the scene.

His gaze was immediately drawn to Dora sitting morosely on the sofa, her legs tucked in, head bowed with brown hairs. She gave no response to his arrival as she didn't even look up.

Feeling his heart beating at a faster pace, he looked around the room. The candles were still hanging up in the air, though now extinguished and the magical petals he had conjured still were there just as he had left, though they had turned to a brownish shade, giving off only a faint smell.

The things which had made the ambiance romantic, now gave an unsentimental feeling.

Slowly approaching her still form, he spoke softly. "Dora, why are you sitting in the dark...love?" Her posture unnerved him, as if indicating that something horrible was about to happen.

When she didn't respond, he knelt in front of her, tried to catch a glimpse of her face.

When she looked up he nearly flinched. There were dried tear tracks on her face, her eyes were red and she stared at him blankly.

"Where have you been Remus?" She asked quietly.

"I..." He swallowed. _What has happened to you Dora? _"I just needed to run some errand for Order."

"What errands exactly Remus?"

"I..." He hadn't thought that far before he had said. "Just..."

"Or do you now include gallivanting with Ellie in Order businesses?"

At her simple tone he felt as if earth had shattered beneath his knees.

He looked away in shame, unable to look in to her piercing eyes.

"Are you having an affair with Ellie, Remus?"

Startled he looked back at her and wasn't ready at what he saw. He saw pure disappointment and resentment on her face.

"What...?" He breathed out barely able to believe. "God... No Dora... How- what... what are you saying?" he whispered.

He reached out to touch her face when she pushed away his hand. "DON'T TOUCH ME!"

She got up with force, nearly knocking him to the ground.

"You have been LYING TO ME SINCE GOD KNOWS WHEN! WHAT ELSE AM I SUPPOSED TO THINK?" She shrieked and he got up, suddenly desperate for her to understand.

"Nymphadora, you are taking this in entirely wrong way. This was the reason I didn't want to tell you in the first place because I knew it would hurt you-"

"HURT ME? IS IT NOT HURTING ME NOW?" She looked at him with rage. "Why it wouldn't hurt me to learn that my fiance has been lying on my face and.. oh Merlin such _horrible_ lies... you told me you were going for an interview, that you were going to your father's, that all was lie wasn't it Remus? And you expect me not to get hurt? IF YOU HAD NOTHING TO HIDE WHY DID YOU LIE TO ME!" He saw the strain all the shouting was taking on her. She was breathing heavily and her pulse was jumping in her neck.

"Sit down, Dora and I will tell you everything. Please." He begged.

"Everything? What is there to tell Remus?" She suddenly strode forward and grabbed the lapels of his robes "How will you look in to my eyes and tell me that you don't love me? That you love someone else? THAT YOU LOVE ELLIE?"

"I DON'T LOVE HER." he shouted, unable to take that accusation. He cupped her face, she didn't push him but continued to stare at him with teary eyes. "I love _you_, Dora, I love you, and you know that."

"No I don't know Remus." Her quiet reply was like a slap to his face.

"Dora... How can you say that?" He asked, heart-broken at her statement.

"I can say because I have seen it from my eyes... you have chosen her again and _again_ over me, Remus..."

"I never chose her Dora. I told you she is my responsibility, her magic is weak, she needs someone until she isn't strong enough. I am helping her Dora, she's my friend, I love her like a friend..."

She pulled away from his hands and turned to shakily sit on a chair. "From where I am standing Remus, it doesn't looks like that you are helping a friend... she seems like so much more to you than a friend... if she were to come here right now asking for _help_ or something, I am sure, confident that you will leave this conversation right here, that you would leave and go with her..."

"Are you telling me that you wouldn't do the same Dora if someone asks your help? We are Order members, helping innocent people is our second nature..."

"But she's NOT innocent. She's doing this DELIBERATELY! It's a ploy on her part to get you back..."

"No..no Dora..." He whispered and sat down tiredly on the sofa. "No, sweetheart you have it all wrong... she isn't like that..."

Tonks narrowed his eyes and looked at him. "How can you trust her, how can you trust her _now_ when she gave you the love potion, when she tried to deceive you?"

"Because I Keep thinking about what it is like for her!" He said loudly enough to make her flinch. "I keep thinking that what if same thing would have happened with me? What if I would have awaken up in a different time to only to see that you are settled with some one else? I know Dora, that it would _crush_ me if I ever saw you with another man the way you are with me... and therefore I know her pain too... If I would have been at her place, I can't guarantee that I wouldn't have done the same thing no matter how foolish it would have been... the Ellie I knew would never have stooped so low but if she did, that means her pain was unbearable. I am not saying what she did was right, if you remember I was angrier at her than you were, I made her apologize you because I know what she did was wrong but I also get why she did it..."

"You think I don't know? You think I don't feel or I am insensitive? I sympathize with her, but she has to accept what has happened, there's no easy way for it... yet it is not her doings that hurts me Remus. It's _yours_... It breaks my heart again and again to..." She broke off as tears fell down her face.

"This is about Bill's wedding isn't it?" He asked softly.

She merely closed her eyes in pain.

"Dora..." He got up and dragged a chair to sit in front of her. "I'll admit that was a mistake. I should have said no to her and I _did_ say no to her, I told her that I was waiting for you; yet she persisted again and again saying that technically it's been sixteen years since I last danced with her and that I have been dancing with you the whole evening. And you know me... how difficult it is for me to say no... I agreed yet I told her that as soon as you'd come, I will excuse myself. But I didn't see you. And when I did, you...were storming away...and please don't think that I didn't come after you because I did but you had already left..." He explained it to her, silently pleading it to understand.

"You...kept saying no to me Remus for a whole year, at that time it wasn't difficult for you to say no?" She asked with simple innocence on her face.

He sighed and closed his eyes at her words. "I regret that more than you'll ever know..."

"If..if tomorrow Ellie asks you to marry him, will you say yes just because it is difficult for you to say no?"

He shook his head in anguish. "How do I explain it to you? Tell me how do I prove it to you that for me, it's only you and _you_? I'll happily give away my life if you want me to..."

"No, Remus... I cannot _ask_ you to love me. That is something you'll have do to with your own will. I just want you to think whom it is you want. Me or Ellie? Because...because...I-I..th-think..." She swallowed, "I think you love her."

He stared back at her incredulously, as she looked down, tears clinging to her eye lashes. He leaned back in defeat.

After staring at her for ages, after the silence had continued for long, he answered grimly.

"I don't love her." It hurt him that she didn't trust his love but it shouldn't have come as a surprise, after all he had pushed her away for a year.

She shook her head and with great difficulty looked at him. Whatever she was about to say, it was hurting her already. "I think you need to set your priorities straight. She's your first love and since you are mine... since you are my first love, I, for a fact know that first love is impossible to overcome, it's possible to move on from... from my point of view, from how I have seen things, it seems to me that you still love her you just don't realize it yet. If-If you'll see deep into your heart, you'll know that you-you..." She wasn't able to complete.

Nothing, _nothing_ infuriated him more when his love and loyalty were questioned. Yet he calmed himself as anger flared in him. He told himself that it was hurting her as much as it was hurting him. "This- all first love nonsense... I don't believe in it. I believe in true love. _One true love_. And for your information, she _was_ my first love, not _is_. I love you. It is as simple as that." He knew he sounded edgy.

"She's a better match for you Remus." She spoke very quietly that he had to strain his ears to hear. She didn't look up just stared at her lap hopelessly. "I have seen you both together, you both complement each other. With her you laugh yourself and not just concentrate on making her laugh... with her you are yourself, you don't try to please her hard as if afraid that she would flee away. Your... _friendship_... with her is not an outcome of war but because you both _genuinely_ like each other." She spoke in monotonous tone as if repeating someone else's mugged up lines.

"And my love for you is an outcome of war? _Is that what you think_? That since we are so different, I only love you because I need someone to get me through this war? Do you really think so low of me Dora?"

"No, Remus." She finally looked up. "You are one of the best men I have ever met. You are gentle and noble... and thus I fear that... if I stay in your life... you... you wouldn't do what makes you happy, and in this case Ellie makes you happy."

"What exactly... do you mean by '_if I stay in your life'_..." He asked cautiously dread filling him up.

"I think you need time...and space to mull things over, to... as I said, to set your priorities straight... So I..."

"You what Dora? What are you doing?" He leaned forward and caught her hands in his in fear that she might disappear.

"You know the war in Ireland wizardry, right?"

"Yes what about it?"

"It's gone pretty bad... worse than it is here... Irish Ministry needs help..." She hesitated.

"Nymphadora Tonks tell me right now, what is it that you have done?" He asked very pointedly.

"Aurors from our Ministry were allowed to volunteer... and it was at least a month's assignment... I signed up for it. I am leaving tomorrow."

He stared at her for a long period as if expecting her to exclaim that she was joking.

"Alright Dora, enough of it now, okay?" He cupped her face in his hands. "Whatever it is, we will talk and solve, like grown ups, you are _not_ leaving did you hear? Merlin how could you take such a big decision before even telling me?"

"I am sorry Remus. I have to go. It is necessary-"

"IT IS NOT NECESSARY!" He got up, toppling his chair backwards. "I can not let you go okay? _It will kill me_! Civilians are not even allowed at present in the Irish Ministry camps and that would mean I wouldn't even get to see you, let alone talk to you..."

"That's the whole point Remus, to give you time, to give you space, so that you can spend ti-time with Ellie and... with me here it won't be possible."

He groaned in annoyance. "I don't want to spend time with Ellie, Nymphadora. Please don't be so reckless. The Order needs you right now, god knows I need you, what if something happened to you there I won't be able to tolerate... Dora please don't do this to me... I love you..."

"You don't understand Remus. I'll never be able to live with myself if you spent your lifetime with me wishing I were someone else. I have to be sure!"

"Dora what's gotten in to you?" He strode to her and clutched her shoulders in a strong grip.

"I _have_ to do this Remus. You have to see this from my point of view. I have been lied to, I have been ditched on numerous occasions in your pursuit of other woman, it hurts me yet I want your happiness, I want you to be happy so I have to leave. Accio bags."

A travelling bag came out of her room on its wheels.

He couldn't believe his eyes. It was happening right in front of him yet he couldn't do anything to stop.

"Dora, Listen to me..." He came in her way just as she was about to clutch the bag's handle . "You can't leave, I can't live without you, please believe me I know my heart and I know who it belongs to, its you Dora..." he spoke out urgently.

Tears fell freely from her eyes and he couldn't stop his own from dropping. In a desperate attempt to make her understand, he pressed his lips to hers and kissed her frantically and for a glorious moment she kissed him back but pulled away abruptly. "I am getting late."

She pushed past him and ignored his last tug at her hand. Just as she was at the door, he said in distress.

"You are leaving me _too_. Like everyone else I have ever loved, you are leaving me too..." He swallowed the lump in his throat.

She turned shakily and took a shuddering breath. Raising her eyes to him, she smiled weakly but it did nothing to quell the panic in his heart. "One day you might thank me Remus." And slowly she reached for her finger of left hand.

He felt as if he had been struck by lightning. "NO!"

She jumped.

"Dora... no, you can't give that to me... it belongs to you and only to you and I swear to Merlin if that ring leaves your finger I'll throw it away in garbage, I won't take it back."

"Later you may want it back Remus." She said sadly and for a moment he entertained the preposterous idea that someone had imperioused her.

He walked forward and palmed her left hand. "That day will be the last day of my life, I swear upon you, I swear upon everything I have ever held dear." He kissed her hand gravely as his tears fell on the diamond of the ring. "I don't know why you are going-" He looked up in to her deep eyes, fearing that it might be the last time he saw them. "-but for some insane reason and consequences I am not able to stop you. And-and if something happened to you there in that horrible place, I know that _I'd die._"

She pressed her fingers on his lips to stop his words but he didn't stop. Kissing them he pulled away to speak. "You are taking a piece of my soul already and I want you to keep this ring. If you have ever loved me, keep this ring. Don't wear if you don't want it but please..."

"I have always loved you Remus." She whispered thickly.

He embraced her fiercely when he finally realized that he couldn't do anything to stop her. Burying his face in her neck, he tried to choke back his sobs but was only half successful. "Please come back to me Dora, as soon as you can, I'll be waiting for you, just know that. Please be safe.'' His voice was muffled in her shirt.

She pulled away and pressed one last trembling chaste kiss to his lips before walking away from him and his life.

He watched her with acute pain in his chest, until she vanished.

Shutting the door behind him with a bang, he slid to the floor wondering where the hell had he gone wrong.

* * *

_A/N: Okay, Phew!_

_See? He has always loved her! I have even written it in the summary of the fic ' Or has there never really been a choice?'_

_Now I need to say few things. Earlier I had decided to say these things at the end of the story but seeing the distress of my dear readers, I have decided to say it now._

_Firstly, I want to tell why I wrote this fic. I have came across many Remus/Hermione, Remus/Ginny, Remus/Sirius, Remus/Snape, Remus/OC and even Remus/Rita skeeter fics, in which Remus chooses others over Tonks. As well in the RLNT fandom I have barely come across a fic where Remus chooses Tonks over someone else._

_As Remus/Tonks is one of my favorite couple, I wanted to explore this area, where Remus would choose Tonks._

_Now, coming to the point. In this whole fic up to now, Remus never indicated that he was romantically interested in Ellie. In chapter four he even went as far as to say that he loved Tonks more than he had ever loved Ellie._

_Questions were raised that Remus is getting easily manipulated. But if you noticed so far, Ellie's manipulative actions have been mostly directed to Tonks. She manipulated her by playing all that game over cake, showing that she knew more about Remus. She planned deliberately to Tonks walk up on them when she was feeding him cake so that Tonks could see that they were getting close even if in reality that wasn't the case. She planned for Tonks to overhear the conversation between Claudia and herself (though Claudia was innocent). So, she kept trying to arise doubts in Tonks's mind mainly; her actions were directed mainly on Tonks whereas Remus was unaware._

_Coming to Ellie, yes, she is manipulative. Seeing her world turn upside down in just in blink of an eye, Ellie went sort of mad. She wanted to do anything she could to get her earlier life back. And in that pursuit, she started playing dirty games. Though from inside she often felt guilty because being manipulative wasn't her true nature. Once upon a time, she was a kind and genuine woman._

_Now, coming to Remus. Yes, Remus lied to Tonks. I'll come to that but before I'll throw some light on one of Remus's attributes. JK Rowling said that one of Remus's character flaw was that he likes to be liked. If you remember in books, in Harry's third year, he kept the knowledge of Sirius being animagus hidden from Dumbldedore even though at that time he hadn't known that Sirius was innocent. He had felt guilty back then too and had said that he acted too cowardly. Also, throughout his life he must have given countless excuse to people to hide his lycanthropy. Therefore he hesitated in telling Tonks the truth because he knew there was already tension between Ellie and Tonks after love potion incident and didn't want to make matters worse. Yes, he could have said no to Ellie but he felt obligated(to which I will come to later) towards her. He didn't say anything to Tonks because he feared that she might feel hurt, which she felt at the end anyway despite his best efforts to protect her heart. He had initially planned to tell Tonks the truth just after the first time he told the lie but obviously Ellie was careful to never let that happen. Add to that Remus' guilt, he was further scared to say anything. Though he knew very well that he was doing wrong. So, he told her lies not because he didn't love her but because he loved her and was scared that she might get hurt._

_Now, coming to Ellie and Remus. Remus has no friend left other than the Order and by friends I don't mean just marauders but other's too- Longbottoms and I am inclined to believe that many first Order members (Prewetts, Dorcas, Marlene, Benjy, Edgar Bones, etc) were his friends too, who all died. He literally was the only one remaining. He had no family only father with whom he remains distant. So, when Ellie came back suddenly, he was overwhelmed to have a friend back, never mind she was his girlfriend. They were friends, best friends, first. And now since she's alone he feels it's his responsibility to help her to stand again. How will it look if he left Ellie on her own to spend a comfortable life with Tonks not giving damn about what happened to Ellie? As he himself says in this chapter, that they are Order members, helping is in their nature._

_Remus left Teddy and Tonks to fight in the final battle, why? Because he prioritized Harry more? Not likely, because it was his duty, he was an Order member, he had signed up for this. He left his wife and son behind not because he didn't love them but because he wanted to make a better future for them. Similarly, Tonks left Teddy behind. Why? Did she not love her son? Of course she did but she as she said 'I couldn't stand not knowing' . She left because it was her duty. See what they are doing here? leaving their loved ones behind to fulfil their duty, because they feel they are equally responsible for a better future._

_Yes, Remus loves Ellie but like a very dear friend. How can he deny his best friend, how can he deny to help her when he isn't even aware that he is being manipulated? To him, she's an innocent and vulnerable person._

_Remus said yes to Ellie for a dance, but he explains his side of story above. He left Tonks in the last chapter at a crucial point because he had been waiting for the last shoe to drop, that when his another friend would be taken away from him. Yes, he acted hastily but everyone makes mistakes._

_Ellie tries to fill things in Remus's mind again in chapter eleven by pointing out that they had nothing in common, but he thought nothing of it. He didn't tell Tonks that he disliked blackberries because that would have made him sound ungrateful._

_That brings me to another thing. The love potion incident. How can Remus trust Ellie after that? He explains that in this chapter. Because he loves Tonks he understands what desperation makes you do. He was angry too if you remember, he had said: Ellie, I think you need to apologize to Nymhadora. What you did had hurt her more than it would have ever hurt me, and that's something I won't stand for, even from the people who mean so much to me. You forced me to cheat on her, something which I consider to be most unrighteous._

_Even after that he forgives her because he is forgiving. And he trusts her never do the same again because he knew the Twenty one year old Ellie who never repeats her mistake._

_So, I hope I made pretty clear that Remus had always eyes for Tonks. And Tonks is acting like just any other woman would in such a situation._

_Further explanations, will be in upcoming chapters._

_Lastly, I know there hasn't been any action with war in this fic so far and I am afraid there won't be any._

_I am a very novice writer and one of the reason I kept this story AU was to simplify the plot because I am not good at writing about battles, war strategies mainly action, not yet anyway. I am learning. I know this is one of my short comings of this story therefore I have shown it that at present Ministry has not fallen, Death Eaters are wrecking havoc, yes but they aren't out in the open yet. So, I apologize that things aren't exciting on that part._

_Now, I believe me Author's note just got bigger than the chapter. Anyways, I would appreciate further criticism and feedback._

_Thank you :)_


	15. Aftermath

He had taken to living in Dora's flat and had isolated himself from everyone. Just whenever there would be an Order meeting, he would ask someone to fill him in later. He would go on missions, patrols that were necessary for the Order, but otherwise his interaction with his friends was minimal. About one week had passed since Dora had left and he hadn't set his foot in Burrow.

The past one week had been hell but living at her place helped a little. Seeing her things everywhere helped him in pretending that she was just out for a moment and that she would be coming back soon. But at nights, he had trouble sleeping. Visions of war and battle would haunt him or more precisely, Dora caught in those battles haunted him.

He was worried sick. He now acutely understood what Dora must have gone through when he was underground- among dangerous people with no contacts and communication at all.

He tried not to clean her place much. Though he was the tidy one in the relationship, he didn't want her to complain that her flat was _too neat_ when she returned. That is, _if_ she ever returned.

Shaking his head from the rueful thoughts he entered the bathroom. He stripped naked and stood below the cool spray of water. There were so many memories of her everywhere that sometimes it was a torture to live here alone. Running his hands through his hairs, he closed his eyes and sighed heavily, letting the cold water calm his burning face.

His tears mixed with the water and flowed down the drain.

* * *

He opened her wardrobe to take out his clothes, lightly touching her clothes first to feel the fabric glide through his fingers.

Hearing the knock on the door, he hurried and shouted, "Coming!"

Dressing up, he exchanged the security questions and opened the door.

"What are you doing here?" He asked.

"Yes, good morning to you too Remus." Ellie smiled pleasantly.

Muttering a sorry, he gave way to her to enter.

He closed the door to see her observing the unknown place.

"How did you apparate here?" He wondered as Ellie didn't know where Tonks lived.

"I asked Fred to apparate me." She answered, turning to look around.

He nodded at the acceptable answer. "Tea? I was just going to make myself some."

"Alright then."

He walked to the kitchen and she followed.

Picking up the kettle, he prepared the tea ingredients, setting aside two cups for them. Ellie looked around and picked up a third cup that was kept in a corner, slightly larger and was flowery pink.

"Nice, this one." She appraised, raising it in her hands.

Remus looked up from the kettle and gently pried the cup out of her hands. "It is." He muttered and placed the cup at a secure place in a cupboard. Unlike so many things of Tonks's this cup was typically girly, it looked more like an Umbridge belonging than hers, yet for some reason she loved this cup.

"You are not happy to see me Remus." Ellie said slowly and he cringed.

Sighing he rubbed his face warily. "It's not that, I just wasn't expecting company so early in the morning."

"You weren't expecting company _at all_ Remus." She raised her hand and placed it lightly on his head, her thumb stroking slightly behind his ear. "I heard from Bill that... Tonks left."

The shrill whistle of the kettle didn't make her jump but it gave Remus a reason to pull away. Pouring the water he asked her, "Bill returned?"

"Yes, two days ago."

Placing the cups on the table, he sat on the chair. Ellie following his lead, sat diagonally to him.

"Remus, don't ignore this and don't avoid us. You can always talk to me." She implored.

It would be hard for Remus to talk about this to anyone let alone Ellie. How will he tell her that she was the reason that Tonks had left? And as it was, it was difficult for him to look her in the eye for longer, knowing that somewhere they have broken apart because of her. Though he didn't blame Ellie in the slightest. Yes, she might still love him but it wasn't as if she had asked for it.

"There's nothing to talk."

"Did-did you people broke up?" She asked in a hesitant way.

"I don't know." He answered back truthfully, sipping his tea so that she couldn't see the pain on his face.

"I had no clue that you both were having problems."

"I had no clue either."

"Remus!" She sighed in frustration. "Don't be so cryptic." She stood up and sat next to him. She placed her hand on his back and rubbed it in soothing motions. "Remus, don't bottle this up. Look at your face, you aren't even sleeping well."

"Full moon was two nights ago." He barely reacted to her proximity and kept staring in his empty cup. The full moon had been horrible as if the wolf had known that his mate was gone.

"I know. Do you want me to make some potion that might help?"

"No, I am fine now..."

"Look I understand how hard it is for you but you can't go on like this forever." She came closer and bent so that she could look at his face. "Let me help you Remus..." Her one hand were in his hairs now brushing softly while the other caressed his shoulder. "Come out with me, take a break, I know you have barely stepped out from this place. We'll... we'll go somewhere, have our favorite ice cream and we both will have some fresh air to breathe, it might clear your mind."

He sighed and got up slowly, taking his empty and her half full cup to the sink. "I know you want to help Ellie and I appreciate that but... right now I want to be left alone." He turned around to see her standing close to him. "Please, don't take it personally but I-I would prefer to be alone."

She sighed in defeat and brushed his hairs from his forehead. "I'll not leave you that easily Remus, I know you are hurting and I want to cheer you up. Today I am going but I will come back and you won't make any excuses then, alright?"

"Okay..."

She hugged him, placing her chin over his shoulder. "Take care of yourself, Remus."

Kissing him on the cheek, she bid him goodbye and left.

Over the course of next three weeks, true to her words, Ellie did came to meet him often. Sometimes she would bring dinner along with her and sometimes they would cook together something simple. It was nice to have someone with whom he could reminisce his Hogwarts days and talk to. It was good to divert his mind momentarily from constant worry of Dora. It was good, yes, _but it wasn't enough._

He kept a small calendar beside his bed or more precisely Dora's bed; he crossed the dates on it that have passed and counted the days of her return. She had said that the assignment was least of one month though they could stay for longer if they wanted. He knew that after a period of one month, she would be free to come back. But what plagued him was the question- _will she want to come back?_

Her leaving had proved to him _even more_ that for him there was no one beside Dora; not that there ever had been a doubt in his head.

He snuggled further in to the sheets to protect himself from the cold as well as from the biting feeling her constant absence brought. He extended a hand towards the place where rightfully she should have been beside him in the bed. Closing his eyes, he prayed like every night that she would come back soon.


	16. Disclosure

He was drunk but it wasn't enough. He wanted to drown himself in alcohol, he wanted to completely blur the line between consciousness and unconsciousness. He had no idea what time it was but he knew that it was dark, _very dark_ and not just outside but around him too. His heart, thoughts and brain were submerged in darkness. All he knew was that he had to drink himself to death if possible. All concepts of rationale thinking had left his mind long ago.

It was too much, just too much to bear...

The door creaked open, the flat momentarily filling up with light from outside which vanished as soon as the door was closed. Someone flicked on a dim light. His only reaction was a wince. He picked up the second bottle of Firewhisky clumsily, making the empty bottle fall to the ground.

"Remus!" Someone called out. A feminine voice. Was it humanly possible to finish two complete firewhisky bottles? Well, he was going to try.

"Remus..." the owner of the voice sat on the sofa, next to him close, _too close_ and cupped his face to make him look at who ever it was.

He saw brown hairs. He picked up his shaking hands and touched those brown strands. The person was frowning, looking concerned and he awkwardly tried to wipe that frown from his thumb.

"Remus, what's wrong with you? Remus? _Remus?_ Answer me!" The voice sounded desperate and he painfully concentrated on the face, realizing it after few moments who it was.

"El-Ellie?"

"Yes, it's Ellie, your Ellie Remus... Remus what are you doing?"

Her question made him look at the bottle in his hand and he took a huge gulp. "Join me Ellie..." his voice was slurred. He picked up a glass with difficulty and poured her some. She took it with some hesitance. "To me, Remus Lup-Lupin, the loser."

"Remus what has happened?" She asked in concern and he could just see the tears in her eyes.

"You are Eliza Wilkins. I know you... Liza, Liza, aren't you?" He questioned.

"Yes.. Liza Remus..." He felt her hand stroking his cheek.

"Yes... red hairs and green eyes, I remember you..."

"That was Lily Remus. Lily Evans Potter."

"Hmmm... nice woman she was... I miss her... she made that yellow thing-yellow sticky stuff..." He put hard strain on his mind to remember but for the life of it he couldn't.

"Murtlap essence, she used to make Murtlap for you after full moons."

He shuddered at the mention of full moon. "I should eat mouse-_rats_ on full moons, you know... little trait-raito- bloody hell I am drunk..." He picked up his bottle and took a long swig.

"Do you mean traitorous?" The voice implored softly.

"Yess.. that only... I should eat them on full moons but... my wolf does not eat animals..."

"Oh Remus..." She turned his face to make him look at her and for a moment all he saw was dark green.

"You have green eyes too. Dora had-_has..._-had?...has?...has brown eyes. Big and round..." he tried to gesture with his forefinger and thumb the size of her eyes.

"Yes. You love my eyes Remus, remember? You used to say that you have never seen a lovelier pair..."

"Dora-" He took continuous shots from the bottle, the liquid lulling him further into a dream land where almost everything floated. "-she has brown hair too. Same shade of her eyes."

"But she's gone Remus..."

"Yes." He scrunched up his eyes in pain. Apparently he wasn't drunk enough as the pain he felt was still there.

"Don't drink so much Remus, you'll make yourself ill..."

"ill...lil..lillil..." He sang sadly. "I had a friend named Lily."

"I know Remus, she was my best friend too."

"Dora left me..." He hiccupped a dry sob.

"Let her go Remus, you are holding too tight, you have to let her go... Look at me sweetheart."

Dora caught his chin tenderly in her hand and turned his face towards her. "I am always there for you Remus." She said sweetly as she always used to say.

"Yes, you are there... you are here..."

"I am here Remus." Dora whispered and leaned forward, pressing her lips to his. He kissed Dora back; he wanted to raise his hands and run through her brown hairs but his hands were too heavy. Dora sighed in his mouth and he licked her lips clumsily.

Above the taste of alcohol, he felt a small taste of strawberry... strawberry lip gloss. Dora never wore strawberry lip gloss. Dora never wore lip gloss.

He slowly pulled away and peered at the person through his fringe. "You are not Dora... not Nym-dhapora... not her."

"I am Ellie Remus, your Liza."

"Ellie? When did you came? Why are your lips on mine...?" He slurred the question.

She pressed her lips to his suddenly, choking him as he had been about to take a breath from his mouth. She started kissing his neck and jaw and her hand wandered to his thighs. "Forget Dora, it's just me Remus. I am here you don't need anyone." She pressed her lips to his again and forced her tongue into his mouth as her hand suddenly started rubbing his crotch above his trousers.

Suddenly in the between the obscurity of the alcohol, he was stuck by an acute sense of clarity. This woman was not Dora, a very small part of his mind screamed to him, that small part of mind that bore some clarity, that had not yet been affected by alcohol; he needed to push her. He needed to push her immediately because she had started proceeding, she was unbuttoning his shirt.

He tried to pick up his hands but they were so god damn heavy. He tried to move but alcohol had completely killed his reflexes. He struggled within himself to gain enough energy to push her as now she was trying to straddle him.

Finally, after years of trying to over power his wolfish mind, the smaller part of his mind found control over the alcohol-induced-part of his brain. With sudden strength, he threw her away on the ground.

Stumbling, he got up; that same small part of his mind guiding him to the kitchens to the cupboards. _Green_, he wanted something that was in green packets. Searching cupboards after cupboards frantically, he found the damn thing. He tore open the box and took out one packet. Fumbling he poured the powdery substance in to a glass of water and drank it in one gulp.

Clarity hit him like a slap, like a blast of cold water that made him gasp. It was as if he had been blind and suddenly had been granted vision.

_What the hell happened few minutes ago? _

Scared out of his wits, he made another glass of sober-up and went to the living room.

Ellie sat dejectedly on the sofa and he placed the glass in front of her on the table.

"What's this?"

"Sober-up."

"I am sober Remus." She declared plainly.

He gawked at her. "What- what do you mean you are sober?"

"I am not intoxicated. I didn't even take a sip."

He looked down at her glass, now that he noticed it was barely touched.

"You mean to tell me that you were sober yet... you kissed me?" He asked very slowly again in case he had misunderstood something.

She stood up in a fast motion and faced him with fire in her eyes. "Yes Remus, I knew what I was doing."

"You-you _kissed_ me even when you know that I am with Tonks?" Now that he had understood, he could feel anger bubbling in his stomach.

"You are not really with her now, are you?" She ridiculed. "_She left you._" She spoke with spite that for a moment he wondered if the woman in front of him was really Ellie.

"You don't know what you are saying." He growled.

"Oh believe me! I do know, she left you and yet she is all you are capable of thinking Remus, _you are damaged_."

"What's WRONG with you!"

"What's wrong with me? Are you kidding me? MY WHOLE LIFE IS WRONG or has it escaped your notice while you were busy creating your so called paradise with Tonks? But that didn't work out, did it? She left you." She strode forward to him and poked him in chest. "Yet you have closed your eyes Remus and you refuse to see what is right in front of you. After all the hard work I did to break you both apart _SHE_ CONTINUES TO CLING TO YOU LIKE A _PARASITE_!"

Silence.

"What do you mean _after all the hard work you did_...?" He asked with narrowed eyes.

For a moment she looked she regretted what she had said but then that vicious determined look was back on her face.

"She left because of me, didn't she, Remus?"

"How do you know that?" He asked in a dangerous quiet voice.

"It was me Remus who created problems between you just so you can see that how little she knows about you; the first problem she faces she flees away to save her tiny heart!" She cried.

"You don't mean that..." He replied in shock barely able to believe that he had been betrayed by a friend, _again_.

"Yes Remus I do mean that..." She flopped down on the sofa, closing her eyes in despair. "In past two months, I have done things...played games, devised strategies... that have _changed_ me forever, that have changed who I am... and why? Because I loved you... And I thought you'd be happier with me someone who knew you so well, who understood your needs." She took a deep breath and opened her eyes, while he stood there like a statue, taking in the horrible truth.

"I was like a plague to your relationship... First time I asked you to take me to my family home, I convinced you to lie to her. I placed the doubt in your head that if she would be told truth it will put strain on your relationship...and you did exactly that. I knew though to hide one lie you'll speak numerous and one day that will come back and haunt you... I intentionally blurted out in front of everyone that you didn't like blackberries so that Tonks could see first hand how little she knew about you... When I came to offer you carrot muffins... I-I kept looking from the window for the right opportunity and timed my arrival in such a way that you wouldn't be able to eat from your own hands... what you don't know is that Tonks was there whole time watching our exchange... I knew she must have felt _excluded_... When Claudia came I _made_ Tonks overhear our conversation in which I mentioned that how you weren't really happy with Tonks... it only went downhill from there... I could see it in her eyes that she had started to doubt your relationship... That day on wedding, I cursed her heels to break from faraway and utilized that opportunity to make her see that we were closer than she thought possible... and finally that date... Do you know that she was initially planning to wear green? But I remembered that once in passing you mentioned to me that you loved her in blue, when ever she wore blue... I went to see Tonks that day when she was getting ready. I presented the knowledge in such a form that she was must have been inclined to believe that you loved blue on _me_...and I am sure you must have complemented her but she must have thought that indirectly you were seeing me in her... And I feel when she thought it was enough, she left..."

Her words were ringing in his ears. He struggled to comprehend that for past few weeks whatever had been happening was _her_ doing.

Dora had known, she had known that she was not innocent...

"That day you fell ill, it was an act too." He stated numbly.

"I took a potion which made me faint and forced me to vomit which lead Poppy to believe that I was having negative reactions from the therapy."

"Why are you telling me this now?"

"Because... because today when you kissed me... you thought I was her and as soon as you worked that out, I was thrown to the ground... I think I have had enough..."

He started unblinkingly at the floor as if wanting it to burst open and consume him. He had been betrayed by a person whom he had thought was his well wisher... he really was a loser. First Wormtail, then Snape and now Ellie. Ellie, whom he had been so happy to get back, had stabbed him, had tried to snatch the thing he held most dear.

"When did you become such a manipulative bitch Ellie?" He glared at her across the room, with blazing eyes. "I _trusted_ you. I trusted you and I was looking out for you as a _friend_. I neglected Dora because I thought you needed me, I thought you were weak and vulnerable, I wanted to do all I could to get you back on your feet. But you _used_ me!"

She stood on her shaky legs with tears in her eyes but that didn't quell his anger. All he could see was tears in Dora's eyes when she had left. Right now all he saw was the person who had hurt his woman. "Because I love you Remus..."

"_This is what you call love?" _He spat. "Do you know what love is? You said that she left at the first problem; do you even know that I rejected her for a year yet she never gave up upon me, not even once, she fought for me, she knew I loved her and she fought with me _for me_. That's what love is. I loved her, yet I pushed her away because I didn't want to ruin her life. Pushing her away hurt me so badly yet I did because I LOVED HER. That's what love is. She left me because that-that silly clumsy wonderful woman thought I'd be happier with you. _That's what love is_. Love is sacrificing, if you would have really loved me, you would have known that my happiness was with Dora, you would have accepted us. That's what love would have been. But you manipulated us, you broke us apart..." He shook his head in disgust. "This isn't love Ellie, this is selfishness."

"I am selfish! But what else am I supposed to do? I have no one left-"

"-Don't use that line on me Eliza Wilkins. I have gone through what you are going through right now. Twelve years of my life I have spent in isolation, with no friends no family, it was hard but I accepted my fate. You are at least lucky to have your family! So don't tell me that you had no one left. I had no one left too. But I didn't start manipulating every second person I could for my gain."

"It was not for my _gain_ Remus! I thought I was a better match for you..."

"How can you decide that for me? You say a better match? Do you realize intensity of Dora's love? Do you know her patronus Ellie? It used be a rabbit but it changed! Do you know to what? IT CHANGED TO A WOLF! It changed to my patronus. Now do you understand how much she loves me?" He strode forward and clutched her shoulders in a painful grip. "Now should I tell you how much I love her? I love her so much that right now all I want to do is to inflict the same pain on you that you inflicted on her. I love her so much that I am blinded by rage. I love her so much you would never know... You played with her head Ellie and that is something I'll never forgive." He pushed her away from himself, ignoring her fearful expression.

"Do you know why was I so drunk tonight?" He shakily took out a letter from his trouser pocket. "I received this today from Kingsley." His voice betrayed his emotions as it shook and it all came back rushing to him. "She's hurt. She got hurt day before yesterday in a duel, she's in a bad shape... and what I can do? _Nothing_! I wouldn't have even known if it weren't for Kingsley. For two days she's been in hospital and I got to know today. I was oblivious. I want to reach out for her, but I can't because I'll be dead before I could even enter their premises. I am here and she's there with no one to look out for her and it is killing me." He closed his eyes to blink away the tears. He wouldn't show any sign of weakness in front of this woman. "And the reason she is there, is YOU, Ellie. I said to her, I begged her not to go but she in some stupid sense of nobility of giving me happiness, left... I am equally responsible for her... had I not trusted the wrong person so blindly, she would have been here with me. So bear this in your filthy scheming mind, if something happened to her, I'll forget you ever meant something to me."

"Remus-" She spoke thickly, approaching him.

"Get out Ellie."

"Please, listen-"

"I SAID GET OUT!"

She jumped. She tearfully stumbled away just before she muttered a 'I am sorry.'

Sighing heavily, he sat down back on the sofa.

"Oh Dora... Please come back to me..." he prayed with his eyes closed and slumped down in a rolling position on the sofa, half hoping never to wake up in the world where his beloved wasn't present.


	17. Homecoming

Lying in the bed, Remus kept staring at the ceiling as if trying to crack it open with the force of his will. Which wasn't impossible seeing as he was a wizard feeling immense anger and was capable of accidental magic. The windows had already rattled once with his magic.

Three days had passed since that damn night when he had learned the horrible truth and by experience he knew, neither his pain nor his anger would reduce.

On one hand he was going frantic with worry as there was no news from Kingsley and on the other hand he wanted to lash out at E-_her. _The amount of self control it was taking him to stay where he was, only he knew.

Right now all he wanted was for Tonks to come back; and he would grovel, beg anything to get her back.

He tried to tell himself that it wasn't really his mistake that he had trusted a friend but it was futile. One would think that placing his trust in wrong men twice would have taught him by now a thing or two about trust but _no_, evidently not.

The woman whom he had respected and had been trying to nurse back to health and wealth had been stabbing him in the back continuously and he like a fool had been completely oblivious. And he would have remained unaware had _she_ herself would not have confessed.

The door of the flat clicked open but he remained where he was though he clutched his wand tightly, listening.

Hesitant steps were taken in the direction of the room and he sat up ready to fight whoever it was.

But when the person entered he realized it was the last person he wanted to fight with.

"Dora!" He gasped and immediately stumbled out of the bed. Standing in front of her he hungrily looked at her for two seconds before he covered the distance between them in few strides, instantly clutching her to his chest. "Dora...oh god..." He pulled away to cup her face.

She was smiling sadly, her eyes were shining brightly with tears. She had a huge purple bruise covering her jaw while her forehead was bandaged. Her left arm was in a sling and right hand lightly rested on his waist. He could also see bandaged peeking out of her robes and he guessed that her injuries were more than he could see.

"Dora... what...how... come and sit..." He gently guided her to their bed and she sat back, leaning on the pillows that he arranged for her against the headboard. He saw her wince as he gently picked up her legs from the floor to place on the bed.

"How did you came here?" He asked softly once she had settled comfortably. It was the foremost question in front of his mind. She was in a pretty bad shape and he wondered what kind of thoughtless people had let her go alone.

"I-" She began, her voice scratchy as if it hadn't been used for days. She cleared her throat and continued. "I requested them to transfer me to my country once I was deemed fit for transportation. They agreed me to shift to St Mungo's here. Today when I was here, I got Kingsley to pull some strings and get me home...to you. I wanted to be with you..."

"You shouldn't have done that Dora." He gently chided. "If you were here I would have come to see you immediately once the word would have got to me." He raised his hand and slowly caressed her cheek with the back of his fingers. She closed her eyes at the contact and leaned further into the pillows.

"They wouldn't have let you see me, Remus... And if they would have granted you the permission, they wouldn't have let you stay and as I said I wanted to be with you..."

He sighed in affection and slowly leaned forward to place a kiss on her lips. "How did you came here?" He asked while gently stroking her head.

"I owe Kingsley a lot; he had helped me so much... it was him who dropped me til here..."

"What happened Dora, how did you got injured?" He asked while picking up his leg and sitting Indian style next to her, facing her as she took his palm and placed it on the non-bruised cheek.

"I was dueling and I was losing...and then when I fell to the ground, my component bound me and left me there... after few minutes there was an explosion near the building we were fighting. Remus, so _many_ people died that day in the battle, I was lucky to even survive... I- Remus I..." Tears rolled from her eyes and he tried to shush her gently as he listened her story with horrified fascination. "I got burnt pretty badly and while I lay there on the ground... bound and bleeding and feeling that horrible burn in my chest... all I could think was about you, that..." She swallowed as if reviving something really painful, "-that if something happened to me... our last encounter was exchange of hateful words and... if I never returned to you, you'll forever blame yourself. Remus when I lay there in pain and agony I felt my whole life flashing in front of me and I realized in _that_ instant... just as I was losing consciousness, I realized that you may have made mistakes but you have always loved me... And I remember fairly that as I blacked out I cried out for you one last time..." her voice clogged and she could say no more.

Remus felt his heart twist painfully at her words and he gently moved forward to cradle her to his chest, mindful of her injuries. "I am so sorry Dora... so sorry that I wasn't there, so sorry that you had to go through this, so sorry that you had to leave... it's all my fault..." He kept murmuring in her ear as he rocked her softly until she quieted down.

Slowly she pulled away and looked at him, "It's me who should be apologizing Remus... I shouldn't have left like that, I should have trusted you, we should have talked..."

"No, no, I gave you every reason to doubt Dora, I didn't give you a choice..."

"But Remus if any of my male friends asks help from me, I won't be able to deny-"

"Oh but it wasn't _help_ Dora, it wasn't." He spoke softly in her hairs. "I am sorry love, you were right all along."

"Meaning?"

"We will talk about this later, right now you need to rest and I need to call Madam Pomfrey."

"But everytime we decide to talk, something or the other happens, it ends up in disaster."

"Oh but the reason of that disaster is gone...I mean I won't let that happen, I have been a fool Dora, I trusted the wrong person again. It was Ellie, it was _Ellie_ who broke us apart but... she did all that _intentionally_... oh she's a _horrible _woman Dora, I am _disgusted_ by her..." His face crumbled in pain and shame as he spoke softly.

"What?" She didn't appear much shocked. "Oh Remus... I suspected it all along and I was so sure..."

He sighed. "Dora you need to rest right now. Whenever something happens to you, I am unable to breathe, so please... You came here in a fit of stubbornness even when you are in no shape to travel..."

"I will be fine love... I am sure Poppy will be able to fix me..." She smoothed his frown by placing a kiss between his brows. It did not escape his notice how she winced slightly at the movement of her neck.

"Do-do you mind telling me where you are hurt?" He asked hesitantly. People were often sensitive about their injuries; even he didn't like to talk about his full moon wounds.

She sighed sadly. "Well this bandaged on my head should go in few days, I suppose I got it when I fell to the ground. And this one on my jaw... he- the one I was dueling with- kicked me after he had immobilized me and that is putting it gently..." He cringed and wanted to tore the leg of the person who had dared to kick her. By the size of the bruise it looked as if he had tried to break her bone with his shoe but he didn't pry. "And this sling and other minor cut I don't even remember how I got..."

"You said something about getting burned?"

She instantly stiffened in his embrace.

"Dora...?"

"Remus my... stomach and chest... got fire and I haven't seen it yet myself but they say it isn't pretty..." She clenched her eyes painfully.

"Dora... it's going to be okay... thanks to magic... I am sure it will be gone in no time... I am just glad you are okay." He gently encouraged her when he realized what it was about. Women were sensitive about looks and scars and as much as it was paining her physically, he knew she was worried about the burned mark more.

"But- but what if it never heals? What if I am unable to morph it? And even if I can morph it what if the morph slips... What if it's so hideous and ugly that it repulses you?"

"Hey..." He whispered soothingly and kissed her temple. "Do my scars repulse you Dora? Need I remind you what you say about them? That they just show how brave I am?"

"But I am a woman Remus, I am _supposed_ to be pretty. And it's burn mark... all ugly..."

"You'll always be pretty for me, no matter how you look and no matter how many scars you get. Every woman is beautiful by her heart. And besides I am sure there's no need to be worried. I shared a dorm with Sirius and James and have been on edge of their worst pranks and I have got injured numerous times including burns. But they always heal and the skin go backs to normal." He kissed her temple again to reassure her. "I love you Dora and you are the most beautiful sight for me and it will be so even after eighty years."

She cracked a small smile and he tenderly wiped her tears.

"Remus, about Ellie..."

"We'll talk about it once you get some rest. Now let us get you disrobed so that you can get comfortable."

Together they got rid of her robe and jeans gingerly so that now she was only in her t-shirt and knickers.

"Do you want to get off your t-shirt too?"

"No..." she whispered meekly, "I am not wearing a bra as it hinders with my injury and as I said, I am not yet ready to look at it."

"Alright, but remember I am always there for you." She gently laid on her back; just as he went to cover her, he saw a raw scar on her thigh. Tracing its outline, he asked quietly. "This one?"

"Slicing spell... Remus _they_ marvel at dark arts... I was far too inexperienced to face them."

He frowned at her mention of dark arts and wondered what else she had gone through which she was hiding it within herself. Deciding to ask about it later, he covered her with sheets.

"Sleep." He leaned forward and placed a kiss above her bandaged.

"Join me?" She requested softly.

"I need to inform the Order and then Poppy. And I also need to prepare something for you; but I am here next room, I will be looking out for you, okay?"

"Okay..." She replied, her eyelids drooping.

Kissing her head one last he slowly walked to the door and switched off the lights. Just as he was about to shut the door, he heard her murmur.

"Love you Remus..."

Smiling with a lump in his throat he replied back, "Love too sweetheart."


	18. Yet again

Remus closed the door as last of their visitors left. Poppy and Molly had been over to see Tonks. He was grateful to Poppy that she always took time to help Order members even when she was busy enough with the school.

Poppy had sent him out of the room when she had wanted to diagnose Tonks. So he had sat for about half an hour in the living room, waiting impatiently. When he had been called in, he had hesitantly stepped in only to see Molly sitting beside Tonks who had dried tear stains on her cheeks. When he had worriedly asked the reason Molly and Poppy had sighed and had bid them goodbye to give them privacy.

Just as he entered the bedroom, Tonks spoke up:

"Please take me out..."

"Out?"

"Yeah just the living room, I want to _sit_ for a change. I have got tired of being on a bed for past few days." Seeing her despair, he approached her to help her up. But just as he grabbed her shoulders, she said: "Really Remus I can walk. You don't have to carry me."

He placed his other arm beneath her knees and picked her up anyway. "I know you can. I just don't want you to, not yet and besides I want to do this."

He carried her to the sofa and placed her on it, her hand lingering on his shoulder. He summoned her the broth that Molly had brought along with her at such a short notice.

"What did Poppy say?" He asked sitting beside her and handing her the bowl and spoon.

Taking a tentative sip, she sighed in relief. "Thanks to Molly that even a boring broth becomes delicious."

Tucking a single strand of brown hair behind her ear, he let her have her time.

"I- well, I saw that burn mark." She said slowly and ever so quietly.

"What did Poppy say?" He repeated.

"She said that it might take time but it will heal."

"What's the problem then? I am sure it's going to be okay." He caressed her shoulder reassuringly as she continued to look in her bowl.

"It's pretty gruesome."

"I understand Dora. But that is not what is bothering me, I just hope it won't have any long-term effect on your health. I don't want you to be in pain."

She looked up and giving him a shaky smile she brought his head closer and pressed a kiss on the corner of his mouth. "You are the best."

He sighed. They sat there in silence as she took her broth while he thought about what she had just said about him being the best. Was he really the best? Far from it. He wasn't even good enough. Unknowingly he had hurt her too much in his mad frenzy of trying to secure his last connection to his past. He should have been more alert and aware about the feelings and intentions of the people around him.

"What had happened here?" She asked breaking his reverie.

"Well for starters Harry, Ron and Hermione left."

"They did?" She didn't looked overly shocked as Molly had been when she had learned of their departure. She just looked curious as if she had expected it. Well in all honestly, they all had expected it. They all had an inkling that Harry was left some task by Albus which only he was to complete, along with the aid of Ron and Hermione.

"Yes, we haven't heard from them and I hope we don't hear it in the future. No news is good news in their case."

She nodded and asked, "What else?"

"They.. the Death Eaters I mean, they burned Dedalus's house and though nothing happened to him, same couldn't be said about his wife. She died in fire."

She winced at the news. He understood what she was thinking... burning in a fire was the most horrible way to die... She shuddered as apparently memory of her own experience with fire came back.

"Dedalus was devastated..."

"Anyone would be..."

"Yes, anyone would be... And they have tabooed You-know-who's name, and now even I have to call him You-know-who or else within seconds I'll have not-so-friendly Death Eaters knocking on my door."

She stared at him wide-eyed and finally settled on: "A lot has happened."

"Yes." He replied grimly though this time not thinking about the war developments.

She noticed the minute change in his demeanor and placed the empty bowl on the table to turn her complete attention to him. Taking his hand in hers, she asked, "What happened with Ellie, Remus?"

He started at the ground and pursed his lips together. He didn't want to look in her eyes, he felt too guilty but she took his chin in her hand and made him look at her.

"Oh well, I was betrayed by a friend, _again_." He laughed bitterly.

"It's not your fault Remus."

"I try to tell myself but I can't get it in my head that it _isn't_ my fault. I got too blind in helping her and I made a huge judgement error. I knew she wouldn't be exactly happy when she found out about us but I didn't knew that she would stoop _so_ low. I guess I expected too much, all I had wanted from her was her friendship and her acceptance of our relationship. James, Lily, Sirius, they all wanted to see me settling down...and besides my parents I wanted them more than ever to attend my wedding. So, when she came back, a part of me felt that not only Ellie but also a part of James, Lily and Sirius too have came back with her... _I just expected too much..._"

"Relationships are complicated Remus... Love is complicated." She rubbed the back of his hand with her thumb soothingly.

He shook his head in despair. "You don't understand Dora... She- she was so kind that she was incapable of ever hurting a soul and I guess that's where I made the mistake. I thought she was same... it's Peter all over again."

She caressed his back and his heart rippled with emotion when he realized that after all the mistakes he had done, she was still comforting him; even though he had hurt her she was worried about him. _Still_.

"I want to apologize to you Dora..." He sighed and picked up his courage to look her in the eye. She needed to see how sincere he was being about this. "I-I realized how in haste to help my friend, how at times I-I neglected you, there were situations where I behaved appallingly... On our date, the way I left-" He flushed with shame when his actions came back to him."-I shouldn't have left you that way, in that state. I-I should have waited, I should have acted more calmly but-but when I got that letter I just felt as if I was about to lose one of my friends again and I went berserk and I behaved in a very undignified way..."

She looked at him with understanding and kindness in her eyes and he once again wondered that how at one hand people like Ellie didn't even have a scrap of compassion whereas on the other hand people like Dora were filled with it.

"Yes that day you hurt me deeply and... that was the like the last straw for me... I had never felt so vulnerable before."

He bowed his head in humiliation. "I am so so sorry... There's no explanation for it..."

"Yes there is... You made a mistake yes, but you wanted to help your friend. I should have understood that your intentions were clean..."

"You are blaming _yourself_ after all the mistakes _I_ have made?" He asked incredulously.

"I am not blaming myself. I-I just think I should have handled thing more gracefully. I shouldn't have let our relationship slip so easily from my hand. Your love means the world to me and I gave up too easily especially when I knew that Ellie was playing games and I should have had more faith in your love..."

"You had every reason to doubt my love. For a year..." A lump formed in his throat as all the unpleasant flashbacks to his head.

"We decided to look past it Remus. Please I don't want you to think about that time anymore."

"Nevertheless I am sorry..." He cradled her hands and kissed her knuckles. "I also want to apologize for lying to you about the times when I went with Ellie but believe me _nothing_ happened. For me she had been a friend all over this time."

"You shouldn't have lied to me Remus..."

"No I shouldn't have."

"I have enough people lying to me as it is- at work, at Ministry... I don't want my fiancé to lie to me too. That was another thing I couldn't bear. You know I hate it when someone lies to me. Especially someone I love."

He stared in to her eyes. She didn't look angry, just upset. Yes he had always known that she hated lies yet he had done so, just to protect her feelings. But he had realized lying was not the way to protect your loved ones. It always made the situation worse. Registering this, he realized there was one more thing he needed to tell her.

"Dora..." He took a deep breath and hoped that it wouldn't make the things worse. But then he had learned his lessons, no more lies. "I-I... I didn't mean to but...but I... I sort of... kissed Ellie."

He could have felt her hands growing cold in his as the color fled from them.

She shakily pulled her hands away from his and asked barely in a whisper, "What?"

He could see what she was thinking and he hurried in to an explanation. "It isn't what it seems like."

"IT ISN'T?!" She yelled and stood up with speed.

"Sit down Dora, you'll hurt yourself and I'll explain-"

"Explain! What's there to explain-"

"Dora-" He tried to touch her shoulder and she backed off.

"DON'T TOUCH ME!" She shrieked and he felt a sense of déjà vu at her words. "Here I am trying to understand you, trying to mend our relationship and you-you are telling me you _kissed_ Ellie while I was out there in danger risking my life all in my madness to give you space..." She was shaking like a leaf, with anger or grief he didn't know.

"Damn it Tonks! I was drunk, if you at least hear me out-" He spoke with impatience. He couldn't let things spiral out of his control again, he couldn't.

"_Drunk? _Very plausible reason isn't it?" She kept staggering backwards until she collided with the fireplace and stumbled. He made to help her but her eyes made it clear she didn't want him near her.

"Just hear me out Dora please..." He requested with a sense of panic.

"I have tried to put up with so much... but-but not this. You can't come to me and say you were drunk and expect me to tolerate it. If I were to accidentally sleep with a bloke when I got drunk you won't forgive me, will you?"

He took a deep breath and tried to find a suitable answer but before he could work out something, she had grabbed the floo powder.

"No, Dora where are you going-DORA!"

But she was gone, disappeared in long green flames. Just before she vanished he thought he heard her saying out Burrow's name. He felt a tiny sense of relief above all the panic to know that she was among their friends in such a weakened state. But that relief vanished as soon as he realized that there was where Ellie was.

Sinking dejectedly in to the sofa, he grabbed his head between his hands.

Should he go there and confront all of them at once? Wouldn't it be best if Ellie, Tonks and he could talk out everything in front of each other without getting diverted or manipulated from topic? But what was there to talk precisely? He wasn't sure he wanted to see Ellie's face and he knew as a fact that Tonks won't be too forgiving either.

Or should he just wait here and give Tonks some space. He was sure she wasn't thinking clearly- between her anger and painkiller potions- he couldn't blame her. Once she quieted down, surely she would forgive him?

Deciding to take the middle way, he resolved to wait for exactly an hour.

* * *

Once merry filled Burrow was strangely empty. It hadn't been difficult for Molly to give her one of the rooms, again- seeing as Ginny was at school, Ron was on run, Charlie was in Romania and Bill was at Shell cottage. It was only Molly, Arthur and the twins here who had decided to close down their shops temporarily and move in back with their parents instead... and of course there was that horrible bitch of a woman Wilkins. Though Tonks hadn't mentioned to Molly, she had sent her to the room farthest to _hers_.

So sitting on Ginny's small bed, she twiddled her wand between her thumb and forefinger.

Talking to Molly had helped her a bit. She was like her mother and Tonks wouldn't have preferred to talk to her own mother anyways. Not that she could if she wanted to. Ted and Andromeda had gone in to hiding, had left the country on their daughter's insistence. She had two less people to worry about.

She had blurted out everything to Molly, every feeling, every insecurity to her she had been feeling ever since Wilkins had came back. She had talked until her mouth had started aching and until she had been mentally exhausted. Finally deciding to call it a night, she had came here in the room yet she was unable to asleep. She didn't even know what she felt anymore. And still, she had some very major decisions to take.

The door softly creaked open and in came the person Tonks was least willing to see in the world, well maybe after You-Know-Who and Bellatrix.

Gripping her wand tightly she pointed it at the figure. "Don't you even _dare_ to enter this room _Wilkins_." She spat her name with as much as anger she could muster. "I am tired, exhausted and injured, I am emotionally drained and it will be damn right if I say that I am not in my right mind. If you fancy your hands and limbs intact and your pretty little face, I suggest you leave right now. The only reason I have not hexed you yet is because it's going to be _messy_ and I don't want to defile my friend's house."

Staring blankly at the wall behind Tonks, Ellie mumbled dejectedly:

"I am willing to take my chances."

* * *

_Clifff... hangerrrr... well..._


End file.
